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  1. #21

    ?

    who would question the well being of your child and family? suck it up, and do whats best for your family.

  2. #22
    I live in Annapolis also, but I'd say I get a fair amount of water time. I'm in grad school in DC, so when classes are slamming me, I don't get much, but otherwise I hit every forecasted swell. Obviously I miss the two hour gems that you've got to be local to score, but if there's any kind of storm coming, I'm usually on it. Last year was rough because of school, but other than that, I've probably gotten most of the better swells in the last 4 years.

    I think it's about finding a good group of people who want it as badly as you do, so that no matter what, you've got someone to head down with. It helps to know people with flexible schedules, though. For instance, I surf a lot with a guy in the fire dept. Another guy I surf with a lot works for his dad, so he can take a half day pretty often. Create a flexible schedule for yourself (which may be difficult working in the restaurant industry) and surround yourself with others with similar flexibility, and you'll definitely surf on the regular.

    I'm sure having a kid could change all that though. Congrats, btw

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kenai Peninsula, Alaska
    Posts
    469
    You have new family responsibilities and that definitely changes things. You want to take care of your wife and kid(s) and do what's right by your family and I'm sure you will - you seem like a responsible dude. But be careful about sacrificing yourself and who you are in the process. I'm not saying you need to be selfish about it but you are an important part of the equation. If you're miserable living away from the beach, your relationships with your wife, kids, and parents will suffer. What's the point? It's about finding that balance where everybody is satisfied (at least most of the time). It's not easy and I'm sure most (older) people on here have to work constantly to maintain the balance. Also, don't you want to share the stoke with your kids? If you're living and working in Baltimore they won't get to know the 'real' you and you won't get the chance to share the joy of being in the water with them. Your trips to surf will be solo sessions (or with friends) and the kids will stay home with mom. Or you'll take family trips to the beach and you won't get to surf because you'll be doing the dad thing. But if you live at the beach you'll be able to split things up more easily and you won't feel like you need to paddle out every time you're at the beach. Good luck choosing and be thankful that you have the freedom to choose. Lots of people don't have that freedom...

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    In a state of flux
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    2,960
    I know guys who live inland who surf WAY more then locals who live 300 yards from the beach. It all boils down to your commitment and what you wife will put up with.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    CAPE MAY ,NJ
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    It just depends how bad you want it . In some cases people just don't wanna be a Pirate anymore and surf all day and work a ****ty job at night. Some go to school to build rocking chairs and churn butter (inside joke) but if you can juggle stuff and work hard you should be able to play hard as well

  6. #26
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Lewes, DE
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    good topic, and I understand your conundrum Zach. You wouldnt believe how many surfers there are that travel from inland 1-2+ hours. Especially in the Mid Atlantic where theren't aren't as many jobs right along the coast, and all of the city development is inland.

    You can make it happen if you live in Baltimore, but be real with yourself and know you are going to miss some swells....especially if you are just about to start a family and will have priorities above your surfing. Having said that, if you are in the restaurant business, there is definitely not a lack of that in Delmarva. If you are good at what you do, then you can definitely find a job in Delmarva. I doubt you'll make as much money as in Baltimore, but I guess that is where you can weigh the pros and cons of earnings versus beach living. Plus cost of living will be cheaper.

    If you really want to live near the beach in Delmarva you can definitely make it happen. You might need to think outside the box and start looking at other ways to invest and earn money. If your wife is also looking for a job in some other industry, then that might get trickier.

    Good luck,

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Chadwick
    Posts
    1,297
    i chose to live at the beach.i lived just over the bridge once briefly and missed waves a lot. i lived inland for college and missed a lot more.then i moved back,chose to be poor,own nothing,rent, and be happy and surfing.wife is happy,two happy children,no college tuition,one full scholarship,one a West Point Grad who happily married his childhood sweetheart.i married a woman who understood that we'll always be at the beach,vacations and all.i work pretty far inland but teaching affords me the possibility of surfing every day.but i did not surf nearly as much when the boys were little.of course,my wife understands i'm a surfer,i'm going surfing,it's what i do.my parents did not approve,but i guess when i went surfing and did not show up to my own graduation from college it was hurtful.i probably would not do that again...i went to my son's Graduation at West Point.

  8. #28
    That's a tough position to be in. I promised myself that I would never move more than 1 hour away from the water, not just for me, but also for my future kids, because I want them to have the beach as a playground as they grow up. If you do find yourself having to move inland, don't become the depressed/irritable inland surfer. Take up other activities that also keep you exercised physically like mountain biking, kayaking, running, climbing, etc., and hopefully doing any of those things can give you a mental tranquility that surfing gives. Even though they can't compare to surfing, at least you are still active.

    I hear ya about Baltimore. I went up there last Labor Day (sacrificed the Earl swell) to see some friends I haven't met in a while, and we did the bar hopping thing. It's a cool town, but I did get a sense that the locals there frequented the bars as a hobby, and that just gets old too quick. The saving grace is that there are some pretty good biking trails outside of town.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Green Room
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    903
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    I think I can tie this thread to another regarding the balance between career and surfing and throw in location...

    In six months my job is moving two hours away from home to norther MD (2 hours from the beach). I have decided not to move there but to commute back and forth as much as possible until I find something more local. I will have a crash pad or something for during the week but will try not to stay there all week. I will be home on the weekends. I'm married with no kids so that is good and bad. Kids may be on the way in the future, Lord willing. I think it will put strain on my relationship with my wife, of course, but in todays job market, I don't think it's time to give up a good job just because the commute got longer.

    So this is what my initial thoughts were, pretty much not going to catch the surf after work anymore unless during the summer when it's light out until about 9 pm. I will join the weekend warriors. Try to find something closer but right now it seems like there isn't a whole lot. Unless I go into the city which is the same length commute for me. I get 5-6 weeks off per year and 10 paid holidays so that will definietely help out. Also, I work from home one day per week so that should help out with surfing before and after work on that day.

    Thoughts?

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Hilton Head Island - OB, SD
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    Quote Originally Posted by LBCrew View Post
    Wait 'till your years start taking their toll. Wait 'till you what you want to do and used to do turns into what you can't do anymore.

    This is gonna sound corny, but I'll say it anyway... laugh if you like. But it sounds like you're at peace with who you are as a surfer. Not everybody is... and that's sort of a torturous life. People who want to prove something to themselves are never at peace. People who have reached a point in their lives where they have nothing left to prove live a life of contentment. A lot of that contentment comes with acceptance. You've nothing to prove to yourself. You've achieved all you've expected of yourself through dedication, commitment, and practice, and you're living the life of what you believe a "surfer" should be. Now there's an opportunity for your life to change, and you need to make an important decision. Where you live, how you earn a living... all that stuff... that's just what you DO, not who you ARE.

    Waves were here before you were born, and will be here long after you're gone. All of us go from shorepound groms, to king of the peak, to shoulder hopper, through our lifespan as surfers. The trick with dealing with all these changes is keeping that peace... that contentment in knowing who we are... and knowing that there will always be waves. You can always just go surfing...
    Wow, thats very well said. You pretty much get exactly where I am coming from.

    I have worked very hard, and I am now completely at peace with my surfing. So for the rest of my life I want to ENJOY it, not obsess over it...

    But after all these comments I guess everyone agrees that a little of every surfer is lost when they are relocated away from the ocean...

    And the comments about balance from everyone are spot on. That is EXACTLY what I am looking for. I look at leaving the west coast at all as a pretty large scarifice (mentally) on my part. So the least I can do for myself is go 100% towards making the beach thing work...

    Unfortunately, Virginia Beach (On paper) is the one area with cheap condos right by the beach and a year round job market with upwards of a million people....

    But VB is still a 4+ hour drive. OC MD is 2. So if I am driving the wife and kids to the grandparents and cousins every week, 4+ hours each way is doable...

    But that perfect balance would be in OC MD. I can make that trip back to Bmore like nothing. Its an easy 2 hour drive... And I just have this perfect vision of me raising the kids there. Having everyone on both sides of our families coming out to visit us all summer/fall. I have this perfect balance in mind, it will just take some hard work to make it all happen...

    At this point, my honest opinion is that we should have our baby in San Diego, keep saving up and in a year or so, maybe pack up everything, head back to Baltimore FOR A COUPLE WEEKS... stay with the family and use baltimore as a jump off point to head out to OC MD/DE to look for work every day. And once I get some work, we grab an apartment and bounce out there....

    So, at this point, that will be my plan. But again, with a spotty job market etc, I hope I dont end up getting trapped in baltimore...

    Thanks for the advise guys... Great comments.