I was having a blast handplaning the fading swell on tuesday evening at Lake Worth Pier, when I got worked on the sandbar and separated from my Brownfish handplane. I swam in after it, but couldn't find it in the fading light. Did anyone find it on the beach south of there? Probably washed up somewhere between Lake Worth Pier and Boyton. I'm offering a reward to anyone who can reunite me with the smallest board in my quiver.
First off, a little background about me. I am a generous and honorable human being. After years and years of dealing with worsening behavior from my girlfriend I was really at my wits end trying to find a way to connect and break through to her. God knows I tried everything! ...or at least I thought.
Then one day, while walking along the beach, I happened to notice something laying in the (Lake Worth) beachbreak, partially covered in the sand. After uncovering it I really couldn't figure out what it was. Being the curious type I held on to it hoping to discover the purpose of this mysterious item. Later that night while my girlfriend and I were fooling around I noticed that my hand began to swell and become red from spanking her. She had been misbehaving all day, and now that we had retired to my bedroom, she had put her hair into pig tails and put on her old catholic schoolgirl uniform, sans undies. Well Joel, I don't need to tell you how strict of a man I am. She hadn't cleaned her room and was chewing bubblegum after curfew. Joel you'd be very proud of me. I remained calm, tried discussing the problematical behavior with her, but unfortunately the misbehaving continued. There was only one thing I could do. I don't know if it was instinct, or the divine word of my barking dog, but something told me to put that thing on my hand and spank that naughty catholic schoolgirl until she had learned her lesson.
Later that evening while I washed the dishes, ballgag, and latex face mask with zipper mouth, it got me to thinking. Why was this hand paddle left on the beach? Why would someone be so careless with something so precious? I began to think all sorts of negative things about its previous owner. How could someone lose something so important and simply give up looking for it? They must have never really appreciated it to begin with.
Joel, relationships like the one you had with the hand paddle were never meant to last. Please understand that it is in a much better place, being treated and appreciated the way it deserves. I hope that you can grow as a human being and begin to see that when things we hold dear to our heart are not cherished and protected... they can sometimes slip between our fingers and become lost forever.