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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Turtle Island
    Posts
    4,999
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    6
    Dude I cant wait to see what happens in Belmar!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    BELMAR, NJ
    Posts
    1,492
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    1
    Quote Originally Posted by seldom seen View Post
    Dude I cant wait to see what happens in Belmar!
    Right on!

    Brah!!! You know what happens in Belmar....

    #onlyinbelmar
    #cruzintobelmarintheirocZ

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Wilmington, North Carolina, United States
    Posts
    667
    yea man great story! Nows I gotta know does the band finally get that big break after a frigid set at the big Winter surf/music/ice carving festival in Belmar!?? Will there be romance? An overdose? Will someone get tapped to star alongside Jack Black in "School of Rock II - Belmar Rocks"??
    Last edited by babybabygrand; Dec 26, 2013 at 12:23 PM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Hammonton, NJ
    Posts
    1,557
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    7
    Meanwhile down south, way down south, where the streets are littered, an angry young man was tired of getting of getting his kicks with the freaks and the #$&&ers.

    They called him Blaster of ye Sand - Blaster for short - and Blaster was growing tired of his life in the south. There were never any waves (maybe three time a month), and Blaster was just tired of it all. He was tired of the barefootedness; the toothlessness; the illiteracy; the snakes and varmits; bluegrass music; the phony politicians the area produced............he was tired of it all.

    Blaster, being from the south, naturally lived in a ratty, old trailer in the middle of a crumbling trailer park. Sunyvale Trailer Park was its official name, and it once was inhabited by elderly banjo players who would pass their days smoking Virginia Slims, drinking Busch Beer, and urinating in the adjacent woods, as most of their toilet facilities ceased to function. It was the trailer park's finest moment. Sunyvale once received honor as being the third best trailer park in South Carolina voted by the readers of Coon Huntin' and Moonshining Magazine........the most popular periodical in the state.

    Blaster spent much time on his rigged-up internet computin' machine. He dreamed of civilized places like Los Angeles and New Jersey, and he listened to Jane's Addcition constantly. He was known around the trailer park for belting-out his catch phrase, " Nothing's Shocking." Over and over, all day long. He would kiss every person he encountered just for the shock value, and to pay homage to the band that did it all.

    Blaster was unemployed and collected welfare even though he constantly complained aboot African Americans in the big cities doing the same. Blaster never used the term, "African American," however, which was constantly the subject of sour grapes with his immediate neighbor, Shaquandashika X, who said she was the direct descendant of one Malcom X. Shaquandashika smoked a lot of crack, and drank malt liquor so no one tended to believe her, except when they wanted a blast. Then they believed everything she said.

    Blaster, being from the south, naturally started to pimp out his sisters......his nieces ............his mother.......his aunt in order to save enough money to head-up north. Lately, Blaster, had been hearing much aboot a magical place located way up I-95 where the waves were classic, and the money flowed like the River Jordan. They called this place, Belmar, and it was as good as it sounded. Just the name rolling of one's lips made sense. B-E-L-M-A-R............

    Blaster was going to get himself there, hell or high water........

    To Be Continued.......

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Hammonton, NJ
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    1,557
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    Quote Originally Posted by RIsurfer View Post
    Once again, too many words.
    Ho Brah, no problem, eh.

    We come out da next year with da kiddie version. If you no like dat we gon poun you good.

    Besides rural CT is a lonely place, especially now. Read, man, expand your teen-aged, text messaging attention span....How you going to read Proust later in life?

    (interesting side note: as I was writing that pidgeon, I had to keep correcting myself as I was intermixing an Italian guy with a choke moke......Italian pidgeon....kind of interesting.......

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Singer Island
    Posts
    1,437
    I so wish I could draw or paint or had artistic talent.... I can envision a comic book that morphs into a movie, action figures, and dare I say.... an over the top waterpark that rivals Disneyhood, full of games, characters, rides and poor quality junk food. "BELMARLAND".

    Looking forward to the next installment.

  7. #17
    you got the rural connecticut thing right. and the Bridgeport thing. and the..my life thing.....

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    The Cloud
    Posts
    67
    Who knew that the thread of the year would appear with just a few, short 2013 days left to go? Instant classic.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    confederate states of america
    Posts
    1,435
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    4
    that was pretty funny we do got a lot of trailers in this state, ive actually considered getting a double wide one day. but i do got to correct one thing, marb lights not slims..for more white trashyness. keep it going.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Northern New England
    Posts
    595
    Best Christmas story ever.

    The adventures of Seldom continue.