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  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by DawnPatrolSUP View Post
    As always, very insightful post. I long for the days where I can do exactly this. "We can have anything we want", this is true but the hard part is figuring out exactly how, without screwing anything up in the process.
    The beauty of getting what we want is the risk in laying it all on the line. If you go half-speed, you'll get caught in the middle and lose as much as you would if you didn't go for it. I accepted long ago that I'm not at all like others, but I know for myself, the greatest possible curse would be the weight of a single regret. That doesn't mean I spend 24/7 flying by the seat of my pants with double six-shooters firing away.

    You can't have it all, but we don't need it all. We can have what we want if our priorities are aligned with our hierarchy of values and we commit to maintaining those priorities to see our wishes through. There are enough larger than life and against all odds stories and examples out there for us to see this is true. Then again, faith is believing in the unseen and your dreams are unseen until they come to pass which they will, lest you fail to maintain faith in yourself.

    DPSUP - Don't worry about screwing anything up. Fears are very good at manifesting themselves as reality. Don't fear, and you won't lose. Play to win. Always. Don't play not to lose. What you learn about yourself and the world along the journey of making calculated risks and overcoming adversity is the true gift. The oceanfront view is just a nice added bonus.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Monmouth County
    Posts
    1,185
    Tough call when family is involved.When parents get old it's nice to be close by to give them a hand.Another thing is whether you guys Like your job.Most people I know hate their job.As much as I love to surf,making sure we have a roof over our head is first.My best advice is listen to your wife.A happy wife is a happy life.
    Last edited by GoodVibes; Jun 19, 2013 at 10:24 PM.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    11,167
    Quote Originally Posted by EmassSpicoli View Post
    The beauty of getting what we want is the risk in laying it all on the line. If you go half-speed, you'll get caught in the middle and lose as much as you would if you didn't go for it. I accepted long ago that I'm not at all like others, but I know for myself, the greatest possible curse would be the weight of a single regret. That doesn't mean I spend 24/7 flying by the seat of my pants with double six-shooters firing away.

    You can't have it all, but we don't need it all. We can have what we want if our priorities are aligned with our hierarchy of values and we commit to maintaining those priorities to see our wishes through. There are enough larger than life and against all odds stories and examples out there for us to see this is true. Then again, faith is believing in the unseen and your dreams are unseen until they come to pass which they will, lest you fail to maintain faith in yourself.

    DPSUP - Don't worry about screwing anything up. Fears are very good at manifesting themselves as reality. Don't fear, and you won't lose. Play to win. Always. Don't play not to lose. What you learn about yourself and the world along the journey of making calculated risks and overcoming adversity is the true gift. The oceanfront view is just a nice added bonus.
    Man, you really have a way with words (no joke), we all busted your balls in the beginning but I respect what you have to say when you put it like this. All good stuff, nothing I didn't know before (I've read lots of success books) but I tend to lose sight of these things when it's my own situation and someone elses. Thanks for the reminder!

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    11,167
    Quote Originally Posted by GoodVibes View Post
    Tough call when family is involved.When parents get old it's nice to be close by to give them a hand.Another thing is whether you you guys Like your job.Most people I know hate their job.As much as I love to surf,making sure we have a roof over or head is first.My best advice is listen to your wife.A happy wife is a happy life.
    Definitely want a happy wife, so it won't happen unless she's on board, therein lies the challenge. Being a couple hours from the parents will still allow us to come by if assistance is needed, plus we have siblings who are still in the area too that can help out in our absence.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    sea level
    Posts
    959
    The fact that you're asking tells me that you're not sure and are very comfortable with your current situation.
    Life isn't about sitting in your comfort zone , it's a journey . The best part about being where I am ( really close to the beach ) 50 years old ish and debt free is that I have had to pass on a few luxuries. While my friends were out buying everything in sight toys, boards, boats, bigger boats and more toys , I kept my eye on the prize .

    The prize is being where I'm at and doing what I do and planning the next chapter. The best part of getting to where you want to be isn't just getting there it's the journey and all the cool things that happen along the way.

    Stop thinking about how much money you make and learn to want what you already have.
    Have a great journey Bro!

  6. #36
    each man has to make his own decision as to what is best for him/herself. I made the choice to move away from the beach to the great city of Philadelphia for a higher paying job. When I turned 30, I felt some internal pressure to get a higher paying job/settle down, etc. After moving, there was a honeymoon period where i did enjoy all of the new cultural opportunities that the city offered. the beach did factor into the decision (heavily) as I chose a job in Philly as opposed to Phoenix based on proximity to the beach. When the honeymoon of the move wore off, it was as if I had lost my best friend. I witnessed myself become easily agitated, had an increase loss of focus, and have been generally unhappy for the past year and a half. Recently caught some fun ones during the Andrea swell (VA) and watched my mentality take a complete 180. The salt water is my therapy for life (fishing, surfing, etc.) Living near the water means everything to me, and I realized that the city was eating away my soul. I have been putting out resumes and all of them have been based on location and proximity to the beach. I was fortunate enough to find a new job (for substantially lower pay) near the ocean. Didn't take much thinking to realize that I needed to make the change for my own personal well-being. Money isn't everything and I hold faith that one day I will find the right set up; As for now, being out of the city and 10 mins to the beach is enough for me.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    11,167
    Quote Originally Posted by antoine View Post
    The fact that you're asking tells me that you're not sure and are very comfortable with your current situation.
    Life isn't about sitting in your comfort zone , it's a journey . The best part about being where I am ( really close to the beach ) 50 years old ish and debt free is that I have had to pass on a few luxuries. While my friends were out buying everything in sight toys, boards, boats, bigger boats and more toys , I kept my eye on the prize .

    The prize is being where I'm at and doing what I do and planning the next chapter. The best part of getting to where you want to be isn't just getting there it's the journey and all the cool things that happen along the way.

    Stop thinking about how much money you make and learn to want what you already have.
    Have a great journey Bro!
    I appreciate the feedback antoine. I actually am 100% sure of what I want, and that is to move 2hrs East. I guess what i'm getting at with this thread is that my wife isn't 100% sold yet. So the question of "should I stay or should I go" is really about her and whether or not I should be content with our current situation to make her happy, or if I should put in the work to convince her that what I want is the best possible solution. Not asking for marital advice, just advice on making my dream a reality. Those who have made this move all agree it was the best thing they ever did, and I believe it, but i'm not the one i'm trying to convince of that.

    At this point, she sees it as more of a selfish move due to me being the one who benefits the most, while she really gets nothing out of it other than making me happy and helping me realize MY dream. Money isn't really my concern either, not really thinking about it like that, as we aren't rich by any stretch of the imagination, not even close, but making enough to survive and have a little left over to still be able to take a vacation here and there would be nice. If we could manage that I think we could come to an agreement.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    11,167
    Quote Originally Posted by chabrah View Post
    each man has to make his own decision as to what is best for him/herself. I made the choice to move away from the beach to the great city of Philadelphia for a higher paying job. When I turned 30, I felt some internal pressure to get a higher paying job/settle down, etc. After moving, there was a honeymoon period where i did enjoy all of the new cultural opportunities that the city offered. the beach did factor into the decision (heavily) as I chose a job in Philly as opposed to Phoenix based on proximity to the beach. When the honeymoon of the move wore off, it was as if I had lost my best friend. I witnessed myself become easily agitated, had an increase loss of focus, and have been generally unhappy for the past year and a half. Recently caught some fun ones during the Andrea swell (VA) and watched my mentality take a complete 180. The salt water is my therapy for life (fishing, surfing, etc.) Living near the water means everything to me, and I realized that the city was eating away my soul. I have been putting out resumes and all of them have been based on location and proximity to the beach. I was fortunate enough to find a new job (for substantially lower pay) near the ocean. Didn't take much thinking to realize that I needed to make the change for my own personal well-being. Money isn't everything and I hold faith that one day I will find the right set up; As for now, being out of the city and 10 mins to the beach is enough for me.
    Thank you for sharing, this is what i'm talking about right here. You've inspired me and I don't even know you, thanks again!

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    11,167
    Thank you everybody for the responses and keeping on topic. I now know what I gotta do, I had an idea before but wanted to see if what I'm wanting to do is selfish and too risky or if it's worth everything it would take to make it happen. It won't be tomorrow or anything but the process is underway. Any other suggestions regarding jobs, relocating, etc. are welcomed.

  10. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by DawnPatrolSUP View Post
    Man, you really have a way with words (no joke), we all busted your balls in the beginning but I respect what you have to say when you put it like this. All good stuff, nothing I didn't know before (I've read lots of success books) but I tend to lose sight of these things when it's my own situation and someone elses. Thanks for the reminder!
    It's all good, brah. Like I said back then, people often criticize what they don't understand. Then we use snap judgments to use the forms of our mental constructs so we can understand that which is different to us. I'm a strange, supernatural mutant of a creature so I'm used to the looks and comments. I often laugh at myself because a couple of the best friends I've ever had were people that on first glance I thought "man, what an idiot." I find that I criticize that which I'm either pissed is a projection of something in myself, or something that I wish I was.

    The introspective reading is very good. I could give you several titles that have been difference makers for me. In the end, it's all repetitive affirmations. Nothing we ever need to know is that complex, we just tend to forget to remember it!

    Tons of good statements and frames of mind on this thread. Props to you for putting yourself out there on the pedestal for honest feedback that everyone seems to be giving in the right ways.

    A couple of things that resonate with me that I've heard so far:
    - Family. It's always first. Without them we are nothing.
    - The good wife. If you got one, and she is the right one, she is your strength. It's a team decision from that point. If you don't have one, don't fill the void with the wrong one, because the one you want is waiting for you to become strong enough for her.
    - Wherever you go, there you are. People migrate to what they need. Sometimes we have no clue that we arrived at the destination we've been dying to get to. It just sometimes looks completely different than what we envisioned. Don't let that filet mignon go bad while you sit there pining away for that 80% lean burger.