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  1. #131
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stayin' Classy in San Diego
    Posts
    1,873
    Hey emass, I'm pretty sure nobody idolizes me and I ain't no swami of the west, although I have surfed there. Kookfest.
    You're thinking of this guy:


    I mostly just try not to follow this guy's act:


    Someone on this forum once did me the favor of saying,
    "ZaGaffer is the biggest piece of trash on this site. Look at every single discussion thread and I guarantee this idiot is on there somewhere trying to act like he is Kelly Slater, gifting all of us with his presence. Bro, you clearly have no life as you post essay length replies to every single thread on the site. You spend more time talking about surfing on a website than you do actually surfing...and you live in San Diego. I also guarantee you surf like Tourmaline everyday and Blacks "is just too scary for you and your longboard" "Dont come on this board and ask"? Who do you think you are man? I also would bet you live on the east side of 5 with all the other high sock, straight brim, low life's riding around on dirt bikes. Kill yourself"

    He was right about one thing, I'm a not a nice person; but I work on that.

    But, I do think of a lot of the people on this forum as genuine friends. Admittedly, I don't really know em, but what difference does that make?
    Last edited by zaGaffer; Jul 27, 2013 at 08:41 PM.

  2. #132
    Quote Originally Posted by zaGaffer View Post
    I have no problem with your enthusiasm, I caught my first wave 29 years ago as of this summer and grew up on the Pacific Ocean. I’ve built a life around surfing, I live minutes from some of the best breaks in North America, I chose my college not for its curricula vitae but for its proximity to waves, I'm lucky enough to have a job that I get to pick my own hours, I married a shaper’s only daughter at the cliffs above Black’s Beach and I surf as much as I can. We all have stoke and enthusiasm, otherwise we wouldn’t do this year after year after year. It’s not your stoke or buffoonery that I mind, it's comments like the above that I have a problem with.

    They make goggles and sunglasses designed specifically for surfing. Did you know that?
    More to the point, how much heavy water have you even actually been in, you've only been surfing the East Coast since February? Do you really think that you know what heavy water is? As an example, the pictures of the May swell hitting the Wedge, that’s what an 8-10’ wave looks like when it hits a jetty. I surfed that swell at Trestles as it peaked at 5’ at 18S, 45 minutes South of where those pictures were taken and better exposed to that swell’s direction. It was solid OH, but I would not call it heavy. What they call legit 6’ in HI.

    It makes me wonder about the validity of all of your claims. If you're this wrong about all the things you post about surfing, what does it say about the legitimacy of your other posts? Perhaps all of your posts are wrong, I don’t know enough about kinesiology or nutrition to make that judgment. But, I do know a thing or two about surfing, enough to know that you post misinformation about it as fact. It makes me think that you’re equally misinformed about these other subjects as well.

    It’s stuff like somehow you're qualified to comment on a wetsuit thread, even though you've never worn out a wetsuit, you’re still on your first! You’ve only ever owned one brand! There are guys on here, myself included, who buy a new wetsuit every season. Not because I want to, but because the knee pads fall apart and the seams split from overuse, the rubber’s fine (Quicksilver Cypher 2012 rinsed every use and never peed in : P, before everybody jumps down my throat for buying cheap rubber). Now I’m on a Ripcurl F-Bomb. I have no idea what wetsuit is the best, the tech changes all the time. The wetsuits I was wearing 10 years ago are nothing like the suits today. That’s why I don’t comment on wetsuit threads, cause I know enough to know I don’t know enough. Also, cause out here we only wear 3/2’s or maybe a 4/3 at most if you get chilly easily.

    Or how about this classic vignette, “Rockin da 5-10s now!!! Neva go mo den 7 somethin eva!!!! Longboard = wrongboard!!!” There are so many reasons to own boards over 7’ and not every board over 7’ feet is a longboard. My guns are 7’6”or bigger, I use them in heavy water. Someday, if you stick with surfing, you’ll have to admit how wrong you are about this one. And, at your weight and height a 5’10” fish is nothing to crow about. I’m 6’2” and weighed 194 this morning. The last RNF I owned was a 5’10”. WHOOPEE. How big or short your board is means nothing, it’s how you ride it.

    How can you comment on surfboard build threads, even though you’ve never put planer to foam? Shape a board before you knock someone else’s efforts. Then after you’ve shaped your first board, try glassing it. That’s when the fun really starts.

    Or my favorite, "I can't stand sitting on my board, I just think it's tacky and lazy." You know why you sit on your board, even though it causes problems with your lower back and neck (there’s actually a trick to ease both, just make sure that the boards nose is below the tail and not the other way around, makes you sit up straight and prevents you from slouching)? It’s so you can see how the waves will break when they get to you, even though they’re just little rollers a few hundred yards off when you first spy them. It’s something experienced surfers do so that they can be in the right place at the right time. You can’t do that lying on your stomach, you won’t see past the waves closest to you. I read that and thought, I bet it’s actually because he can’t really do it properly, sit on the board that is. It’s a skill acquired with time and experience. At some point it becomes something you take for granted, but we all remember slipping and sliding all over the place when we learned.

    Your knowledge of surfing is woefully inadequate, but that's okay, there's no shame in admitting that you're not an expert on something that you're a beginner at. However, you provide misleading information to those who don’t know any better and present yourself as if you're an authority and there are lot of people on this forum, especially during the summer, who don’t know any better. You’re doing them a disservice.

    Perhaps you should just sit back and listen and learn first. I’ve practiced Jun Fan JKD and Vale Tudo under one of Dan Inosanto’s instructors for about a decade now. They’ve taught me humility, respect, to never underestimate anything, that I don’t know everything and that there is no shame in that and most importantly that there is no way to master anything, there is only repetition. Would you ever walk into a dojo and act like you have on this forum? Why would you not treat surfing and as an extension, this forum the same way?

    “Your ego is not your amigo.”

    Thank you Z Gaff

    And I def consider you as a friend, too brother.
    Last edited by Koki Barrels; Jul 27, 2013 at 10:35 PM.

  3. #133
    Quote Originally Posted by EmassSpicoli View Post
    Haha this is comical. What beginners have I ridiculed? Pot calling the kettle black son. 95% of what I got when I came here was ridicule. The majority of this board tears apart "kooks" as you call all of them as soon as they surface and ask a question, unless they're female then you're holding doors and pulling out chairs for them. I can count on one hand the people I rip on: BCN for disrespectful commentary towards wounded warriors which should not be condoned by any of you, and then the couple of posters who go out of their way to rip on me first.

    There are more than a dozen forum members I now correspond with regularly. Some of them are mainly giving me very helpful advice, others we discuss New England breaks and conditions, some have messages me to ask why I like a board that I ride or with regard to fitness and training, and there's one I even discuss good books to read with.

    If the admin wants to ban me that's his prerogative and I'll accept and respect it. Why? Because he owns the effin joint. Few on this board pay any rent to him and if you do, it's still a drop in the bucket for his budget and wouldn't excuse any damage to his website's repute and profitability. There are some posters on here that do nothing but belittle others unless you're talking about things like hops and barley which makes them perk up and forget how poor their general disposition is.

    Gaffer, aren't you one of the ones that chastised my extended posts and said you were too busy and disinterested to read them? Well I scrolled by your soliloquy in the same fashion and got blisters on my thumb in the process. I did see your line about ego since it was quoted in later posts by others. Awful ironic that the self-proclaimed west coast swami projects his issues on others. I've tried to throw good nature your way and thanks for some of your knowledgable posts but it was returned to sender. That's fine. It's amusing to watch you pout and go silent for days at a time when the mic isn't in your hands and you're not center stage. I'll read your post one of the next times I'm on the hopper.

    I'm curious why do you guys get so amped up about what I have to say? It's a fact that most to nearly all of what others think, say, and do is because of them and not those external. What in yourselves are you ashamed or lacking in content with, or who in your past has wronged you that my words cast a similar shadow to? Is it my stoke that makes you pissed off that you lost yours a while ago? Is it the freedom and flexibility that I've worked for years to have that allows me to dedicate much of my time to surfing better when your ball and chain keeps you down from the weight of your Honey-Do list? Whatever it is, I probably have nothing to do with it and as far as I know, I've never wronged you since I've never met you and don't know a thing about you except your avatars and forum names.

    For the guys that primarily lurk, you can stay under your rock as you're basically takers and not equal givers on this forum. Not saying I make this world go round here though I do contribute and amount to at least a neutral karmic balance. Lone Star buoy, it's unfortunate I rained on your parade and you take the lower road and typecast a whole state. I do it in jest with Jersey but you seem to actually mean it. I love Texas and Texans and spent a few years there after visiting for nearly a decade. The whole state is great and all of its people, although Austin is infested with non-native transplants who've vastly changed the complexion of what those who've never visited "hear it's a really cool place". While not exclusive to California transplants, they make up the majority of judgmental folk after migrating there for the recession-proof economy and house in the hills at 1/3 the cost of those in their previous gutter state with taxation to the tune of 48%. Not a blanket statement, but one based on years of empirical evidence.

    I've made it no secret at any point as to the newness of my surfing endeavors. Instead, I've actually done what you wish all former beginners (and some in the lineup for years) had done which is heavily research surfing etiquette, technique, oceanography and culture on their way to continued progress and therefore, functionality in the lineup and on shores. Looking at my one paragraph summary of the running jokes on SI, it's easy to observe my humility by my naming a dozen of the things I've been chided about. After being told by a majority of those who are still opposed to me that banter or hazing on here is meant in jest and should be taken with a grain of salt, I typically laugh off any further persecution. At times I'll still fire back when it crosses the line but it's with wit and not psychotic rage. I'll check ego at the door, but I'm keeping my self-respect wherever I go.

    We've got posters on here making fun of handicapped veterans that fought for their freedom, others who are threatening people with knives and assault with deadly weapons (which they actually seem serious about!), yet some of them are the ones campaigning for the banning of others. Like I said before, pulling that move smacks of the kid who used to talk trash about your mother until you cracked him in the grill, then he had his mother go and sue you. Gutless.

    What is it that you guys want me to post? Make up your minds. You yawn at my previous novels (that some actually commend) yet piss and moan when I shorten them to a few sentences. You tell me to be less serious but then freak out when I engage in the constant comedy on this forum. You told me I was too analytical and committed when I'm sure some of you wish you had the same mojo that I have for anything I ever focus on. You concern yourselves with my circadian rhythms and time of posting, what I eat for dinner and where I eat it, and the list goes on. Me thinks you'll never be happy because this has little if anything to do with me. No extrovert in history has ever been liked or approved of by all. Simply because they're too different from the majority and human nature is to judge and fear what they don't understand. Extroverts are instead subject to a polarity of proponents and opponents, typically equal in number. For every hater on SI, I've got at least one other pissing their pants in laughter (or shotting their wetsuit) or thanking me for a post.

    Yeah, this post is a throwback to my longer ones, but you guys asked for it and provoked a response. It's not me firing back at you with anger. It's more a suggestion for an open mind and to both look at all the facts and yourselves. Do you and I'll do me. I won't get in the way of you doing you, and I'll keep doing me because it serves me quite well. I'm having a blast with surfing and getting to a fairly competent level at a consistent pace. Enjoy your weekend buoys. Hope you score some stoke in the sea.
    are your fingers on crack cocaine?

  4. #134
    Quote Originally Posted by zaGaffer View Post
    I have no problem with your enthusiasm, I caught my first wave 29 years ago as of this summer and grew up on the Pacific Ocean. Iíve built a life around surfing, I live minutes from some of the best breaks in North America, I chose my college not for its curricula vitae but for its proximity to waves, I'm lucky enough to have a job that I get to pick my own hours, I married a shaperís only daughter at the cliffs above Blackís Beach and I surf as much as I can. We all have stoke and enthusiasm, otherwise we wouldnít do this year after year after year. Itís not your stoke or buffoonery that I mind, it's comments like the above that I have a problem with.

    They make goggles and sunglasses designed specifically for surfing. Did you know that?
    More to the point, how much heavy water have you even actually been in, you've only been surfing the East Coast since February? Do you really think that you know what heavy water is? As an example, the pictures of the May swell hitting the Wedge, thatís what an 8-10í wave looks like when it hits a jetty. I surfed that swell at Trestles as it peaked at 5í at 18S, 45 minutes South of where those pictures were taken and better exposed to that swellís direction. It was solid OH, but I would not call it heavy. What they call legit 6í in HI.

    It makes me wonder about the validity of all of your claims. If you're this wrong about all the things you post about surfing, what does it say about the legitimacy of your other posts? Perhaps all of your posts are wrong, I donít know enough about kinesiology or nutrition to make that judgment. But, I do know a thing or two about surfing, enough to know that you post misinformation about it as fact. It makes me think that youíre equally misinformed about these other subjects as well.

    Itís stuff like somehow you're qualified to comment on a wetsuit thread, even though you've never worn out a wetsuit, youíre still on your first! Youíve only ever owned one brand! There are guys on here, myself included, who buy a new wetsuit every season. Not because I want to, but because the knee pads fall apart and the seams split from overuse, the rubberís fine (Quicksilver Cypher 2012 rinsed every use and never peed in : P, before everybody jumps down my throat for buying cheap rubber). Now Iím on a Ripcurl F-Bomb. I have no idea what wetsuit is the best, the tech changes all the time. The wetsuits I was wearing 10 years ago are nothing like the suits today. Thatís why I donít comment on wetsuit threads, cause I know enough to know I donít know enough. Also, cause out here we only wear 3/2ís or maybe a 4/3 at most if you get chilly easily.

    Or how about this classic vignette, ďRockin da 5-10s now!!! Neva go mo den 7 somethin eva!!!! Longboard = wrongboard!!!Ē There are so many reasons to own boards over 7í and not every board over 7í feet is a longboard. My guns are 7í6Ēor bigger, I use them in heavy water. Someday, if you stick with surfing, youíll have to admit how wrong you are about this one. And, at your weight and height a 5í10Ē fish is nothing to crow about. Iím 6í2Ē and weighed 194 this morning. The last RNF I owned was a 5í10Ē. WHOOPEE. How big or short your board is means nothing, itís how you ride it.

    How can you comment on surfboard build threads, even though youíve never put planer to foam? Shape a board before you knock someone elseís efforts. Then after youíve shaped your first board, try glassing it. Thatís when the fun really starts.

    Or my favorite, "I can't stand sitting on my board, I just think it's tacky and lazy." You know why you sit on your board, even though it causes problems with your lower back and neck (thereís actually a trick to ease both, just make sure that the boards nose is below the tail and not the other way around, makes you sit up straight and prevents you from slouching)? Itís so you can see how the waves will break when they get to you, even though theyíre just little rollers a few hundred yards off when you first spy them. Itís something experienced surfers do so that they can be in the right place at the right time. You canít do that lying on your stomach, you wonít see past the waves closest to you. I read that and thought, I bet itís actually because he canít really do it properly, sit on the board that is. Itís a skill acquired with time and experience. At some point it becomes something you take for granted, but we all remember slipping and sliding all over the place when we learned.

    Your knowledge of surfing is woefully inadequate, but that's okay, there's no shame in admitting that you're not an expert on something that you're a beginner at. However, you provide misleading information to those who donít know any better and present yourself as if you're an authority and there are lot of people on this forum, especially during the summer, who donít know any better. Youíre doing them a disservice.

    Perhaps you should just sit back and listen and learn first. Iíve practiced Jun Fan JKD and Vale Tudo under one of Dan Inosantoís instructors for about a decade now. Theyíve taught me humility, respect, to never underestimate anything, that I donít know everything and that there is no shame in that and most importantly that there is no way to master anything, there is only repetition. Would you ever walk into a dojo and act like you have on this forum? Why would you not treat surfing and as an extension, this forum the same way?

    ďYour ego is not your amigo.Ē
    I always wondered "who listens to the guys who have more posts on SI than waves ridden in their life?"

  5. #135
    Quote Originally Posted by JTS View Post
    I always wondered "who listens to the guys who have more posts on SI than waves ridden in their life?"
    Apparently more than you'd like to think. My wave count is getting up there. The first several hundred weren't very long rides but they're good & plenty now brah! Close to even with posts now.

  6. #136
    Gaffer, I'm loungin from 4hrs of driving in the last 10 with 3hrs of surfing in between that so I'll have to shelf your latest love letter (along with your other autobiography I've yet to peruse) for that next trip to the throne. I crushed a huge brunch in between sessions today so I should be hitting the john soon. Will let you know if I get to your manifestos if I don't pick up the issue of Field & Stream instead.

  7. #137
    Quote Originally Posted by Koki Barrels View Post
    are your fingers on crack cocaine?
    Ya brah, that futile one-liner makes about as much sense as a mesh umbrella and fireproof matches. Keep persevering though, your comedy and sarcasm can only go up from here.

  8. #138
    Quote Originally Posted by rcarter View Post
    Okay Douche!
    You're quick, and clever. Maybe you can start a secret society called DENSA where the selectivity is high, with qualifying IQ between 66-74 (roughly half of MENSA requirements for your half of a brain).

  9. #139
    this thread is awesome. I'm not going to read any of this sh*t, but it's awesome to just look at. Like staring out to sea, so much... of nothing.

  10. #140
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    herd of cats, usa
    Posts
    170
    what a waste of server space.

    anybody surf RI last night? magical. rainbows, sunset, newport bridge lit up in the background. i shed a tear. i salute all of you who shared this moment with me.