Some good advice here. I'm married (no kids yet) - wife doesn't surf, but enjoys hanging on the beach. I tried to get her into it...she's cool when it's somewhere tropical and knee-waist high and clean, but doesn't enjoy the east coast wind chop and 55 degree water. Props to her for giving it a shot though.
Anyway, like everyone else said, it's about compromise and understanding what's important to each other. She knows when it's firing, just about anything will get dropped for surfing. However, if it's something that's important to her, I'll usually make it an early morning session so we can do her thing later in the day. So far so good.
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Thread: Marry a surfer?
Oct 16, 2012, 04:00 PM #31Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Capo Beach
Oct 16, 2012, 04:32 PM #32
Hate to rain on the honeymoon, but things may change. At least they did in my case. My wife used to do all sorts of coolness. Took our honeymoon at oualie beach in Nevis and windsurfed the days away. Backcountry turns and yurt trips in northern new Mexico, surf trips to Bocas, mt biking all over the four corners. It was fun while it lasted, then we had kids, now her only hobby is shopping and buying crap we don't need. Oh well. At least my boys are getting old enough to do some real trips up here now. And the dogs will always go anywhere with me...
Oct 16, 2012, 04:34 PM #33
been married to a non-surfer for 23 years. the key is to let her know very early in the relationship how much surfing means to you. If she is cool with that then you are good and if she hates it then you aren't so tied up that you cant bail out.
"She got legit angry with me for surfing and not just sitting on the beach and hangin with her. "
This reminded me of my ex girlfriend, she even once asked what I love more surfing or her. She didn't appreciate my answer "I've been surfing longer" Needless to say that didn't last. I am now happily married. My wife fully supports me surfing and when we got engaged got me a custom surfboard as a "mangagement" present. She understands my need to surf and knows the deal, when we first met, I laid it out for her, and she accepted that is who I am. (just like I accept she is a vegetarian and I eat meat). We've never had a problem, she does want to come on some, but not all surf trips as she does like to park her ass on the beach.
Oct 16, 2012, 05:14 PM #35
i hear ya there pumpmaster. i'm not married but i've been with the same girl for a while. she knows how important surfing is to me, but i still will never live down the time i said "nothing compares to the feeling of riding a wave." she goes "nothing?" i say "ya it's the best" (wrong answer). but at least we can joke about it!
Oct 16, 2012, 05:16 PM #36Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
When my wife and I were dating and it first started getting serious, I would get up in the morning and go paddle out EVEN WHEN IT WAS TOTALLY FLAT. I would just float around a while, disappear for a few hours, just to let her see that this is what it was going to be like and kind of to see how she would react. She needed to know that I would be gone, absent, totally disappear for stretches. She passed the test. Big time.
Eight years on now and she's still passing the test, mostly because she sees now, especially with kids and all, how much happier and more pleasant to be around I am after I get back from the beach.
Oct 16, 2012, 05:40 PM #37
Oct 16, 2012, 08:59 PM #38Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Long Island
My wife doesnt surf but she knows how much it means to me.We now have 19 Month old twin boys and still haven't missed a swell since they were born.When we first found out we were having twins my response was"please dont let me give up surfing" her response ''you can't leave me alone with two babies" but somehow we worked it out.You have to explain to them without it we would be a living corpse.I go out on a dawn patrol when I come back she goes out jogging.The bottom line is no relationship is easy then throw a passion into it where we can't pick and choose when there's a swell but if you love it like I do(surfing sometimes the wife)you can make it work
Oct 16, 2012, 09:18 PM #39
or you can be gay and have sex with dudes in the surf and marry there bleached anus