A few inside trader tips for the SI target market:
- Your wetty is but 3mm too thin for the northeastern chargers. They demand upwards of 7mm thickness. The types of brahs who've been doubling up on rubber since prom night.
- Your wetty won't get much attention until you've claimed to have pissed in it dozens of times. Wettys that have been shotted in are even more coveted.
- You'll have to sew those glove fingers together in webbed fashion.
- The rash guard won't sell unless it's guaranteed to cause a rash on the buyer's skin. Preferably, an infectious and potentially lethal rash.
- That wrong board will not sell on here unless you can prove that the racing stripes add speed down the line.
Bro. We need to have a brief talk. And it consists of me reminding you that your favorite movie is without a doubt He's Just Not That Into You. Now go fire up your BlueRay (just pressing "play" since we know you watch it on the reg) to remind yourself of the theme and realize we are just not that into your wetty.
I'm so glad we had this conversation.
1993: The movie Surf Ninjas is released and to a complete lack of critical acclaim. Calvin Wilson of the The Kansas City Star called the film "a disgrace... even by Hollywood standards".