Top Reasons Why This Thing Will Never See The Light of Day:
1. US Navy used it for range practice on Sunday morning.
2. Large bonfire on Folly Beach Road spotted from space station.
3. North Korea demanding blueprints in exchange for cessation of nuke activity.
4. Bearded troll in orange rubber bodysuit seen attempting to steal item while laughing maniacally.
5. The Merrimack historical chapter registered a 'plagiarism complaint' with South Carolina's Attorney General.
6. Every time The Thing is loaded onto a vehicle, the FAA demands a flight registration number.
7. The Spruce Goose is jealous.
8. The US Air Force intend to drop it into the eye of the first hurricane of 2013 as a storm dissipation measure.