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  1. #141
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    MD - VA
    Posts
    8,130
    The boards that this Kiwi makes are wall hangers, plain & simple. In the water, they're soggy, slow & can't get out of their own way: see a number of tester reviews.

    As for Stuart: the man is a Kiwi who is full of himself, as some of them are, islanders who cling to the inferiority complex of a rejected people who are the modern legacy of the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire, doomed in their island paradise to raising sheep yet generating little hope, producing high-quality mutton but constructing sloppy wooden surfboards from Stuart.

    As for Stuart, the man will talk & talk & talk, talk you to the point where you run for your sanity; he's a tavern oracle, the type that the Irish would say has The Gift, and which modern law enforcement would say has the grift.

    Who is Stuart, one may ask? Well, even a broken clock is (deceptively) right twice a day.

  2. #142
    Yankee you've posted that nonsense on this thread already, so here's the same reply which I posted then.

    Sorry, but Randy is totally wrong, he only rode 6 waves and fell off on four of them.

    Take his comments re. rocker for example, he claims to be a surfboard designer but makes the newbie mistake of saying that the board has extreme rocker when it is in fact on the low to moderate side.

    His comments re. release are just as silly. The tail is a low drag displacement tail, the water is designed to wrap over it and all the release occurs at the pintail.

    There's a lot more BS in there too, but that's enough to be getting on with. Bottom line is that he failed to ride the board as it is designed to be ridden, and failed to realise that this was due to rider error.

    The myth regarding the rocker has been well and truly busted by the way.

  3. #143
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post

    The boards that this Kiwi makes are wall hangers, plain & simple. In the water, they're soggy, slow & can't get out of their own way: see a number of tester reviews.
    Incorrect, the boards are fast, and turn well.

    Would you like me to start posting the list of good rider reviews which I have? It's a bit of a chore but in the interests of truth I'll do it if you'd like to see them.


    As for Stuart: the man is a Kiwi who is full of himself, as some of them are, islanders who cling to the inferiority complex of a rejected people who are the modern legacy of the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire, doomed in their island paradise to raising sheep yet generating little hope, producing high-quality mutton but constructing sloppy wooden surfboards from Stuart.
    You tell him boy...

  4. #144
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Science mother****er
    Posts
    3,548
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    The boards that this Kiwi makes are wall hangers, plain & simple. In the water, they're soggy, slow & can't get out of their own way: see a number of tester reviews.

    As for Stuart: the man is a Kiwi who is full of himself, as some of them are, islanders who cling to the inferiority complex of a rejected people who are the modern legacy of the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire, doomed in their island paradise to raising sheep yet generating little hope, producing high-quality mutton but constructing sloppy wooden surfboards from Stuart.

    As for Stuart, the man will talk & talk & talk, talk you to the point where you run for your sanity; he's a tavern oracle, the type that the Irish would say has The Gift, and which modern law enforcement would say has the grift.

    Who is Stuart, one may ask? Well, even a broken clock is (deceptively) right twice a day.
    I enjoyed this accurate depiction of the throbbing ego known as Roy Stuart.

  5. #145
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Turtle Island
    Posts
    11,885
    Images
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by brewengineer View Post
    I enjoyed this accurate depiction of the throbbing ego known as Roy Stuart.
    As did I, thanks Yankee for providing me with a well needed laugh this morning, you are a wordsmith....the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire...friggin' hilarious!

  6. #146
    Can you rename your surfboard "The Retirement Plan"?

  7. #147
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Where else but TX
    Posts
    57
    Images
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Stuart View Post
    Post them up by all means.
    .
    Sorry for the bad pictures. The boards are about 14 feet up in the air and I almost killed myself hanging them the first time so I just snapped these pics on my phone as I walked out the door this morning.

    So what do you think they are worth. Heck, I might me a millionaire and not even realize it.
    SBoard1.jpgSBoard2.jpgLBoard.jpg

    The first two pics are the same board at a little different angle to show you they actually have rocker and are functional boards, not just planks of wood.

    I'm going to start shopping for my Lambo now!

  8. #148
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kenai Peninsula, Alaska
    Posts
    460
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    The boards that this Kiwi makes are wall hangers, plain & simple. In the water, they're soggy, slow & can't get out of their own way: see a number of tester reviews.

    As for Stuart: the man is a Kiwi who is full of himself, as some of them are, islanders who cling to the inferiority complex of a rejected people who are the modern legacy of the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire, doomed in their island paradise to raising sheep yet generating little hope, producing high-quality mutton but constructing sloppy wooden surfboards from Stuart.

    As for Stuart, the man will talk & talk & talk, talk you to the point where you run for your sanity; he's a tavern oracle, the type that the Irish would say has The Gift, and which modern law enforcement would say has the grift.

    Who is Stuart, one may ask? Well, even a broken clock is (deceptively) right twice a day.
    Yankee, man, I don't get it. How do you generate such strong feelings for the people on this forum? First it was leethestud and now it's roy stuart. I understand that you don't like his boards (or him) but does that really mean you have to badmouth the people of New Zealand?

  9. #149
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,066
    Images
    5
    Those boards are nice but I wouldn't give a penny over $350,000 for the fish. I might go $475,000 on the longboard if you can guarantee it has at least 18 inches of nose rocker.

    Quote Originally Posted by TX Shreddin View Post
    Sorry for the bad pictures. The boards are about 14 feet up in the air and I almost killed myself hanging them the first time so I just snapped these pics on my phone as I walked out the door this morning.

    So what do you think they are worth. Heck, I might me a millionaire and not even realize it.
    SBoard1.jpgSBoard2.jpgLBoard.jpg

    The first two pics are the same board at a little different angle to show you they actually have rocker and are functional boards, not just planks of wood.

    I'm going to start shopping for my Lambo now!
    Last edited by Zippy; Feb 6, 2013 at 04:34 PM.

  10. #150
    News Flash: Roy Stewart gives up on board shaping and designs the worlds newest, latest, greatest bicycle!

    Roy has discovered the way bikes were meant to be ridden. Only kooks, followers and the uninformed would waste their energy pedaling around the current bike designs. These brainwashed people around the world will soon awaken and realize they've been riding the most inefficient, useless design ever thought up. Only the informed class will fall in love with and embrace biking in its purest form.

    MSRP: $450,000.00

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    Oh wait, it was a new no slip bicycle seat he invented.