Atlantic City area surfers - Beware Bogeton Wolftucks.
Listen, anyone fimiliar with Atlantic City knows that all sorts of species can be found living under the boardwalk. We all feel bad for them.
One day last week, I was walking down the boardwalk and spotted a big pack of seaguls a few blocks north of States Ave. They were the big guls that have a lot of feathers on them that resembles fur. I'm totally stoked on those dudes. They look furry and shoot. So, I dodged a few memebers of the 8 Block, and went onto the beach.
I try and communicate with seaguls. I try and creep up on them and initiate conversation. I've been doing this for a long time, and quite frankly, I haven't had much success. But I will never stop trying.
I approached the pack, which were longing at the waters edge and was making good progrees when I heard, "Excuse me Chap."
I turned around and a rather large sized dog was looking straight at me. He must have come from under the boardwalk and was now a few feet away from me.
"Allow me to present myself, I am Bogeton Wolftucks. I am from Wales and I eat surfers." Can you imagine what it's like to hear a dog speaking to you........
So I countered back in my best Spicoli voice, " Hahaaaahaa aaaaa I'm no surfer, I'm a boogie boarder, dude. I guess your shat out of luck. Hawhawhawhaw.."
Bogeton Wolftucks wasn't having any of that. Angrily he stated, " THOSE PETRID TECHNICALLITIES MATTER NOTHING TO ME !!!!" He looked over me and said, " I, Bogeton Wolftucks, from Wales, will eat any rider of any surf......unless they beat me in a game of poker."
What could I do? There was no running away from him. So, we went back under the boards, he poured a glass of cheap brandy which he chugged back, and proceeded to deal a hand of poker. Dude, I hadn't played poker in quite some time and was extremely nervous. My luck hasn't been of the good kind lately either..... Bogeton Wolftucks checked his cards and smiled. I hesitantly picked my cards up and took a painstakingly long look at them. I couldn't believe my eyes - three Queens. Not too shabby, I thought. However,Bogeton Wolftucks had a peculiar smile on his furry face, and I admit my confidence began to wane.
Bogeton threw down three Jacks !!! I jumped up, hitting my head on the boards and slammed my three Queens on the ramshackled table. " HA BOGETON WOLFTUCKS, there will be no eating of human flesh for you today, sir !!!"
Oh yeah, you dudes surfing those places in AC, be wary of Bogeton Wolftucks.....for he eats surfers.....unless your lady luck is shinning that day.