Oh man that really "grinds my gears". Here is what I do- paddle right over and sit 6 feet inside of him. When he turns around to catch a wave, I am sitting in his way looking at him all confused. After a few waves they usually get the point, say something under their breath, and scurry off. If it's a group, I just loudly make cracks about the port-a-crowd.
i just talk out loud about all the people i haven't seen since labor day and where do they surf the other ten months of the year and why aren't they surfing there now?then they go away or i get all aggro.then they go away or they get pissed off,and then they see my non-reaction and go away or totally lose it on me,and then when i continue ignoring them i finally point and say 'look!nobody down there!' at which point they finally go away and never come near me again.ever.this would work on anyone.
I will paddle out and pull up on somebody like this if they're obviously a beginner... I'm causing them no harm as even if they actually manage to get down the line, I'll be going faster, plus other people avoid surfing near them so I don't have to be as aggro to get waves. Works pretty well, and if you just give the guy a tip or two, he walks away with a big smile.
Just point at the water a few feet away from you and yell the "s" word, or if you prefer a more subtle method, just start talking to people about all the recent sightings in the area and ask if they heard about the guy that got bit the other day. This will at least get people who dont know any better or arent from the area out of there. If they dont go in its likely that many of them will be spooked and looking around at the water the whole session allowing you to get into position before them when a set comes.
Just wondering if everybody here can say that they have never paddled out next to someone on the best peak themselves. I know I have but would never take the peak right off the bat. I usually paddle out and give some space until I see them blow a few perfect waves then move in. I am with everyone here and get probably more pissed off then most when someone comes too close. It's one thing to have someone sitting in the best spot who can't do anything with the wave it's another if one guy or a group of guys who clearly know each other have a peak nailed down. To come from nowhere and paddle out in the situation is just plain wrong. To paddle out, sit 15 feet away trying to catch my eye so they can say "Nice Day huh?" to get their foot in the door deserves a snub. Give me my freakin space there are ****ty waves breaking up and down the beach, take a hike bozo, lol!