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  1. #41

    sea turtle dump

    I prefer the turtle dump. dig a hole in the sand, stick your bare ass in it, cover yourself with a nice neat towel and lay those stinky eggs while smiling at everyone on the beach. no one ever knows

  2. #42
    and just think that water is up your nose and in your mouth ear plug and a ball gag for me

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    LBI
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    Quote Originally Posted by whosthat View Post
    There's nothing right about this thread........is this what we're "saving the oceans" for? Show some control you sick fu***rs......(seriously,..."winter" and "epic" conditions might get reconsideration...both very rare situations at best) Didn't you sick bastards just finish the "tourists dumping gargabe" thread? Nothing makes sense anymore....I gotta go drop the kids off at the pool.....AT THE POOL....NOT THE OCEAN!!!!
    I agree with you completely. Whenever I'm feeling sad and alone, I'll fill up my excretory system with various meats and cheeses, take a laxative, and head to the local swimming pool. After relieving myself somewhat conspicuously, I like to sit on the edge watching my turds wreak havoc.

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Monmouth County
    Posts
    35
    I think Bobbyg's turtle method is the best. Every convenient when their is large crowds on the beach and in the water. To be truthful with the people that have actually done this, you guys are some sick sons of b!tches!!

  5. #45
    bonus points if you cover your your little leatherbacks by shifting sand with your feet, and crawl back into the break with your board on your back

  6. #46
    As a water quality professional I have to say - Stop pooping in the ocean, it sets a bad example!

    Poop joke:

    Three deer hunters drinking all night, one, Joe is very hung over the next morning. For the morning hunt, the other two post him at a tree and will check on him latter. One hunter shoots a deer and takes it back to the tree to gut. Joe, at the tree has fallen asleep while taking a dump and is still leaning against the tree with him pants down.
    “Hey let’s put the deer guts under Joe’s ass”. They drag the deer back to the cabin and return to get Joe.
    When they see Joe, He is flipping out and says to him friends, “You will not believe this guys, and I was so hung over I **** my guts out! But, by the grace of God and these two fingers, I was able to put them back”!

  7. #47
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Virginia Beach
    Posts
    142
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    A guy calls his doc and says: "My wife has this problem, everyday she has a bowel movement at the same time, 9am. The doc replies saying, " that's alright, it's healthy to be regular." The guy says, "you don't understand doc, we don't get out of bed until 10!"
    Last edited by Masterjasson; Jul 14, 2011 at 11:43 AM.

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wilmington
    Posts
    740
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    Once I was doing a dawn patrol, and I didn't know of any places that were open yet with a bathroom, but everything "dropped a level" right as I was paddling out. There was no way it was staying in. I ended up having to let it go twice and I was mortified by the experience. I will never do it again. Plus I eventually had to get out and find the closest bathroom (it isn't very safe to drive when you're millimeters away from crapping yourself) at the Coffee shop a mile away.

  9. #49
    My first time on this forum and this is the first thread I come to...Figures.

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Central NJ
    Posts
    242
    bobbyg.............I laughed so hard I almost sharded.