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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Charleston
    Posts
    1,265
    Images
    8

    Emass: Most Prolific Poster?

    A self proclaimed grom, who is in his middle 30's, came on to the scene in April 2013 and already is nearing 800 posts. His post per day rate is over 7 and we have news from the NE that he buys more keyboards than he does surfboards. We've seen many sides of this man and only lately is he keeping up with his Spiccoli namesake. April and May were full of longwinded diatribes of days that would range from 3' to 9' in minutes full of peril for his athletic friends. The only thing more dangerous than surfing with this man was disagreeing with him on the forum.

    He soon found his place on SI and now attempts more humor than harm. He is able to type in multiple different dialects of surf lingo and has more bros than a Duggar. We know this and more but who is this man and is he the most prolific poster?


    Discuss....

  2. #2
    Talk amongst yourselves!!!

  3. #3
    promise

    ok will do

    thank you

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    MD - VA
    Posts
    3,313
    Well....reading the emass posts beats reading the gnome's posts.

    And, hmmm, emass has toned down the Defcon 5 Amber Alert responses to guys who ping him.

    And, it's true, as of late, he hasn't tried to lead anyone out in 8' or even 23' rollers, to the best of anyone's knowledge.

    I say turn him LOOSE on the shredmachine aka njplayerforevah.
    UNLEASH the true potential of his keyboard pounding alter ego, sitting, there, on the front porch of his surf cottage, under the visage of almighty Thoreau, a can of baked beans spooned up, watching his waves, awaiting his moment of surf kingdom come!! which is, namely, when he posts up on noswellinfo.com in all his regal glorified MIGHTY MIGHTY!!

    Eh. We've seen a lot worse.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    504
    Imagine if SwellInfo was Congress and Emass was filibustering. Might even give Strom Thurman a run for his money.

    I don't know about y'all, but the time allotted for me to respond is limited on the work computer. This leads me to pose the question, "are you guys typing this up on a Word document". Seriously, I get too busy a lot of times and that would be the only way. When I see these long responses, it reminds me of the premise (as I have mentioned before) to Patton Oswalt in the movie Big Fan. Not familiar with it? Google it or compare it to this forum.

    Who is the Quantrell Bishop of Swell Info? Who is the Philadelphia Phil? This in itself could breed a new thread.
    Last edited by KillaKiel; Jul 19, 2013 at 10:27 PM. Reason: Does that look better...

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by KillaKiel View Post
    Imagine if SwellInfo was Congress and Emass was filibustering. Might even give Strom Thurman a run for his money.

    I don't know about y'all, but the time allotted for me to respond is limited on the work computer. This leads me to pose the question, "are you guys typing this up on a Word document". Seriously, I get too busy a lot of times and that would be the only way. When I see these long responses, it reminds me of the premise (as I have mentioned before) to Patton Oswalt in the movie Big Fan. Not familiar with it? Google it or compare it to this forum.

    Who is the Quantrell Bishop of Swell Info? Who is the Philadelphia Phil? This in itself could breed a new thread.

    fingers of fury!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stayin' Classy in San Diego
    Posts
    1,940
    Who?

    Strikes me as one of those people who while you're saying something is immediately thinking about what he's going to say rather than really listening.

    . . - _
    . . ~ . ~ - ~ . = . ~
    ~ ~ __.---~~_~~_~~_~~_~ ~ ~~_~~~
    . . .-' ` . ~_ = ~ _ = . ~ . ~
    .' `. ~ - = ~ - _ ~ `
    ~ . }` = - _ ~ - . ~ ` = ~ _ . ~
    }` . ~ = ~ = ~ - ~ - _
    . } ~ .__,_O ` ~ _ ~ ^ ~ -
    `}` - = /#/`-' - ~ = ~ _ ~
    ~ . } ~ - |^\ _ ~ _ - ~ -_ = _
    }` _____ /_ /____ - ~ _ ~ _
    jgs }` `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`_ = _ ~ -
    _ _ _ }` `. ~ . - _ = ~. ~ = . - =


    Last edited by zaGaffer; Jul 20, 2013 at 07:49 PM.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    confederate states of america
    Posts
    1,387
    Images
    4
    idk yall i mean he posts like hes writing a book i get though a paragraph or two and my eyes hurt lol. but i mean all 30 year old groms with 13ft longboards should be stoked on ankle biters jp. i guess he means well and is just really looking for surfing guidance and i respect that.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by sandblasters View Post
    idk yall i mean he posts like hes writing a book i get though a paragraph or two and my eyes hurt lol. but i mean all 30 year old groms with 13ft longboards should be stoked on ankle biters jp. i guess he means well and is just really looking for surfing guidance and i respect that.
    Ho braddah man!!! My posts been truncated by miles fo da last few weeks! Way mo easy on da eyes!

    No 13 footers under these footies. Maybe half dat length at most!! Rockin da 5-10s now!!! Neva go mo den 7 somethin eva!!!! Longboard = wrongboard!!!

    BTW...tanks fo da service brah!!!

  10. #10
    Words! Words!