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  1. #1

    The DRUNKEST thing you do

    Let's hear it boys. The drunkest thing I do is post on this board and talk about snaking groms on 23 footers daily.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Science mother****er
    Posts
    2,504
    I once got blackout drunk and went to a house party. The house was being rented by some ultimate fighter dudes that knew a close friend of mine. I was staggering through the house looking for a bathroom, when I found a pair of their gloves. I decided to put the gloves on and walk around the party sucker punching people. One of the fighter dudes saw me and offered to box. Since I was a drunk idiot, I said sure. At the count of 3, we went at it. I threw the first punch, and he easily blocked it. Next thing I know, I am getting up off the ground. Guess he clobbered me a few times and put me down. I shook his hand and thanked him for the new experience. I later ended up chugging tequila with some other random people. I woke up the next morning with the sun in my eyes and no clue where I was. I somehow blacked out, stumbled down the street, fell down a steep hill full of poison ivy, and ended up sleeping on some random porch a few blocks away. I was lucky the people just let me sleep and didn't call the cops. Ah college...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Long branch
    Posts
    570
    I have many, but one that comes to mind may not be appropriate but i'll tell it anyway.

    it all started at a surprise 21st birthday party at a friend's house. a couple of hours after the surprise we all went to the bar. the birthday girl and I were doing shots of mind erasers and got totally inebriated. when the bar closed we realized that everyone left without us. so we walked to my house and I stole my dad's car and drove back to my friend's house. how I didn't get pulled over is shocking seeing I was going 10 miles an hour swerving from one lane to the other for two miles.

    when we got there, the birthday girl and I got it on in the car. after we were done we went to the door and it was locked and no one answered the doorbell. I decided to run around to the back of the house and see if the patio door was locked.

    halfway around the house i realized I had to pee really bad. so I stopped, dropped my shorts and started to pee. initially I was soooo relieved but then noticed I didn't hear my pee hitting the ground. I looked down and saw that I still had the condom on and it was filled to the size of a cantaloupe. hahahahaha aww man young and dumb.

  4. #4
    Hahahahaha those were great stories guys. Had me rollin lol

  5. #5
    I woke up the next morning to find myself next to a woman who I have never seen before and a terrible red stain on mystach and ya know ... Some of my buddies told me that she is referred to as man bear pig, supposedly half man half bear half pig or something.. I immediately went to the teen clinic to get tested and all came back negative which was good. The sad part is that I can't remember a single thing not even meeting her.

    Guys learn from my mistake.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Hammonton, NJ
    Posts
    1,557
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    7
    Passed out on 6th St in Camden, NJ. Bad neighborhood and I was very pretty and very vulnerable.

    Lost my car in Center City, Philadelphia. Was so drunk I was just falling face first onto the ground. Broke my nose, messed up my back.......Spent hours hobbling around the downtown area trying to find my car. I was bent over in pain and would manage six or seven steps then I had to sit on someone's porch steps for a moment. I "walked" around like that for hours. Completely disoriented. Good times....good times

    Got arrested......got arrested again.......got arrested again.

    By the way, everyone's blacked-out, totally drunk sex stories are fabrication. Alcohol is a depressant that renders the male sex organ useless when certain levels of intoxication are reached. So they either weren't as drunk as they claim or they are fibbing aboot intercourse. Your pen!s don't work when you can't stand. Plus, alcohol is not a good intercourse substance. Try cocaine, meth, or ectasy. Your welcome. Though, in good conscience I implore you to be good capitalists and remain drug free.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    4,186
    Quote Originally Posted by brewengineer View Post
    I once got blackout drunk and went to a house party. The house was being rented by some ultimate fighter dudes that knew a close friend of mine. I was staggering through the house looking for a bathroom, when I found a pair of their gloves. I decided to put the gloves on and walk around the party sucker punching people. One of the fighter dudes saw me and offered to box. Since I was a drunk idiot, I said sure. At the count of 3, we went at it. I threw the first punch, and he easily blocked it. Next thing I know, I am getting up off the ground. Guess he clobbered me a few times and put me down. I shook his hand and thanked him for the new experience. I later ended up chugging tequila with some other random people. I woke up the next morning with the sun in my eyes and no clue where I was. I somehow blacked out, stumbled down the street, fell down a steep hill full of poison ivy, and ended up sleeping on some random porch a few blocks away. I was lucky the people just let me sleep and didn't call the cops. Ah college...
    Liquid courage makes us do dumb things don't it? HAHA

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    31
    I was only nineteen when this happened. Out for a friends going away party bar hopping. When we got to the second bar, I was asked for ID and then quizzed by the bouncer at the door. The only question I got wrong was my birth sign from the fake ID. I asked if I could have my ID back and the bouncer said if I wanted it back, I would need to go ask the two police officers for it. Since I was already drunk I figured I would try my luck with the officers.

    So the officers went and talked to the bouncer and took my fake ID from him.(It was a real ID, it just was not my picture on it.) The officers called in the license to make sure it was real all the while quizzing me. After about 15 mins of this, the call came back that the license was real. Now for the interesting part, on the license, there was just a middle initial and I did not know my friend's middle name as I had only known him for a couple of weeks. (I bought his license for $25). The middle initial was an A and I was trying to think of a name that started with A. As I had three friends with the name Adam, I decided to go with that. The officers thanked me for providing the correct name and gave me back the fake ID. They also walked me over to the bar and told the bouncer that I was ok to enter the bar. Bouncer gave me a dirty look on the way in and I made sure to thank him for wasting my time.

  9. #9
    Winter '83. College. Nashville TN.

    Late night return from a Drag/Punk costume party. Dressed as the sleaziest crack whore in the South, yours truly needs to piss. Pull my mini skirt up, pull my panty hose down. While spraying down a tree, Popo shows up.

    Chase ensues...through the underbrush while still peeing...not cool.

    Long story short, I find a place to hide. Underneath a truck in a parking garage! I thought I was so clever.

    Of course I pass out only to be awoken with what seemed like gunfire from the truck starting at dawn. Sit bolt upright...bam...head hits underside of truck. Quickly I realize what is happening and just lay there and wait for the truck to leave.

    All seems well as the truck leaves the lot, until I notice two older ladies backing away from me quickly. Thats when I remember I am dressed like a transvestite; covered in mud, smelling like piss shivering on the floor of a parking garage at 7 am on a Sunday morning in the Bible Belt!

    There went any hope of running for political office. Just as well...its all good when evreyone lives to tell the tale.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Hammonton, NJ
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    Now you people read these stories.........and then think aboot how alcohol is the legal, socially acceptable drug.

    World B could have been killed, Archy probably has HIV, Jimmy Vegas might have herpes, Brewengineer could have suffered a head injury rendering him useless to science from his fall or been punched silly into a Joe Frazier mental status. All because of alky - hol. That's how you say "alcohol," in the Appalachians.....alky-hol

    Nobody acts this stupid on any other drug even the ones with nasty reputations. Put me in a room with a dude who did 3 bags of "Kiss of Death" not in a room with someone who drank 3 pints of vodka.

    Alcohol's "high" actually sucks.

    Free the weed and ban the booze.
    Free the weed and ban the booze
    (come on everybody)
    Free the weed and ban the booze
    Free the weed and ban the booze