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  1. #41
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    Sep 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    "A sphincter says what...?"

    In other words, STFU & go back to lurking. Billy's workin' it; you go work your thunderc*nt (props to Brew).

    Billy's the SI Forum Legend, and Billy's the wordsmith, not you jackass. The Seen is The Man of the Hour.

    Do something productive like go chum your jacuzzi and stop trying to hijack the man's thread.

    Upon reflection, in the spirit of the season, perhaps I was a bit on the harsh side.

    Just know that Billy is a SI HOF dude, the word original doesn't even begin to describe this cat, and thus his contributions must be protected from hijackers, gnomes & latex dummy thrashers the world over. Healthy new year, everyone. Yes, everyone...

  2. #42
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    Apr 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by yankee View Post
    "A sphincter says what...?"

    In other words, STFU & go back to lurking. Billy's workin' it; you go work your thunderc*nt (props to Brew).

    Billy's the SI Forum Legend, and Billy's the wordsmith, not you jackass. The Seen is The Man of the Hour.

    Do something productive like go chum your jacuzzi and stop trying to hijack the man's thread.
    Hey, thanks Yankee, I appreciate the support, but don't let this Boog dude get you upset. He isn't even good at throwing an insult. If that's what he was trying to do. Boog, where you trying to be insulting?

    I was waiting for this to happen. I'm surprised it took so long. He even uses my favorite surf writer, Dave Parmenter, in an attempt to insult. Of course he's probably never read anything from Dave Parmenter, but saw me mention him a few days/weeks ago.

    Hey Boog, don't take it all so seriously. It's a simple story playing on the characters on this website. I'm not owning anybody. It's all done in fun, Boog. Yeah dude, use the word, "own," a few more times. It makes you sound edgy.

    Yes, you won't be in the story because no one knows who you are. And really that's what this is all aboot. Boog wants to be one of the guys on Swellinfo.com. Well, this isn't the best way to go aboot it.

    And yes, by hassling people constantly, because of jealousy, you might just get your Swellinfo handle known. But that's the loser's way of gaining attention. But I don't think you have what it takes to even do that.

    Boog,(I was in jail with a Boog) go back and read your posts here. And think really hard. Do you think your little quips were zingers? Do you think anybody is impressed by the series of questions you presented in an attempt to appear clever? If that's the best you got, may I suggest going back to the drawing board and trying again.

    Do you guys notice that this always happens? Jealousy man.......it's a terrible thing. And to get jealous of a loser on a surf predictin' website forum is really pathetic. LOL SMH LOL ROFL LMAO BRB BRB YOLO SMHFH LOL ....

    Matt Johnson is dead.

    Jon Coen's writing is boring. Why every periodical seeks him when writing aboot New Jersey surfing, I have no idea.

    Brendan Buckley is better than Zander Morton, Chris Cote, and Justin Cote.

    I had an idea for the continuation of this story, but Boog derailed it. Now I'm sad because some anonymous dude, named Boogitym, just had to take a shot at me. Wow, I'm totally distraught. Plus, I've got a bad cold and it's at its worst right now. There's no thoughts in my head, only mucous. Hey did you guys know that crack cures the common cold?

  3. #43
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    Dude you could always double down on the DXM...but then you might find yourself watching Animals Close-Up With a Wide Angled Lens.

    45.jpg

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    Long Buried Island
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    740
    Quote Originally Posted by Paddington Jetty Bear View Post
    Jon Coen's writing is boring. Why every periodical seeks him when writing aboot New Jersey surfing, I have no idea.
    I had an idea for the continuation of this story, but Boog derailed it. Now I'm sad because some anonymous dude, named Boogitym, just had to take a shot at me. Wow, I'm totally distraught. Plus, I've got a bad cold and it's at its worst right now. There's no thoughts in my head, only mucous. Hey did you guys know that crack cures the common cold?

    Boring? eh maybe. But the reason Jon is referred to so much is because he is always out there week in and week out or swell in and swell out writing about it. I enjoy his columns, he usually hits the nail on the head.

    How about a PJB column in the AC press?

  5. #45
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    Apr 2008
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    Matt Johnson is dead?? NOOOOOOOO!

  6. #46
    Ha...I know nothing about your Parmenter mentions. I applaud your satire but not sure those included realize the picture of kookdom you frame them in. Actually pretty clever and very East Coast Everyone Surfs... I assumed that's a compliment. Assumptions can be dangerous. I'm prob more aloha rick or dukestorm. Been here a while but not as persistent or consistent... But that's not a fault

    Dont be a Chas... Be a Hawk

    Ps buck naked is better than cotes but still hard to take

    Pretend I'm not here... Continue

  7. #47
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    Apr 2013
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    (By the way, This is NOT an insult to anyone. Just a play on SI characters and regional stereotypes.)

    What a ride it was. Seldom didn't notice the used condoms on the front passenger-side floor until they hit Interstate-95. He also didn't notice how sticky his seat was until he shifted his weight, Outside Providence. Hey Zues continually looked over at Seldom Seen, smiled, winked, and gave him a Thumbs Up. Hey Zues also frequently looked in his review mirror at "Adam" who launched into a rambling rant aboot EVERYTHING and EVERYONE as soon as they left the shred spot parking lot.

    Chuckles made them stop at every rest area due to his beer drinking, and Hey Zues hassled every person attached to a car without Jersey license plates, He also gave a bear hug to every Jersey resident he encountered.

    "Hey yo, kid, you from Jersey?"

    At one rest area, Jeff wandered suspiciously around the bathroom areas and the surrounding woods. Then he disappeared for a full ten minutes. He returned with a odd look on his face - one that exuded shame mixed with exhilaration. Seldom then remembered the rest area scene in his fourth favorite movie - There's Something Aboot Mary - and started to wonder if Chuckles or Jeff may be some loony serial killer.

    Jeff then spoke aboot his admiration for George Michael.

    Jeff spent most of the ride looking out the window, smiling a queer-looking smile, while using his ventriloquist's voice to enable "Adam's" view of the state of the world. Just north of New York City, Adam went a little too far and made disparaging remarks aboot MTV's hit show, The Jersey Shore, which caused Hey Zues to suddenly brake onto the shoulder(break down lane for you New Englanders).

    Hey Zues, jumped out of the car and actually addressed the space between Chuckles and Jeff, where Adam sat, and said:

    "You mothertrucking muff cabbage piece of garbage !! You ever say anything bad aboot Snooki or Jwoww again and I'll murder ya, kid."

    Besides internecine squabbles, the Jersey Guido looks out for their own.

    Hey Zues then went to his trunk and pulled out his works. He then entered his vehicle and had Seldom Seen administer a shot of anabolic steroids into his backside. Hey Zues then twitched his shoulders around, greased and combed his hair, and then let out a big sigh of relief.

    "You're beautiful, kid," Hey Zues said to himself, and then he jammed the yellow IROC Z, with pink trim and b!tchen rims back onto the highway.

    Seldom started to cry as they passed over the George Washington Bridge, and Jeff started mumbling aboot the UFC and The Karate Kid. Chuckles was on his last beer, and started harping aboot making a "Packie Run." A pakage store being what New Englanders call liquor stores....Why, no one knows.......

    It was quite the journey. Some of the events that took place are unfit for a family surf predictin website. Seldom Seen will carry those nightmares for life. Besides the non-stop, booming, club music, Hey Zues also had a TV installed on his dashboard that played a continuous loop of hardcore pornography. Some of the subject matter was quite disturbing.

    They finally hit the Garden State Parkway, a major artery that runs parallel to New Jersey's coast, just some five to ten miles inland.

    Belmar was in range. Seldom hoped it would be worth it.

    To Be Continued......

  8. #48
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    Excellent!

  9. #49
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    Apr 2013
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    SELDOM, one time I was kind of forced down to Virginia during my wild days. I was going nuts. So, in desperation I swigged a bottle of cough syrup. I couldn't believe it actually did something. It was like a mild, yet somewhat uncomfortable, trip. I kept telling my dad, that I couldn't believe I was binging from cough syrup....

    MR. SNIFFER - please sir, do not get the wrong impression. I love you and LBI. But LBI and the surrounding area is kind of sheltered, and I find it funny when I encounter dudes with attitude there. I mean they just discovered dope a few years ago, and they OD off of AC dope, which sucks. Garbage.....2 - 10% pure.......

    Mr. Coen seems nice enough and all, but I don't know.....Why him? All of the time?

    Why doesn't anybody have any foresight and get Beetlejuice to write an expose aboot New Jersey surfing. Aww man, now you got me feeling bad aboot my remarks towards Mr. Coen. He's the reporter type and that's fine. But I want more than just reporting from my Jersey surfing mag articles. Plus, I don't care what Shaun Tomson thinks of New Jersey and never got the answer why all of New Jersey holds Seaside Heights dear to their hearts.

    I actually used to get my letters to the editor in the AC Press because that paper drives me nuts. Every day I go nuts reading local's views of politics. Drives me nuts. And they print letters from the same 7 people....old codgy dudes. Denny and Ted from Mays Landing, look out(OJ voice - Howard Stern reference #2). When I read the AC Press's opinion page, I feel like I'm in Alabama.

    You know, I had some email contact with some surf mag editors. Some of them ain't that sharp. I can fully see how the four pages of text the write per issue probably takes them three weeks to "perfect."

    Steve Hawk was great. The George brothers were great. Steve Barillotti be great. Shoot most of the people who worked for Surfer were great. Surfing, too, back in the day. Society has declined. Plus, these groms today don't even care aboot magazines. PRINT ALWAYS TRUMPS THE INTERNET...You can throw a book at your wife, but you wouldn't throw your computer.....

    And Boog, I don't mean to be nasty......But this is a funny haha on a surfing website. These submissions of mine take ten minutes to write. I'm not trying to be Gordon Korman or William Shakespeare. And again, I'm not insulting anyone with this story. Lighten-up people. It's a surfing website.

  10. #50
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    Next installment, later in afternoon, as I'm going to Mays Landing. Just in case anyone's interested. I'll be introducing everyone's favorite van driver.