Today was a beautiful day. Went out at low tide - just me a few longboarders chatting, sharing little glassy rollers, working on our "face tans" for a few hours LOL.

Then the summer people started showing up. Here's a list I came up with for the summer folks to help them acclimate. Feel free to share:

1. Anything that you bought in Mal-Wart, a craft store or the drugstore down the block is not a "bodyboard", especially when it's called a "Spice Stick". Please don't call my beloved No. 6 "goofy looking".

2. No, I am not in the surfer's way. There is a big difference between being in the line-up with a bodyboard (see above) and standing at the shore with your ass sticking out, waiting for whitewater to jump into. We are not doing the same thing.

3. No, my board was not on sale for $5.99!

4. Yes, the fins help and yes, I like the fact that they are lime green, so stop asking me.

5. I'm wearing a wetsuit because the water is 63 degrees. I think you're a moron because you're wearing nothing but trunks.

6. Yes, the wetsuit is necessary. Yes, I am aware it's not flattering. Thank you for telling me.

7. I do not want to babysit your children. And no, they can't play with my board...it's too big and the leash is too big for them to be safe.

8. Be careful if you decide to swim out to where people are lined up.....if you see us dropping into waves, please don't jump onto the shoulder yelling WHEE! - you can get hurt that way.

9. No, I can't get rid of the seaweed. If you hate it that much, go to the pool.

10. If you insist on bringing water in plastic bottles to the beach, please dispose of it in the proper containers. Carrying it to the water and dumping it is unacceptable. The same goes for dirty diapers, plastic bags, broken toys, empty sunscreen bottles or whatever else. If I ask you politely to not throw trash in the ocean, cursing is uncalled for.