Roy has such a biiiiig ego. I mean I have a much huger ego than he, but my goodness it's a rare day that I find a man who even comes close to having half my ego size. I'm the like the ego ringer, everyone thinks their ego is the biggest til I show up. I usually bust out of the back of a canyon cavern with salty spray following me like the lip of a giant working against a howling offshore. Wherever I'm going I just set a line on a bomber set and blast the lip into little pieces when I hop out the back and land on land but I never actually dry out, I always have salty water dripping from my locks. And my nipples, they leak saltwater all the time. Makes wearing a shirt a real pain so I walk around shirtless. In the winter I usually catch a macker set south down past Frisco and over winter on the barrier islands digging up sea clams and blue crabs. I share my meals with the birds and they let me know when there's a massive rogue set building up on the shoals so I can get started letting myself drift out there just in time to drop in and ride it all the way back to home base where the birds have started a fire and put some water over it to boil.
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Thread: Ride report by Steve83
Roy let me ask you.... is there anyone that you would accept a negative ride report from? I mean you don't see other surf companies going crazy when a surfer doesn't like their board.
Also, other than from you I have not heard or seen or read any great review on your board.
As for Rarick's review.... I thought it was informative and honest. The only thing that I questioned was why he was dropping in on everyone. lol.
May 15, 2013, 02:44 PM #133
May 15, 2013, 02:44 PM #134
May 15, 2013, 02:46 PM #135Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
this has jumped the shark. can Steve please ride the dang board already!!
May 15, 2013, 03:00 PM #136
So after two weeks what have we learned here? Roy's still a delusional douche and Steve still ain't rode the damn board!
May 15, 2013, 03:04 PM #137
I just watched the vid of Rarick's ride report on Youtube.
Then I read through all of Roy's comments...... jeeeeeeze.
May 15, 2013, 04:57 PM #138
I just watched the vid too. Clearly the coolest feature of Ruoy Stzuewzart's board is the fact that it has to fart every once in a while. Roi, let me suggest you place the "butthole" / air-release valve on the back of your board to allow the rider to attempt to ride the nost without getting a toe stuck in the butthole. However, this rad feature does have me re-contemplating asking for a 500,0000 dollar loan to get my hands on one. Another feature you may think about as an enhancement is putting a whoopie cushion style ballon valve in the "Butthole" so when the board is ready to fart, an actual fart sound is made. Just throwing it out there.
May 15, 2013, 04:59 PM #139
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
- Turtle Island
May 16, 2013, 05:06 AM #140
So, I may be going out on a limb here? But hear me out...
As several guys have pointed out there have been a couple of opportunities (waves) for 'Steve' to break out his creation & give it the long-awaited test ride. Yet, no report, no 'Steve,' no nada. 'Steve' seems to have gone to ground.
My creeping suspicion is that 'Steve' is not 'Steve' at all. Despite what ZGaff's respected opinion is re: Steve-from-the-heartland, I'm wondering now if the pics of 'Steve' and his kindling board are photo-shopped by a certain someone & posted on here under a different Gnome-de-plume. Ahem.
As well, the purported written saga of the South Carolina kindling pile being built had many phrases & turns of the tongue that smacked not of Steve-from-Chicago, but rather a certain stealthy self-promoting asylum escapee Gnome from Hobbitland.
I wasn't the first to notice this. Other, sharper observers of The Kindling Tales wondered, weeks ago, whether the Gnome is Steve & vice versa.
Anyways, the only credibility of the product is in a public performance to demonstrate its maker's claims. And when the product fails to support the maker's claims of being able to out-perform most other products, as did the Gnome's bonfire product so brutally fail, then the proof is in the Kiwi chocolate self saucing pudding. Eh, mate...?
Last edited by yankee; May 16, 2013 at 05:10 AM.