My first born got a poor counter type job fresh out of ivy league and said, mom you didn't send me to college for this job. I said, You're right, I sent you to college for an education. Get a room mate and a cheap used car. Fast forward five years,that child now has worked up the corporate ladder and makes good money. Of course we also told that child, Sure you can come home but we will charge you rent. Child said,Why would I come home then. I thought, EXACTLY.
Your parents are not pushing you out of the nest. You will have to throw yourself out there. Go rent an apartment and get on with life! It's anxiety arousing for sure,but also fun and confidence building. It's safer than riding a big wave.
I've already skipped a few rungs on the corporate ladder with the connection I had. That's why it's such a gamble leaving. God I'm sure I sound like a priveleged a**. My parents are well off but not rich, trust me. They're just generous. My father makes all the money and he was a Navy commander, not a CEO or anything.
I agree with both sides here.. If you are truly going to save for a house, I'd stay a little while and do that. If you are going out and blowing cash on nonsense move out. I have a ton of friends that mooched off there parents and never saved a dime. Soon enough they were 30 and starting out like they just got out of school.
Save as if you are paying rent/mortgage. Put a set amount away no matter what, so that you know what it's like to have to com up with it every month. Take the amount it would cost for [rent/car/phone/TV/Electric/food] and put it away every month... Soon enough you can get out on your own and even if you rent you'll have a nice little cushion.
But remember how cool your parents are (seems like you do) and help out as much as possible. If they pay a landscaper, have them stop and mow the lawn. Take out trash and all that good stuff. Make their life easier to repay them for doing the same for you.
BUT, if you are really unhappy and want your own shag pad now go for it. You'll get by and become a responsible man in the process. Or at least you'll get laid a bit (depending on your game).
Ya I'd say nynj nailed it. I'm 24, still semi-living at home, working full time and having a blast. Granted all of my high school friends lacked in the motivation department so I still have lots of buds around (both kinds).
My parents never rented, just lived at home and bought there first house together at 23, so that was always my philosophy going into it. Suck it up and live at home and save $ like it's my job is what I've been told.
Moving into an apartment on your own isn't necessarily going to alleviate the boredom. You make your own fun. Whatever you choose to do you'll be fine!
^ +1. nynj, smart man. there is totally a level of self-satisfaction of getting out and being financially independent though, at least for me. felt like my parents had done enough already! and obviously, the social/romantic aspect improves....
Emass: Get off your high-horse man, it would be much easier to digest the few gems of insight you have randomly placed in your litany of posts on this subject. Your self-felation amazes me, I bet the area around you looks like someone blew up a barrel of yogurt after you post some of that crap.
Suck it. Very little of my posts on this subject have anything to do with me aside from responding to Jerry Sandusky's Nephew saying I sounded like a bitter old man. Me telling a sheltered kid what time it is after says he wants to idyllically and naively join the military hours after making fun of wounded warriors has zero to do with any ego on my part and everything to do with him needing a wake up call.
Feel free to point out where I was riding a high horse on my posts I'm this thread. Would love to debate that with you. There were quite a few societal issues raised in this thread and I'll welcome you to both show how I made myself the focal point of them and also refute them. You'll probably come up with some BS excuse though. Typical.
That's funny, that was almost an hour ago but your little green light next to your name..oh that's right you live in that giant house right on the beach that you bought w/ all the money you made doing who know whatever it is that you do, so it musta been a short sesh. Don't worry, I'll make up for my time in my office(not really a "cubicle cage") tomorrow.
Thanks for the surveillance, Big Brah! Whatever green light you speak of must've been on from having the site open in my phone browser as I was at the break all afternoon. Don't recall saying what size crib I have on the oceanfront or what it's priced at. For all you know, I could we swinging between two fence posts on a Nicaraguan hammock overlooking the water and just sleeping in my wetty. Glad to hear your cage is larger, so much room for activities in there!
F'in A Emass, what happened man? You came out cold, talking about bringing your beginner friend into some miracle 10'+, jetty-created surf on a day when nowhere else in New England was above 3', fought through the attacks and really (no sarcasm here) dropped some gem posts that were insightful and well-thought, and now you go off on this thread like this? I'm so disappointed, you were climbing the ranks of the SI posters for me.
I'm from the generation you seem to harbor so much dislike for. And man, Emass, as someone who works his a** off for everything I have, I think you're making some strong generalizations that maybe you, as someone who is neither part of the generation you are so readily trashing, nor has a child in that one to provide a solid look into (I assume you don't, unless you were getting after the d*** thang far younger than I), aren't in the best position to make, and I, respectfully of course, agree that you should get off your freaking high horse. You asked for your examples? Let's start here:
Originally Posted by EmassSpicoli
Son, I'm early 30s and one of the most optimistic, content people out there. You don't know a damn thing about me. Or the world it seems. So reserve comment on others' lives until you begin to live yours.
Your "generation in general" sucks. Partly due to improper rearing by nuclear home and society (improper meaning suppression and inhibiting personal growth), and partly due to a rampant void or resilience, ambition, autonomy, and relentlessness pursuit of goal achievement in the face of adversity. Focus less on the consortium of peers that are crying victim like you and just go make it happen no matter what stands in your way.
Come on man. No high horse there?
And for the record, I'm not in anyway positing that we have it harder than previous generations, as you seem to insinuate that I, as a member of my generation, must think I do. I'm grateful for what I had,and work my tail off to try to find more. But please, don't turn into the crotchety old man talking down at younger generations already - you're in your early 30s! How bad will it be when you're 70?
Back in Emass' day, they had to walk 15 miles, through the snow, both ways, to take their friends out for a nice 10' drop onto a jetty.
Last edited by newenglandflatness; Jun 29, 2013 at 01:08 AM.
Reason: I'm a lazy typist
NEF - The words "generation in general" were quoted because the OP gnat used those himself to lament the shackles that this country has placed on him and his peers. They weren't put in between apostrophes to point the finger across a whole sub-culture in a "you people" type of way (anyone seen Anger Management? great scene). You threw yourself into the "accused" category, I did not. And when I speak about a generation or a culture, it's in a "some" or "most" capacity. It would be ignorant to say "all" and I never did or implied it. If what you say is true and that you aren't typical of a lot of those you grew up with, then you should be content in that and not be bothered by any of this.
Part of what I've done for years is help your generation get more opportunities in their lives, so I think I can have an educated opinion in what opportunities they have, what they are up against, and how well the adapt to the obstacles. I've gone to great lengths to help those in your generation and will continue to. Why? Because I believe in peoples' intrinsic good and strength. That matters little though, as we are what we think and until they believe in their good and strength they won't turn the corner.
I'd say it's affecting me that you're so disappointed that I was the dark horse that rose swiftly through the Top 25 Poll only to fall from the voters' graces, but all I've really every got from you on this forum is somewhat similar garbage that's so breaking your heart about me for. I come on here a few months ago being honest about an incident I had in the water with a friend and it's the band of brothers coming out of the wood work to rip me a new one over and over. SUP comes on here this week and humbly asks for adult advice from many like peers on here and got mostly a great and authentic response from this whole forum (including me). [insert dependent adult's name here] comes on after his grand military performance and asks why he's ungrateful for being spoon fed only the finest his whole life, yet I'm wrong for telling him exactly why he's unhappy and ungrateful.
The fact that I'm supposed to take this kid out for ice cream and call him "Champ" when he, as the son of a naval commander, ridicules wounded veterans, then throws a shot my way about my life is further proof of what's wrong with cause and effect in the current society. Would love to know how many of the mouthier characters on here come from gated communities and then how many have set foot in a Boys Club or YMCA during their adolescence. I told the kid to stop be a pissing and moaning beta and get out and exercise his true nature which is to adapt and enjoy the growth very much.
If you or anyone has issues with the accuracy of my statements, I'd enjoy further discourse and making it personal prevents it from being a viable debate.
High horse, emass, high horse. No one can ever say anything remotely contradictory toward you. I offered that as a good-natured post about how you shouldn't generalize. And please, don't send me another 6 paragraph PM explaining how you feel when I say anything contradictory toward you. Find some humor in life.
And if you'll recall the original thread in question, I wasn't one blasting you at all. While I admittedly questioned your wave scale, I, as YOU asked, offered a similar experience, and said it sounded like you'd learned, and that it would be a good experience to look back on going forward. Don't turn this into a you against the world situation, AGAIN.
You're a smart guy, clearly, so I look forward to some more ad nauseum holier-than-thou rhetoric on the subject.