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  1. #131
    Headed out for dp. Got my white wetsuit, bic longboard with a turbo tunnel and full deck traction. Gonna put on some red zinc and paddle out.

  2. #132
    Does this make the list? Our next breakthrough: Rash guards with webbed armpits to capture wind power.

  3. #133
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Turtle Island
    Sure, who the hell wants to worry about their wallet in the water.

  4. #134
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MD - VA
    Quote Originally Posted by Kahuna Kai View Post
    Whadya bench?
    That was good.

    The NJShredMachine has lifetime dibs on the bench, though.

  5. #135
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Stayin' Classy in San Diego
    Roy Stuart! Wow, the real Roy Stuart?!

    I ain't been this star struck since I mistook Dane Reynolds and his girl for a couple of tourists from PB!
    Welcome to SwellInfo Roy. We’re not like the other people, here on the internets, we’re your friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Stuart View Post
    You have a strange definition of lame then.

    I have a 13 foot board, the Future Primitive 'Ghost' 13 which has been on tour since 2008 and has just arrived in San Francisco from Hawaii, she's a great board and is available to be ridden. Ken 'Skindog' Colins is goinf to have a go in the near future.

    Attachment 6837
    I’d thought I’d felt a disturbance in the Force.

    “You have a strange definition of lame then.” No arguments there. This thread is actually a joke thread. Sadly, the sarcastic nature of the humor has been lost on a few of the people who’ve responded. A lot of good stuff, with practical applications, a great deal of which I’ve purchased myself, made it on here:

    Quote Originally Posted by zaGaffer View Post

    oh sh!1!, I'm outta here. only time I've ever deuced in the line-up : )

    Fins. Damn YOU BOB SIMMONS
    The foam surfboard blank. Surfboards should still all be made of wood and weigh 90lbs.
    Wetsuits. Kook Shirts
    Carnuba Wax
    It’s all very tongue in cheek. Despite rumors to the contrary, not all American comedy (just the really good stuff) consists of d!ck and fart jokes. We also have what’s colloquially known as “bathroom humor”. The pie gag was invented here.

    Some people could find humor in the image of a grown man, with an outlandishly large beard and mane of hair, dressed in a bright orange wet-suit, wearing a white motorcycling helmet, apparently squatting on a giant board in relatively small surf. I am one of those people.


    As it strays from the norms of conventional surfing, the imagery, which taken out of context from the rest of the ride, begs for the comedian. That was all my post was meant to be. A little good natured ribbing and some internet humor amongst friends who frequent a small corner of the surfwebs. Sadly, I don’t get paid to make jokes, so it’s not my strong point, please take it as flattery. After all, you’re an internet celebrity and a world famous surfboard shaper. Once in the public eye, one should expect some satire. Personally, I admire the fact that you march to the beat of your own drum.

    Your prices are in the astronomical range in the context of the main-stream surfing world, but when compared to what’s hanging in the Tate, the price is probably spot-on. I assume that your clientele care a great deal more about the latter than the former. However, being the average, run-of-the-mill surfer, it’s quite easy to poke fun at the half-million dollar surfboard crowd. It’s the same thing as poking fun at a Fisker Karma. They’re both fine products, just not for a hoi-polloi, Good Ol’ Boy like me.

    Personally, I’m all for giant, wooden surfboards. Greg Noll is a surfer and shaper who has influenced me more than anyone else except for the family members who taught me. I can’t think of anyone who has contributed more to the rebirth of the olo and elevating surfboard design and crafting to a high art than Greg Noll. I’ve been watching my father in law restore a vintage Noll board over the last few weeks, a truly fascinating process, much more difficult and time consuming than shaping and glassing a board from scratch. There’s no denying that your boards are works of art and examples of extremely fine craftsmanship. I look forward to the Future Primitive Ghost 13’9” or the infamous Pipeline Challenge Board, as it is more widely known (and more quickly described), making its way to San Diego. Looks like just my kind of ride. Perhaps I will get a chance to find its sweet spot. Having surfed purely by chance with one of its earlier reviewers, at his home break, I’d like to take a crack at it. Being 20 odd years his junior, I think I could give it a go. Prolly not nearly as well as it’s more well known rider, the gentlemen currently surfing Nazaré. Perhaps it will be here on April 25th and I’ll have another excuse to raise a pint (or 3) on that day.

    Last edited by zaGaffer; Jan 28, 2013 at 08:37 PM.

  6. #136
    TURBO TUNNEL! too funny, I bought one as a newbee from the now closed 3rd Ave surf shop-he must have saw me coming a mile away. Besides provoking small talk, the thing did absolutely nothing!

  7. #137
    It's all good Gaffer and thanks for your thoughts.

    I looked at the list of lame surf products posted here and agreed that they were all pretty poor except for the zinc block, in any case I am aware of the humour but don't let that stand in the way of a retort.

    One assumes that you are referring to Garrett, he seems like a good hearted person but unfortunately he rode the board from way too far back, which some beginners do. I explained to him that he should ride from further forward and he replied that he'd be sure to stand further back next time. Lost in translation perhaps, or did he listen to Randy the Snake instead of Roy?

    Turbo tunnels have several design flaws, we prefer half pipe tunnels which are not constricted at the exit.


  8. Quote Originally Posted by Kahuna Kai View Post
    Also lame are miatas w rainbow stickers and white wetsuits. And political correctness
    The offer still stands Kahuna Kai. Evolve.

    Its not about being PC so much as knowing what language is appropriate and where. In other words, not being a d-bag.

    Also 1) rainbow sticker is a reference to gays. 2) Gays and lesbians are already in the lineup.

  9. #139
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Yes, we must all look out for the chips on others' shoulders! This is an ESTEEM issue, people!!!! Only mouth-breathing knuckle draggers who have not evolved don't understand!

    I'm a lesbian, so don't get too close in the lineup--it may wash off on you.

    ....and speaking of which, relating to this thread, BEAVER TAIL WETSUTS.

  10. #140
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    In a state of flux
    I'm a lesbian, so don't get too close in the lineup--it may wash off on you.
    hot lip-stick lesbians are always welcome. unshaven butches are not.

    beaver tails now or originally?