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Thread: Dear Hipsters

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by zach619 View Post
    The hipster won't last long. Their pants so tight that not one of them has a sperm count high enough to reproduce. Well, I guess a more important fact is that hipsters are all gay, so we don't need to worry about little hipster spawns in the future.
    Wait, so it's not "survival of the fittest jeans"??????

    Ohhhh....."genes". I get it now!!!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by MakeItStop View Post
    list the hipster traits

    likes to whine
    loves authority
    smug sense of superiority
    any other traits (that dont sound like blasters)?

    cheap beer, expensive coffee drinkin
    what else?
    They TRY to look uber-male....but
    Can't spin a wrench.
    Can't swing an ax.
    Opposed to guns.
    Drink machiattos
    Ride Vespas
    Grow mountain men beards but can't clean a dead animal (nothing against the veggies here, but if you're trying to look the part, better be able to cash the check)
    Wear levis with italian loafers. I love both of those...but they don't belong together. If you're cuffing jeans, you better be rocking doc martens brah.
    Their music sounds like it was written by a 10 year old that ate lead paint as a child
    They drink PBR. Who the f*** with any self respect drinks PBR from a sober state? Sure, cap the night off if you're desperate and that's all that's in the cooler, but for the love of all things holy and righteous...start off with a micro-brew.
    They all live in Brooklyn....voluntarily.
    Wear non-prescription glasses. Can't really figure that one out.


    I could keep going, but it makes me want to punch a baby.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by seldom seen View Post
    Those black rimmed glasses they all wear.

    Listening to Morrissey.
    hey - i listen to morrissey. so old/fat/bald is hip??

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by seldom seen View Post
    I'm in, we'll do it when we camp in the Barrens in the Fall.
    cue the banjos..

  5. #25
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    no, just fat. Old and bald is uber cool.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmassSpicoli View Post
    ........ a lyrical spattering of self-loathing about the one half hot girl that ever gave them the time of day for 10 minutes then hit the bricks after seeing they were beta emos.
    very funny

    also props to JR but lets not knock a beer that costs less than 50 cents a can. sometimes I want to crush a bunch and my pockets arent deep enough for microbrews. tecate, rolling rock and pbr get it done cheaply and after the first 2 they all go down like spring water from a virgin mountain
    Last edited by MakeItStop; May 21, 2014 at 08:21 PM.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by baddy trailerpark View Post
    hey - i listen to morrissey. so old/fat/bald is hip??
    Sorry baddy, nothing personal, just something I was told once.

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJR View Post
    They TRY to look uber-male....but
    Can't spin a wrench.
    Can't swing an ax.
    Opposed to guns.
    Drink machiattos
    Ride Vespas
    Grow mountain men beards but can't clean a dead animal (nothing against the veggies here, but if you're trying to look the part, better be able to cash the check)
    Wear levis with italian loafers. I love both of those...but they don't belong together. If you're cuffing jeans, you better be rocking doc martens brah.
    Their music sounds like it was written by a 10 year old that ate lead paint as a child
    They drink PBR. Who the f*** with any self respect drinks PBR from a sober state? Sure, cap the night off if you're desperate and that's all that's in the cooler, but for the love of all things holy and righteous...start off with a micro-brew.
    They all live in Brooklyn....voluntarily.
    Wear non-prescription glasses. Can't really figure that one out.


    I could keep going, but it makes me want to punch a baby.
    That nailed it too. Micro-brews are now gaining acceptance. I still feel most scum sucking yuppies drink them still though

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by barrels4liam View Post
    That nailed it too. Micro-brews are now gaining acceptance. I still feel most scum sucking yuppies drink them still though
    True. Yeah yuppies are a bit annoying, and even worse than hipsters. Completely emasculated square frame wearing goofs, foaming at the mouth for the new Ikea summer collection.

    I swear, half my generation has their head on straight, the other half is fine embracing weakness and wallowing in mediocrity. I live in MA, this place is crawling with them. Jump and run at the sight of a spider, vehemently pro-political correctness, claims to be a forward thinker, incapable of recognizing humans for what they are.
    Sometimes I wonder how their eyes aren't on the sides of their head. See exhibit 1 and 2






    Our eye sockets are formed below the frontal lobe of our skull, and not in the temporal region...and this is for a reason. Hunters vs the hunted. I can't think of a species that would voluntarily regress from Apex to prey....aside from hipsters and yuppies.
    Last edited by MichaelJR; May 21, 2014 at 09:13 PM.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandblasters View Post
    Dear hipsters go die. Your clothes are trash and your music sounds like little kids crying. I think y'all are gay too. You all need to move to Oregon and kill yourselves. Ps, if you drive a Prius you might be gay. Hipsters are a threat to national stability.
    Your post sounds like you're crying. I left a tissue next to your mother's head board. Use that, not swellinfo.