Official Jokes Thread

[wbsurfer]

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After
a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod.

hahahahahahahahaha

[Don Ride]

Why do blondes like lightning? Because they think they are getting their picture taken.

[Driftingalong]

Subject: The importance of checking your child's homework


SEE MOM’S REPLY BELOW THE PICTURE

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah?s picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

[Ricky Data]

HAHAHA. That can't be real, but still super hilarious.

[wbsurfer]

hahaha roflol.^^

[surfswell]

whats roflol mean?
Anyone here about the new mcdonalds sandwich the mcjackson? its 50 year old meat inbetween ten year old buns.

the fisrt parts not a joke, whats that mean? and what color was george washingtons white horse? was mickey mouse a cat or a dog?

[Aguaholic]

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

Cause.... if it was invented anywhere else it would be called the teethbrush.

[Beach Blonde 25-6-4]

How many people with ADD does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

Wanna Ride a Bike?

[VAsurfer604]

A blonde walks into a convienience store and sees a TV on the counter. She walks up to the cashier and says "I would like to buy that TV." He replies "Sorry I we don't sell to blondes." The next day she comes back to the store after dying her hair brown and says "Hello, I would like to buy that TV." The cashier replies "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." She says "How did you know I was blond??" He replies "Because thats a microwave."