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Thread: Marry a surfer?

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
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    4,082
    Quote Originally Posted by WLP215 View Post
    Congratulations!
    I'm getting married in April to a woman who sounds pretty similar... I think we both got pretty lucky.
    Congrats back at ya, definitely got lucky for sure

  2. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by DawnPatrolSUP View Post
    I'm getting married on Saturday, to a non-surfer, BUT she goes to the beach with me to hang out every time I go surf and doesn't complain or make it so that i'll cut my sessions short. She does sometimes get out there when it's small and likes to get pushed into a wave or two, but then she'll just go back and sit on the beach and watch. She likes the peace and quiet, and it all works out. The point i'm getting at is that it doesn't matter if she surfs or not, what matters is that she knows what it means to YOU and she doesn't get in the way of that. If she's a good woman, she'll support you in whatever it is that you LOVE to do, otherwise it won't work out, and you'll either stop surfing to please her, or you'll constantly be pissing her off with your LOVE for something NOT her. My two cents...
    Too true. I was once engaged and she viewed surfing as "the other woman." It created some serious animosity and that, among a myriad of other reasons led to the demise of the relationship. I can recall a trip to the beach in August of 2010 where we really got in to it. We went to the beach and there was some picture perfect hurricane swell out in the water. She got legit angry with me for surfing and not just sitting on the beach and hangin with her.

    Sorry hun, when it's 5 feet, perfect and glassy, you're just going to have to deal with me surfing, a lot, for a long time. Long story short, I'll take the single life, or a girl who loves surfing too, or a girl who just understands that I gotta be me and deals with me accordingly. Maybe I need to find a chick who's way in to photography and likes snapping photos of me kooking it up.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    151
    Some good advice here. I'm married (no kids yet) - wife doesn't surf, but enjoys hanging on the beach. I tried to get her into it...she's cool when it's somewhere tropical and knee-waist high and clean, but doesn't enjoy the east coast wind chop and 55 degree water. Props to her for giving it a shot though.

    Anyway, like everyone else said, it's about compromise and understanding what's important to each other. She knows when it's firing, just about anything will get dropped for surfing. However, if it's something that's important to her, I'll usually make it an early morning session so we can do her thing later in the day. So far so good.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kenai Peninsula, Alaska
    Posts
    470
    Hate to rain on the honeymoon, but things may change. At least they did in my case. My wife used to do all sorts of coolness. Took our honeymoon at oualie beach in Nevis and windsurfed the days away. Backcountry turns and yurt trips in northern new Mexico, surf trips to Bocas, mt biking all over the four corners. It was fun while it lasted, then we had kids, now her only hobby is shopping and buying crap we don't need. Oh well. At least my boys are getting old enough to do some real trips up here now. And the dogs will always go anywhere with me...

  5. #35
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    Apr 2008
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    In a state of flux
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    3,163
    been married to a non-surfer for 23 years. the key is to let her know very early in the relationship how much surfing means to you. If she is cool with that then you are good and if she hates it then you aren't so tied up that you cant bail out.

  6. #36
    "She got legit angry with me for surfing and not just sitting on the beach and hangin with her. "

    This reminded me of my ex girlfriend, she even once asked what I love more surfing or her. She didn't appreciate my answer "I've been surfing longer" Needless to say that didn't last. I am now happily married. My wife fully supports me surfing and when we got engaged got me a custom surfboard as a "mangagement" present. She understands my need to surf and knows the deal, when we first met, I laid it out for her, and she accepted that is who I am. (just like I accept she is a vegetarian and I eat meat). We've never had a problem, she does want to come on some, but not all surf trips as she does like to park her ass on the beach.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    South Shore, MA
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    180
    i hear ya there pumpmaster. i'm not married but i've been with the same girl for a while. she knows how important surfing is to me, but i still will never live down the time i said "nothing compares to the feeling of riding a wave." she goes "nothing?" i say "ya it's the best" (wrong answer). but at least we can joke about it!

  8. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by aka pumpmaster View Post
    been married to a non-surfer for 23 years. the key is to let her know very early in the relationship how much surfing means to you. If she is cool with that then you are good and if she hates it then you aren't so tied up that you cant bail out.
    If you're dating someone you need to give them the surfing test.

    When my wife and I were dating and it first started getting serious, I would get up in the morning and go paddle out EVEN WHEN IT WAS TOTALLY FLAT. I would just float around a while, disappear for a few hours, just to let her see that this is what it was going to be like and kind of to see how she would react. She needed to know that I would be gone, absent, totally disappear for stretches. She passed the test. Big time.

    Eight years on now and she's still passing the test, mostly because she sees now, especially with kids and all, how much happier and more pleasant to be around I am after I get back from the beach.

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Out on the island
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    379
    Quote Originally Posted by unsalted View Post
    Should you, or should you not, marry a surfer? Who's gona watch the kids when the surf is up? Who's gona pay the bills if you both get fired for calling in sick to go surfing? But then if they don't surf how will they understand your love for surfing and the need to surf every chance you get? It's a dilemma... my answer is, stay single then I don't have to worry about it
    if deciding to get married relies on weather or not the person is a surfer then you may not be ready to get married.

  10. #40
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Long Island
    Posts
    51
    My wife doesnt surf but she knows how much it means to me.We now have 19 Month old twin boys and still haven't missed a swell since they were born.When we first found out we were having twins my response was"please dont let me give up surfing" her response ''you can't leave me alone with two babies" but somehow we worked it out.You have to explain to them without it we would be a living corpse.I go out on a dawn patrol when I come back she goes out jogging.The bottom line is no relationship is easy then throw a passion into it where we can't pick and choose when there's a swell but if you love it like I do(surfing sometimes the wife)you can make it work