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Thread: *F**ING Punks.

  1. #1
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    *F**ING Punks.

    So last night at like 11:00pm, My fiance and I are watching a movie, drinking some wine and chilling. All of the sudden I hear noise on my front porch. I hear one of my boards tip over, like the wind blew it over onto the cement. Then I think for a second, man there is no wind outside. So after about 5 seconds of thinking, I jumped up and looked out my peep hole. I see some person with a Baseball hat on. My golf clubs happen to be right by my front door, so I grab my putter with a huge jagged head on it and wing the door open. There is some 16-19 0r 20 year old Punk standing on my porch. I had two beach cruisers on my Porch (neither locked up) and two surf boards. My one beach cruiser was already gone and it looked like he was moving my boards out of the way to get my girls cruiser... At this point I walk towards him and basically say "Are you fu**ing serious. You little fu**s just walked up on my porch and stole my bike? I looked down the stair case and saw a couple more little wanna be gangster mexican teenagers and **** standing at the bottom. The kid was like "I aint steel **** from you Homie" So after quickly thinking about the situation, at first I was going to walk up and crack this kid with my golf club, but then I would have had to go golf clubbing a whole group of little punk as$ kids. ANd these days, these little mexican punks could have pulled knives or whatever... I was in no fear at the time, But I just thought, dude, I turned 30 years old 2 days ago, if I beat down some 17 year old for ANY reason, even if they were wrong, I would probably spend some time in jail explaining why I slammed a putter through some kids head.... Not to mention the fact that if I did beat this kid down, then I could be dealing his little gang banger friends coming back around to fu** with me. I mean, these little punks invaded my home so they know where I live...

    So basically, My fiance called the cops while this was all happening, They didnt even call back or respond, fancy that... But I told the kid when we were standing out there. I was like look kid, You are truely a fu**ing moron. Our lights are on. Our TV is on. You already got one of the bikes, then you start banging all my **** around. I told him he needs to go back to criminal school and get the FU** off my porch before i killed him. Then he ran off...

    I wasnt even too mad about it, cause honestly, I have not ridden that bike in 2 years. Its the principal though. My fiance has asked me for years to sell the bike or give it away because I never use it. I always argue and tell her that Its mine and that someday it will come in handy...

    I guess since I turned 30 a couple days ago, this is gods way of showing me that I am too old to ride around on a beach cruiser now...

    So, anyway, I kind of laughed it off after it happened and was happy that I didnt go nuts and get myself into more trouble that the situation was worth...

    But damn dude, what are you supposed to do as an adult when some almost-grown up little sh** deserves to get phsically injured.... Fu**ing sucks... Its a good thing he didnt take my boards though,. Would have chased him down and probably killed him... I would have been in a blind rage....

    But anyway, I thought I would share that with you guys, cause im sure plenty of other guys have had some little rat thieves come onto their property and steal sh**. Its just funny, cause you always think, MAN I WISH I WOULD HAVE CAUGHT THEM WHILE THEY WERE DOING IT... And I did catch one of them, and it was a ****ing kid... Im like, dude I cant even just tackle you and hold you here till the cops come. I mean, sh** I really felt like my hands were tied.

  2. #2
    If there was a ding on the boards I would've Tiger Woods'd his ass .

  3. #3
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    Yeah, the boards were stacked up long ways on their sides, on the side of the house, They only tipped over like 6 inches and had no dings... They guy picked one of the boards up and gently set it down on top of the other one, and after he did that, it slid down a few inches to hit the ground. No dings. But that is how all the noise happened. Idiots...
    Last edited by zach619; May 22, 2010 at 06:23 PM.

  4. #4
    Actually, looks like MD would be very sympathetic. This just passed... govenor signed it.

    http://mlis.state.md.us/2010rs/billfile/sb0411.htm



    Press has been rather quiet about it...

  5. #5
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    Yeah, but he never entered my dwelling. I live in a gated community with about 500 units. The complex is like 2 miles long... I live on the second story in a building of 10 units. These fu**s were just standing on my front porch, which is still like public property. Its only mine when you get inside. I think... I mean, I could have just sunk my putter into the kids skull and said that he charged me or came into my house... But the kid almost sh** his pants. He for sure wasnt charging me. He just backed down the stairs like a snake. And im not trying to profile anyone, but Im not mad at Arizona for their new laws... Its just funny how I have had two cars stolen and they caught them both times... Both times it was mexicans. I saw their names on the police report... They may live in the USA, but they arent here legally. Now I catch the kid stealing and guess what, he was from Mexico... Wow, that is SHOCKING.

    And when I say mexico, I mean they are FROM mexico. I am not trying to group every legal hispanic into this. Im just saying, this kid was born south of the border. I coulld tell by his "HOOOOLLLMMMES: accent when he called me that..

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by zach619 View Post
    But damn dude, what are you supposed to do as an adult when some almost-grown up little sh** deserves to get phsically injured.....
    Step out of the door and place a .357 close enough to his nose that he can see the cylinder has 6 coppery hollow points and explain that 3 deployments to Iraq, 1 deployment to Afghanistan and the bullet in my back have made me unstable to the point that no court would ever [convict] me for ghosting some little piece of thieving **** like him.

    By that point, his little ***got mi-ho's would have disappeared and you could use the moment to [impart] a life lesson on how much he is on his own with that crowd.

    Just a thought....
    Last edited by Ray F.; May 22, 2010 at 08:03 PM.

  7. #7
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    Never too old to ride a beach cruiser or a bike bro

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ECsponger View Post
    Never too old to ride a beach cruiser or a bike bro
    Thanks man =)

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ray F. View Post
    Step out of the door and place a .357 close enough to his nose that he can see the cylinder has 6 coppery hollow points and explain that 3 deployments to Iraq, 1 deployment to Afghanistan and the bullet in my back have made me unstable to the point that no court would ever evict me for ghosting some little piece of thieving **** like him.

    By that point, his little ***got mi-ho's would have disappeared and you could use the moment to empart a life lesson on how much he is on his own with that crowd.

    Just a thought....
    brother, I feel you. I have been arguing with the lady for a few years about purchasing a gun for the house. Her argument is that we live in a safe area, and there is no reason that we would every need one, and although this incident doesnt really warrant bearing arms, I have wanted to have a .40 calibur that I fell in love with. I would NEVER use it. Unless someone pulled on me obviously, but last night would have been PERFECT to pull on this kid. I had enough time to grab something. And I would have felt a LOT better if I had been able to walk out the door with a .40 pointed at his face. Then I would have explained things a little differently and told the kid that he was going to get the fu** off my property, but he was going to go and get my fu**ing bike back and leave it at the bottom of the stairs since I have already seen his face. All im saying is, Im not really trying to beat someone with a baseball bat and sh**. But I would like to have some protection in my home, because what if that kid would have charged me with a knife or something. I would take a gun over a golf club any day. You never know these days. Some meth head could let himself in one night. You know. You never know. Last night reminded me of that. Although its harmless kids, back in Baltimore, Kids will shoot you over that. You walk out in bmore while your car is getting stolen, they will leave you like a piece of swiss cheese. And although I live by the beach and it FEELS really safe, you never know what kind od city scum is rolling up and down the streets looking for opportunities. There are tons of empty mansions that people use for summer homes and stuff, so there are gang bangers always creeping up and down the nice neighborhoods looking for empty homes and potential victims. Well, you can snatch my bike, but I am never going to be a victim. After posting this, I think I am going gun shopping. I go to the range a couple times per year and I take the fiance. I have an enthusiast friend who showed us tons of safety stuff and takes us out to teach us abotu fire arms... My girl is like 5'3 and she loves shooting the 3.57 with the longer bullets. Its pretty funny to watch., The kickback is comedy.

  10. #10
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    Did they try to steal your boards? Because then **** would've gone down.