Just slowly paddle up to them, whisper in their ear, "damn that's a good tan", then paddle around them in the smallest circle possible, and then gently massage their shoulders while singing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On". If that doesn't scare the **** out of the tourists then they are way too weird for the water and in that case you should just get the hell out of there.
they are always just sitting there on the best peaks and inside sections on the beach. not one or two but like damn 8 of them. i just wonder why they do it i mean there are a million other waves on the beach they cant tell the difference, i know they have just as much right to the ocean but i mean damn. these are the same people that go in the water and get sucked out in rips.
Just remember you don't owe anybody anything. Go out there on your SUP, sit outside, snag a wave and run 'em all over, make sure you aren't wearing a leash to cause maximum damage. Then head in, smoke a fat jay, drink a case of red bull and bench 8 plates while screwing your girlfriend. Go home, post a thread on SI about how you couldn't believe those people were such idiots for being on your wave so you can get emotional support from other kooks who agree with you. Then you can focus on more important issues like beach replenishment and not getting eaten by a shark. While you are at it, make sure you post a thread asking what the best workout for surfing is because we sure as hell don't have enough of those.
BAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA oh man that **** was hilarious!!! well played !!! KOOK PARADISE !!!
Maybe you should have a knife strapped to you ankle for situations like this- i learned it from a surf movie I once saw-after they drop in and your in the wash- cut thier leash and send thier board to the beach / make them swim in. You don't really even need to say anything...
The knife also comes in handy incase you run into a shark... The shark sees the knife strapped on- they will not mess with you!