Ride report by Steve83

There you go again, Gnome: you're making that huge claim that I noted earlier, and which you denied saying, namely, that your kindling performs much better than the other boards.

Is today the orange pill day or is it the purple ones?

Oh, and you can lighten up with your telling people on this board to STFU. 'Cause you may get yourself banned for threatening humans; and then we would be left with the ravings of your cousin the NJShredmachine.

 

Perhaps you should decide exactly what it is that you are claiming that I've claimed... because it keeps changing.

For the best results try direct quotes.

This is a great antidote to your BS:

[video=youtube;_FNAF14jrtA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FNAF14jrtA[/video]

 

Not my machinations, those of other people... perhaps you didn't manage to get that...

 

The "evil gang" in Hawaii didn't get it either, apparently.

 

Right back atcha, kindling kicker - - this one is your theme song, isn't it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-lJZiqZaGA

 

There you go again. Another ridiculously illogical statement where you are pretending like you know anything about wave size comparisons in the USA. Ask anyone who has spent time on both coasts out here. ZaGaffer can tell you all about it. It isn't like there is a globally accepted standard for measuring precise wave height based on parts of the human body. Hell, there is a lot of back and forth discussion on wave size even when they are measuring in ft/m during big wave competitions.
Further more, how can you tell someone they are wrong when they are stating wave height based on their own perspective of a video? You are the true definition of sociopath.

 

Guess you missed the bee thread where you got pwnd. If you are talking about the conspiracy theory threads, then you are really crazy. I posted links with research, you posted a moronic youtube video and opinions. Your truth is not factual truth. It is a world created by your sociopathic mind, where you can never be wrong and don't need to provide sources to back up why you are right.

 

So he is a sociopath, with paranoid schizophrenia?

 

Roy has such a biiiiig ego. I mean I have a much huger ego than he, but my goodness it's a rare day that I find a man who even comes close to having half my ego size. I'm the like the ego ringer, everyone thinks their ego is the biggest til I show up. I usually bust out of the back of a canyon cavern with salty spray following me like the lip of a giant working against a howling offshore. Wherever I'm going I just set a line on a bomber set and blast the lip into little pieces when I hop out the back and land on land but I never actually dry out, I always have salty water dripping from my locks. And my nipples, they leak saltwater all the time. Makes wearing a shirt a real pain so I walk around shirtless. In the winter I usually catch a macker set south down past Frisco and over winter on the barrier islands digging up sea clams and blue crabs. I share my meals with the birds and they let me know when there's a massive rogue set building up on the shoals so I can get started letting myself drift out there just in time to drop in and ride it all the way back to home base where the birds have started a fire and put some water over it to boil.

 

this is ridiculous. And you have proof that Rarick was out to stop what was to become the new hottest board in hawaii????

Roy let me ask you.... is there anyone that you would accept a negative ride report from? I mean you don't see other surf companies going crazy when a surfer doesn't like their board.

Also, other than from you I have not heard or seen or read any great review on your board.

As for Rarick's review.... I thought it was informative and honest. The only thing that I questioned was why he was dropping in on everyone. lol.

 

Calling the NJShredmachine! Take notes here.

 

Case study, amigo, case study.

 

this has jumped the shark. can Steve please ride the dang board already!!

 

So after two weeks what have we learned here? Roy's still a delusional douche and Steve still ain't rode the damn board!

 

I just watched the vid of Rarick's ride report on Youtube.

Then I read through all of Roy's comments...... jeeeeeeze.

 

I just watched the vid too. Clearly the coolest feature of Ruoy Stzuewzart's board is the fact that it has to fart every once in a while. Roi, let me suggest you place the "butthole" / air-release valve on the back of your board to allow the rider to attempt to ride the nost without getting a toe stuck in the butthole. However, this rad feature does have me re-contemplating asking for a 500,0000 dollar loan to get my hands on one. Another feature you may think about as an enhancement is putting a whoopie cushion style ballon valve in the "Butthole" so when the board is ready to fart, an actual fart sound is made. Just throwing it out there.

 

Yes, gotta say I like northendcanyon's style.

 

So, I may be going out on a limb here? But hear me out...

As several guys have pointed out there have been a couple of opportunities (waves) for 'Steve' to break out his creation & give it the long-awaited test ride. Yet, no report, no 'Steve,' no nada. 'Steve' seems to have gone to ground.

My creeping suspicion is that 'Steve' is not 'Steve' at all. Despite what ZGaff's respected opinion is re: Steve-from-the-heartland, I'm wondering now if the pics of 'Steve' and his kindling board are photo-shopped by a certain someone & posted on here under a different Gnome-de-plume. Ahem.

As well, the purported written saga of the South Carolina kindling pile being built had many phrases & turns of the tongue that smacked not of Steve-from-Chicago, but rather a certain stealthy self-promoting asylum escapee Gnome from Hobbitland.

I wasn't the first to notice this. Other, sharper observers of The Kindling Tales wondered, weeks ago, whether the Gnome is Steve & vice versa.

Anyways, the only credibility of the product is in a public performance to demonstrate its maker's claims. And when the product fails to support the maker's claims of being able to out-perform most other products, as did the Gnome's bonfire product so brutally fail, then the proof is in the Kiwi chocolate self saucing pudding. Eh, mate...?

 

Just made my day

 

I also wonder what happened to him. He appeared out of nowhere, posted of his crazy build on multiple surf forums, then disappeared without actually showing himself riding it. I tried to be open minded about this, but now it seems suspicious. I think our site owner could tell you for sure if Steve's IP was based out of SC (or even the USA). Kinda sad. I was hoping we had a decent wooden board builder here in the low country.