Solo missions and the wife

I'm about to get married and will probably find myself in a similar situation one day. But luckily, my fiance understands my needs and she encourages me to go surf whenever I tell her there is potential swell out there. She actually bought me my last long board, and last year she bought me my SUP, so she's awesome to say the least. I know she wouldn't be fond of me flying somewhere solo for a week long trip, but the thing is, she prefers to go with me everytime, even though she doesn't really surf, she just likes to go along for the ride and hang out. As long as I don't leave her stranded on the beach by herself for 4 hours straight we're good, so i just make a day out of it and have like 3-4 sessions, and no complaints. So, my suggestion if she's not cool with the idea of you going alone is bring her with you, but just be sure to not forget she's there, cause i know how easy it is to lose track of time out there.

 

This profession still exists? Are you booking a seniors only cruise to Alaska or rivers of Europe cruise? I think we just figured out why you accounted $3,000 bucks for the expense!

 

Was thinking the same thing, I booked a week long trip for my honeymoon the other day. We'll be staying in a private villa next to a surf shop right in Puntas / Rincon PR for less than $99/night, surf boards, tie downs, coolers, beach towels, chairs, umbrella all included. Near Marias, Domes, and Tres Palmas. Flights are super cheap through Jet Blue, we're looking at $1200 total for both of us round trip and stay.

 

Your gonna love that trip- I have a handful of friends that either moved to Rincon completely or have gone & worked/lived for the season for 5+ years. I went the year before last for 2 weeks and was very fortunate with swell the whole time- keep trying to get back- solid swell headed there now- wish I was.

 

I'm not married so take this with a grain of salt.... If your lady has a problem with something like this, she doesn't trust or respect you and you have a major problem on your hands. If you have room for it in the finances, and you give her plenty of notice, and she still says no... That is effed up.

 

The difference being our trips are dedicated to surfing and exploring; their trips consist of partying and drinking.

 

Yeah man i'm stoked more than ever for this, for many reasons. I've heard nothing but good things for the most part. Hopefully it goes as planned and I catch a few days of swell, it's late October so I undestand it will be hit or miss.

 

Not necessarily. I've been married for 5 years and my wife would not be happy about me taking a week long trip and it has nothing to do with trust. We both only get 3 weeks of vacation a year with our jobs. One week is normally used visiting out of state family (holidays and such), one week gets chewed up on sick days and other misc stupid life stuff, and one week we spend together on vacation. If I said "I'm going solo this year"... whew.. not good. She also just doesn't get wanting to do things alone, like most of the GFs I've had. They always want to be around other people, always want to do things together. She would have no problem going with me however and grabbing a bodyboard and enjoying her own mini stoke.

But hey, that's my wife. If yours lets you go without grief that's great.

 

So, what's wrong with partying and drinking?

 

Been married 17 years. Working full-time and raising kids, blah , blah. In those 17 years I've surfed and traveled extensively. Some trips with the ole lady, some not. Some with kids, some not. Depends on the TYPE of trip and how much you are willing to sacrifice. In my 30s it was OK to ditch them for a trip if she knew it would require things like camping in a malaria-infested jungle and the like. Nowadays as I age, I actually WANT my wife and kids to come with me. Time on the blue marble is short and at this stage I want to spend as much time with them as I can. If it means I surf less on our trips because of family crap so be it. FIND BALANCE.

 

I guess I'm lucky in some respects, wife will go anywhere as long as there is sand between her toes. Its does get easier the longer your married and sometimes encourage the girl trips to capitalize on future solo surf trips.

If your wife knows your buds that golf as most avid golfers take trips too without their wife's so use that in your pretext of your desire/necessity for a surf trip. Honey can't do it without ya, play it up, trip together would be wonderful for us but do to limited budget not sure can swing it. If we go together these are our choices and if was able to go solo could stretch it to this level or maybe not a good idea now, show off your puppy dog eyes. Certainly including her speaks volumes from her eyes (he's so wonderful) over dropping a solo trip leaving her out of the equation. So in the meantime keep the dialog going, odds are in your favor most of the time so seek tentative travel plans with your agent for solo as well as both of you. Sometimes just the thought including her can work wonders, better than explaining why you want to go without her and lessens the pay back when you return. Their's always mileage for letting you go solo even when she agrees but the drive can be less bumpy.

 

My only issue is with this statement. It would be impossible for me not to commit this sin in the tropics with perfect surf going off in front of me. For that reason I told my wife she would be better off going somewhere else and letting me go away with my friends. That way I can really surf and not always be looking back at the beach wondering at what level her pissed off meter was at. I don't think I have been to the beach in 10 years where I sat on the towel or in a chair for more than 15 minutes without getting up and doing something else. To be honest I don't like going to the beach unless there is surf or the rockfish are running.

 

My wife and I have an agreement, as long as she can park her ass on the beach I can go surfing. That said, I have taken surf trips to Costa Rica with and without her. Go solo, you will surf much more. I also have a little side slush fund so I can pay for this out of my pocket, not out of our joint account. She has a fund for her shopping needs so it balances out. Also explain to her that you are a better person after you surf and will come back in a better frame of mind. That all being said, Witches Rock Suft Camp in Tamarindo is a great solo spot. I once went in a big group(not my doing) but ended up befriending this guy who went solo and we've been mates ever since.

The problem with taking the wife is that she now wants to go back, and rather than me surf all 7 days, she wants to see other stuff. Problem was she had too good of a time. Perhaps you can go with her and her sister or friend. Then they can do what ever they want during the day, and you surf your brains out, then rendezvous at night.

 

I'm just like you man, i prefer being out there for hours and hours, and I hate sitting still on the beach for more than a minute but alll I have to do to keep her happy is paddle in for a 10 minute breather, and then i'm back in the water for another couple hours, but if i stay out for 3-4 straight hours i start getting "the look" when i return finally. Just gotta let her know you are thinking about her, and back in the water you go...

 

Married twenty years. Bottom line, surf trips + family/couple trips don't mix and often end with everyone feeling frustrated. If it is firing, you want to be out as long as you can paddle. If you try to be nice and adjust your surf time to family needs, you will be staring longingly out at the surf and ignoring your family anyways. (at least that is what I inevitably do). Either way you lose.
My solution: encourage the wife to take her own solo or girlfriend trips while you tend the homestead. Mine takes a regular camping/hiking trip with a girlfriend in some beautiful location most years and comes back stoked. Then I get my own ski or surf getaway guilt free. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

 

Partying and drinking leads to decisions you'd otherwise not make if sober or on a trip to explore/surf. Everyone can chime in and talk about the trust thing, but the bottom line is, once partying and drinking is involved, there's no telling on what will happen. It all leads to irrational decisions.

 

I thought you were referring to your wife and her partying and drinking while you're out surfing

 

our wives encouraged us to go when we told them,but,we couldn't do it and turned the mommy van around before we got out of nj.my buddy and i agreed we couldn't enjoy ourselves without them.gonna try again this summer,though.i have a plan.they want us to go.

 

Haha, I don't have a wife.