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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Singer Island
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    Crowd Control Techniques

    The surf season is just getting into gear here in South Florida. The next swell is going to be blown out and drifty, so crowds are not a factor except at the south sides of jetties. But, when it gets good and it gets crowded, I have a few tricks.

    1. Look at the guy who is on the peak, just before the wave gets ready to peak ( assuming you are the next one closest to the peak) and with big wide eyes, stare right behind him and say real loud: "Holy sh*t! Did you see that shark?!?" As he instinctively turns to see what he thinks is Jaws coming at him, snake the peak. If he gives you a hard time about not seeing anything after you paddle back out, swear to God that you just saw a 10 foot bull shark. Prove other wise! Word of caution: It only works if you don't use it too often, and never at the same spot on the same day.

    2. That is all I am giving away. Does anyone else have any crowd control tactics they would like to share?

  2. #2
    The ultimate crowd control tactic is dropping doo doo turds out the pant leg of your suit and then claim it as if it was the most shred gnar accomplishment in history.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koki Barrels View Post
    The ultimate crowd control tactic is dropping doo doo turds out the pant leg of your suit and then claim it as if it was the most shred gnar accomplishment in history.
    That is heavy duty!

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Koki Barrels View Post
    The ultimate crowd control tactic is dropping doo doo turds out the pant leg of your suit and then claim it as if it was the most shred gnar accomplishment in history.
    Every time I think about this, I crack up...

    I spit while surfing too, but dippin? Dip juice is f-n nasty. I used to clean up at a lumberyard before I was old enough to use the saws... The foreman dipped a lot, and had a spittoon bucket. I spilled the bucket in myself once. GROSS.

    Still... it's a big ocean. There's probably also 300 gallons of cetacean spooge for every ounce of Koki-dip spooge, so it's all good. Stay spitting my friends.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Slashdog View Post
    Every time I think about this, I crack up...

    I spit while surfing too, but dippin? Dip juice is f-n nasty. I used to clean up at a lumberyard before I was old enough to use the saws... The foreman dipped a lot, and had a spittoon bucket. I spilled the bucket in myself once. GROSS.

    Still... it's a big ocean. There's probably also 300 gallons of cetacean spooge for every ounce of Koki-dip spooge, so it's all good. Stay spitting my friends.
    Cheers, Slashdog.

    And I do agree, spilling the **** on you is nasty, especially when it's not your own.

    My buddy's sister was at a party years ago and picked up a beer can that she thought was filled with beer and started drinking it, yup it was dip spit and she hurled immediately.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    VA Beach
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koki Barrels View Post

    My buddy's sister was at a party years ago and picked up a beer can that she thought was filled with beer and started drinking it, yup it was dip spit and she hurled immediately.
    Throw a few cigarette butts into the sordid swill, and it happened to me many years ago with the same results.

    WARNING:
    It's a really nasty habit guys. I picked it up when I briefly attended Texas A&M. Over 20-plus years later, I had a hell of a time quitting. Had to use Nicorette, got hooked on that, and it took me several more years to kick nicotine altogether. I'm so glad I'm free of that stuff.
    Dipping is worse than cigarettes in the amount of nicotine that floods your system. A nasty habit and an even nastier cancer to get on your lips, gums tongue, into the jaw bone, and spreading throughout the rest of your face. Really scary, gruesome surgeries. I won't post examples here, but with such a face, you'll certainly have the beach to yourself.
    Fortunately I finally quit before any of that happened to me.

    Sorry for the somewhat off-topic public service announcement, but I would hate to see any of that happen to anyone.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by DosXX View Post
    Throw a few cigarette butts into the sordid swill, and it happened to me many years ago with the same results.

    WARNING:
    It's a really nasty habit guys. I picked it up when I briefly attended Texas A&M. Over 20-plus years later, I had a hell of a time quitting. Had to use Nicorette, got hooked on that, and it took me several more years to kick nicotine altogether. I'm so glad I'm free of that stuff.
    Dipping is worse than cigarettes in the amount of nicotine that floods your system. A nasty habit and an even nastier cancer to get on your lips, gums tongue, into the jaw bone, and spreading throughout the rest of your face. Really scary, gruesome surgeries. I won't post examples here, but with such a face, you'll certainly have the beach to yourself.
    Fortunately I finally quit before any of that happened to me.

    Sorry for the somewhat off-topic public service announcement, but I would hate to see any of that happen to anyone.
    I commend you for kicking the habit, I've tried several times over the years to kick it, but I am so addicted to nicotine...I've seen the pictures, I googled them to try to help me quit, but it just doesn't work. Like you said, when I have half a face, I'll be able to paddle out at Pipeline and have it all to myself...so that may make it all worth it...lol

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    I always tell people that the water is really warm where I am at...jokingly of coarse...I do hate it when people spit all over the place, so I am the guy that will tell you about it, I get crazy looks sometimes, but they don't do it anymore or they just paddle off

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by fl.surfdog View Post
    I always tell people that the water is really warm where I am at...jokingly of coarse...I do hate it when people spit all over the place, so I am the guy that will tell you about it, I get crazy looks sometimes, but they don't do it anymore or they just paddle off
    Dude, You cant make up rules like that. If you told me not to spit in the water(which is full of feces, disease and the dreaded fish poo)I would then tell you to paddle on. I spit a lot, I don't like the taste of salt water. So get F-ed. Spit aint litter, and it wont hurt you.(mine wont anyways)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    MD - VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by macgregorsmith View Post
    Dude, You cant make up rules like that. If you told me not to spit in the water(which is full of feces, disease and the dreaded fish poo)I would then tell you to paddle on. I spit a lot, I don't like the taste of salt water. So get F-ed. Spit aint litter, and it wont hurt you.(mine wont anyways)
    Aggro, I like it Mac, I like it....and it keeps the jumpsuits at bay, too.