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  1. #141
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    304
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    Gnome-de-plume
    Just made my day

  2. #142
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Science mother****er
    Posts
    2,791
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    So, I may be going out on a limb here? But hear me out...

    As several guys have pointed out there have been a couple of opportunities (waves) for 'Steve' to break out his creation & give it the long-awaited test ride. Yet, no report, no 'Steve,' no nada. 'Steve' seems to have gone to ground.

    My creeping suspicion is that 'Steve' is not 'Steve' at all. Despite what ZGaff's respected opinion is re: Steve-from-the-heartland, I'm wondering now if the pics of 'Steve' and his kindling board are photo-shopped by a certain someone & posted on here under a different Gnome-de-plume. Ahem.

    As well, the purported written saga of the South Carolina kindling pile being built had many phrases & turns of the tongue that smacked not of Steve-from-Chicago, but rather a certain stealthy self-promoting asylum escapee Gnome from Hobbitland.

    I wasn't the first to notice this. Other, sharper observers of The Kindling Tales wondered, weeks ago, whether the Gnome is Steve & vice versa.

    Anyways, the only credibility of the product is in a public performance to demonstrate its maker's claims. And when the product fails to support the maker's claims of being able to out-perform most other products, as did the Gnome's bonfire product so brutally fail, then the proof is in the Kiwi chocolate self saucing pudding. Eh, mate...?
    I also wonder what happened to him. He appeared out of nowhere, posted of his crazy build on multiple surf forums, then disappeared without actually showing himself riding it. I tried to be open minded about this, but now it seems suspicious. I think our site owner could tell you for sure if Steve's IP was based out of SC (or even the USA). Kinda sad. I was hoping we had a decent wooden board builder here in the low country.

  3. #143
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    MD - VA
    Posts
    4,049
    Quote Originally Posted by brewengineer View Post
    I also wonder what happened to him. He appeared out of nowhere, posted of his crazy build on multiple surf forums, then disappeared without actually showing himself riding it. I tried to be open minded about this, but now it seems suspicious. I think our site owner could tell you for sure if Steve's IP was based out of SC (or even the USA). Kinda sad. I was hoping we had a decent wooden board builder here in the low country.

    Woulda been nice, agreed. Unfortunately, the entire project may have been Photoshpped by The Techno Gnome.

    I have this unshakeable image of The Gnome, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, sitting in a basement somewhere, fast food wrappers strewn about next to the remains of his mystery protein shake, little bits of filet o' fish stuck in his Methusalah-like facial covering, shrieking maniacally as he pounds away on his sticky keyboard, posting increasing amounts of drivel on the various surfing forums, reaching out to more people than he ever could have reached in pre-Internet days, and then waiting until dusk to make his forays out into the open.
    Last edited by yankee; May 16, 2013 at 12:34 PM.

  4. #144
    If nothing else Roy has ignited passion deep inside you, yankee. He has emboldened your spirit. Your literary prowess shines so brightly with your new muse stimulating you that it's become uncontainable. It's bursting out from within you, a geyser erupting against the pressure of the world around it. Sure roy is hypocritically self righteous and delusional, but just let me bask in the glory of your words and phrases. If roy is a giant smelly turd, you're a compost pile. Taking the trash of the world and turning it into the most precious gift of all, laughter.

  5. #145
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Wilmington
    Posts
    2,340
    You are in stellar form, Yank!

    Brew: I had no idea Steve was posting on multiple forums. Haven't looked at Sway's in a while, I assume that's one of the other forums.... mind outing him?

  6. #146
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Turtle Island
    Posts
    5,332
    Images
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by northendcanyon View Post
    If nothing else Roy has ignited passion deep inside you, yankee. He has emboldened your spirit. Your literary prowess shines so brightly with your new muse stimulating you that it's become uncontainable. It's bursting out from within you, a geyser erupting against the pressure of the world around it. Sure roy is hypocritically self righteous and delusional, but just let me bask in the glory of your words and phrases. If roy is a giant smelly turd, you're a compost pile. Taking the trash of the world and turning it into the most precious gift of all, laughter.
    Well said...when life gives ya lemons.

  7. #147
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Out Killing Gnomes
    Posts
    2,310
    Quote Originally Posted by yankee
    a certain stealthy self-promoting asylum escapee Gnome from Hobbitland.


    This made me laugh my ass off!
    Last edited by rcarter; May 16, 2013 at 01:32 PM.

  8. #148
    You people are pathetic, and should apologise to Steve immediately.

  9. #149
    I find myself more apathetic to be quite honest. You're simply the medium upon which we are witnessing the master work.

  10. #150
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Charleston
    Posts
    1,392
    Images
    8
    Steve, we can put this to bed with a click. I can drive out to N. Chas snap a pic and be done with it.