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  1. #981
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    MD - VA
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    3,225
    Bob Marley's back from the dead & composed a new tune in honor of the shredmachine's test drive, entitled:

    'Easy Plankin'

  2. #982
    plankin it easy.

  3. #983
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Your Mom's Vag
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    1,682
    Plankin it SLOW!

  4. #984
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    wb
    Posts
    1,272
    can some one give me the cliff notes on this thread

  5. #985
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by metard View Post
    can some one give me the cliff notes on this thread
    Roy rules all, he makes the best boards in the world, he is the king of the universe. Roy makes boards that cost $1.4 million. Charles loves Roy. This is the voice in Roy's head.

    Roy posts videos of his board riding straight down the line. Roy hates Randy Rarrick. Roy makes boards that cost $1.4 million. Charles loves Roy. These are facts.

    Those are the Carter notes. Roy's Notes will differ. Read the 99 pages so you can decide for yourself.

  6. #986
    Quote Originally Posted by rcarter View Post
    Roy rules all, he makes the best boards in the world, he is the king of the universe. Roy makes boards that cost $1.4 million. Charles loves Roy. This is the voice in Roy's head.

    Roy posts videos of his board riding straight down the line. Roy hates Randy Rarrick. Roy makes boards that cost $1.4 million. Charles loves Roy. These are facts.

    Those are the Carter notes. Roy's Notes will differ. Read the 99 pages so you can decide for yourself.
    Roy doesn't hate anyone, and he doesn't believe that 'best boards in the world' is a meaningful concept. 'Best' must always be qualified according to the design aims.

  7. #987
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post

    I left my clown hat at home today, does that mean I can't have any fun here in gnomeville?

    .
    We'll give you a hat exemption for the week.

    .

  8. #988
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stayin' Classy in San Diego
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    1,863
    Quote Originally Posted by metard View Post
    can some one give me the cliff notes on this thread
    I assume what you're really asking is, "who is Roy Stuart?"

    Well, there is a guy named Roy Stuart (often confused with the pornographer of the same name who will come up first in google) and he lives in New Zealand.



    He has a big beard and lots of hair.

    He makes surfboards and surfboard kits. He used to make them out of environmentally responsible materials like the paulownia wood that grows all around the house he shares with his wife and twelve chillens, but lately he has delved into the world of foam, plastics and titanium. He charges a LOT of money for the boards, hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars. No one knows if he has ever sold a surfboard for his asking price and Roy is not saying either way. Occasionally, like once or twice a month, he loads up a school bus and takes the fam surfing at some spot called Raglan or something, which was named after a dead guy who ordered a brigade to do something stupid. Well, I guess that was cardigan, either way they're all dead. Not Roy and the fam, Lords Raglan and Cardigan.

    Back in the day Roy would go on Swaylock's or Surfermag and tell people like Wiliam "Stretch" Recht that his boards would work better than their boards in the same conditions, like 3rd reef Pipe or Mavericks.

    http://forum.surfermag.com/forum/ubb...1689032&page=2

    It's not an olo board in the strict sense of the word, it's a longboard gun, and in our opinion will have a good chance of winning the Eddie Aikau memorial big wave competition. - Roy Stuart

    This made some people angry and amused others; after all, there is no record of Roy having ever surfed Mavericks or even setting foot on Oahu. Some people thought that those were some pretty arrogant claims. However, Roy decided to put his money where his mouth was and shipped a board to Hawaii, which is actually pretty darn cool; but not before Swaylocks had banned him for LIFE. Poor, poor SouthJettyBill, I mean Roy. Sorry, there's a whole lotta bannin goin on.

    To date, no one has ever had the guts or according to some, the death wish, to actually try to ride Roy's boards in those kind of conditions. Here's the closest anyone ever came, Garret McNamara at Backdoor on one of Roy's boards, looks like first reef to me:


    However, a few other people rode it, including famed surf photographer Neal Mikaye and surf promoter and board shaper, Randy Rarrick (nice guy, I met him in the line up once):
    http://www.swaylocks.com/groups/13-f...hallenge-board



    Eventually the board made it to California, but not before Roy was threatened with death by the infamous Surf Mafia!!!

    http://www.roystuart.biz/2009/03/dea...er-future.html

    Unfortunately, the board soon exploded at OBSF on an inside sandbar in 8-10' surf. This made ol gaffer sad cause I had hoped to take it for a spin at Swami's when it made its way down here. Since then, it appears that Roy has been very busy making documentaries and delving into the world of 3D printing.

  9. #989
    Thats a pretty honest review. Frame it close the thread we`re done here.

  10. #990
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by KookieMonster View Post
    Thats a pretty honest review. Frame it close the thread we`re done here.
    Agree, nice summation Gaff!