Severing ties with parents...

I'm with Sniffer on this one, from personal experience as well. If your situation resembled 757's, I would suggest you stay put--but still not forever. Plus, it's not like you have to leave town or anything.

I just feel there are certain things you have to do that include shedding what is comfortable and doing what is difficult. It builds character.

 

gotta agree. My son is 16 and he already knows that he is not allowed to move back in. he's going to have to learn the hard lessons of life.

 

Listen to these guys...

Just to give you an example of how things can go long term. I moved out at 18, my wife left home at 16, we both made it on our own, had our struggles, but now at 32 we have stable jobs, decent income, nice home (nothing lavish or anything), nice vehicles, and travel to surf and non-surf vacations. We earned all that on our own, with little to NO help from parents after we left. Had many times where I wondered where my next meal was coming from, or if I would have power on when I got home (which sometimes it wasn't), but I figured it out... what that did is It built character as Erock and Pumpmaster suggests. What you'll learn is toughness, how to fight in the real world, and how to "make it".

Now, take the opposite scenario...

My wife's OLDER sister, supposively the more responsible one while growing up, the book worm, the nerd, the one who did everything right, stayed at home as long as she could, well into her late twenties, got married, had kids, and then when things didn't work out so well financially, ended up back home with mommy and daddy in their 30's and continued to stay there into their 40's until just recently when they finally got told to get their own place again. They would have stayed there until they died if they had the option. Now in their early to mid 40's are just barely making it... STILL.

Not saying this is what will happen to you if you stay, but the point is, they didn't learn how to survive in the real world, and therefore they are always going to be looking for help from the parents and can't even provide for their own kids, the grandparents take care of that. It's sad really, all those book smarts, and no street smarts...

 

Man, you parents who are all strict are meany guys....." GET OUT !!!"

Why have kids if you are going to be so mean? And I can't wait until your kids go, "INTO THE NURSING HOME, POPS." Karma's a b!tch.

Attention mean parents: This world isn't the same as when you people grew wings. It's completely different. There ain't no jobs and everyone's on heroin.

Bill Cosby: You do listen to Led Zeppelin, right? That will help.

Sniffer: Hey, I thought all North East Italians lived with their parents until marriage or they inherited the family home? Even in marriage most Italian parents provide a first house for the kiddos. That's a fact. Like, the ex- mayor of my town bought his teen-aged son his own business because the kid was selling all of the family's possessions on E-bay. And they are totally Italian and live in the most populous Italian area (per capita) in the country. I see it everyday.

So Bill Cosby take these austere attitudes with a grain of salt. Plus, Pumpmaster is required to be harsh with his "RED" avatar. And after the 1970's, Topher Grace is a failure. So just keep that in mind. What the F is an "avatar" and why do people use the term. It's a friggin picture or a profile picture.......

Oh if you strict types really want to teach your kids a lesson get them locked-up. They'll learn how to take care of themselves and become resourceful there. They'll learn things like how to primatively create fire to light their banana peels.

 

Ya man, don't be that dude. You'll get too comfy being connected to the parenting teet and will be too lazy to fend for yourself, just look at the lion at the local zoo, is he a "real" lion or do you think he would make it in the jungle if released today?

When you are ready you'll know. Don't rush out today and get a place or anything, unless of course you've saved a few thousand, then go right ahead by all means.

 

I also got a Biology degree, moved out of my parent's house around 20-21 and worked for a few years in the industry. After a few years I went back and got a Master's which you should consider if you want to up your earning potential. There are all kinds of Bio jobs some even in CA or FL if you apply and look around. Put your head down and grind it out, it will pay off later. Now I'm living in HI with a great job, couldn't be happier.

 

you never learn the important lessons in life the easy way.

 

I worked for a private lab for a few years and in several research labs for the University of Maryland in the late 90's into the mid-2000s. Look at University job websites for laboratory tech jobs if that's something you are interested in, I also signed up with some scientific temp-hire firms like Kelly Scientific (reputable, should never charge you $) to get my foot in the door at some places. I find it hard to believe you couldn't get into the military with a scientific college degree, have you talked to a recruiter or taken the ASVAB test?

 

My P's moved away from me. Dad got transferred to Utah. Sorry Mammy and pappy, no waves there.

 

Great advice here

"Some of my best times in life were in the years when all of us were battling to make it, usually always broke, it didn't matter much in retrospect, we were too busy laughing & living."

Save enough to move out comfortably and get started. Don't be that weird uncle we all have.

 

Save as much money as possible.Don't start renting and throwing your money away.Wait until you can buy a place even if a fixer upper.Get some equity going Once you start to rent it's hard to save up for a home.

 

Move out. Your parents do you no favor letting you stay an adolescent. They should be charging you rent and not paying for anything except, if you donthave it, medical insurance (since if you get in the hospital, they would have to foot the bill).

I moved out my senior year of college, never entered my mind to live with parents. You need independence, a pad to bring girls home to without mom and dad in the next room etc. Go for it!

Quit whining about no good jobs out there. In 1972 I had a crap job, paid about 4k per year, but I had my place, granted with Roomates , my OWN paid fir bicycle I rode to work, first car not until I was 28, but had a blast with friends. We were all broke with crap jobs, but we were having a blast and mom and dad were far away. To wash our meager clothes we used a laundromat, ate basic food, movies once a year, cheap wine, cheap beer, but still had the best of times. So can you! Do it.

 

You are correct for the most part PBJ, luckily though I grew up in South Jerz where that kind of coddling does not occur as much and I would probably be embarrassed if my folks bought my home. North Jerz Italians, well thats a whole nother story.

 

I agree with both sides here.. If you are truly going to save for a house, I'd stay a little while and do that. If you are going out and blowing cash on nonsense move out. I have a ton of friends that mooched off there parents and never saved a dime. Soon enough they were 30 and starting out like they just got out of school.
Save as if you are paying rent/mortgage. Put a set amount away no matter what, so that you know what it's like to have to com up with it every month. Take the amount it would cost for [rent/car/phone/TV/Electric/food] and put it away every month... Soon enough you can get out on your own and even if you rent you'll have a nice little cushion.
But remember how cool your parents are (seems like you do) and help out as much as possible. If they pay a landscaper, have them stop and mow the lawn. Take out trash and all that good stuff. Make their life easier to repay them for doing the same for you.
BUT, if you are really unhappy and want your own shag pad now go for it. You'll get by and become a responsible man in the process. Or at least you'll get laid a bit (depending on your game).

 

You're young, healthy, and not tied down with wife, kids, house, pets, a bunch of car payments, etc. You have freedom and can afford to make changes and take some risks. Do you see any future in this job you hate? No? Then get the hell outta there. Take some risks. Challenge yourself, expand your horizons, and learn some valuable life lessons. What's the worst that could happen? You don't live in Bosnia, Chad, or some other miserable hellhole. There are many older guys who would love to be your age again and have the opportunities you have in front of you at this time in your life. Don't be miserable. You're too young for that BS!

 

Ding Ding Ding! Winner, winner, chicken dinner! (that your folks paid for).
Dead nuts! Best advice on this post by far.

My 2 cents... plan for one more year. Save every friggin nickel. Then go it alone. I learned a lot about this f'd up world by being in it.

If you're lonely, take some action and make some "more geographically desirable" friends. Start a poker game or something. Or the yoga class thing, that sounded promising.

 

If I may add one other thing: the merits of the buying a house thing has come under heavy, valid scrutiny in the past couple of years. Without delving into the pros & cons, I'll just say research the heck out of that one. There's a powerful, valid case for renting, not buying / owing.

I've done both. Started off renting, saved, bought the house that I currently live in. I've replaced every dang thing there is on this place over the years - - you will, too, if you buy a house & stay in it more than 10 years - - I'm talking furnace, roof, gutters, AC unit, hot water heater & more. My point is that unless you're in a region where housing appreciates faster than inflation (as well, faster than the local govt property tax a**holes) eats up your gains, you may just break even once you go to sell. If you buy a house, it should be because you want to live in that house & live that way, not for an investment. The latter is a crapshoot at best.

One man's humble opinion. Enjoyed reading this thread......there's some good stuff posted by ones who been there.

"To know the road ahead, ask those coming back."

 

What has changed that people are no longer anxious to get out and take on the world? Anxious to be on their own? Take all the responsibility good or ill on their own shoulders just because it was exciting to have their own life.