Dear Hipsters

+1

 

Holy sh*t, did anyone ever tell you you look exactly like your avatar

 

someone call the whambulance..

 

With ya blasters of ye sand.

 

well done Mr. Blasters.

 

list the hipster traits

likes to whine
loves authority
smug sense of superiority
any other traits (that dont sound like blasters)?

cheap beer, expensive coffee drinkin
what else?

 

Plaid, Moustache, self-hair-cutting, lady-jeans, ...smug sense of superiority nailed it

 

vaping sucking homos

 

Arent they just emo kids? The skinny jeans are horrible.

 

awkwardly feminine
self proclaimed "introverts"
pants too tight
pale skin
patchy facial hair
unidentifiable by gender if cleanly shaven
carry books that they aren't actually reading
constantly say that the surf isn't big enough
chooses a scooter over a motorcycle.
only uses apple products....
likes terrible music
likes terrible art


When in CA, an employee asked a group of us a random question. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being gay, 1 being not gay, how gay are you... My answer, was negative 10000. Hipster's answer was "About a 6".... True story... The guy did have a smoking hot girlfriend, but I think you get my point.

I told this same hipster one day that he had to properly groom himself and fix his hair like a normal human before he came to work again. He told me "You just don't understand my style. Do you know how much I paid for this hair cut?" ... My response was something like: "Well, you better go get your money back because you look like a homeless person"

 

Those black rimmed glasses they all wear.

Listening to Morrissey.

 

I think so. I am still trying to figure out what "Emo" even means. I just thought "Emo" meant you get picked on all the time. One day, all the kids that get picked on started a club, and called themselves "EMO"

 

Yeah im not seeing the difference....oh except they changed it from EMO to Hipster. I guess with "hip" in the name it sounds cooler!

 

My son says it means emotive

 

I think we should put all other differences aside and collectively see to it that they are not welcome in the lineup...if I remember correctly hipster infiltration is quite a problem for NY surfers.

 

I sometime get the urge to duct tape two hipsters together and then kick them down the beach like a soccer ball. Hipster soccer anyone?

 

blasters what a tread you hipster-hatin brawfish. Looks like your hat is definitely in the ring for HOTY '14.

Emo started with emotive punk music in the mid-80s which was basically a bunch of trash that would never ever make mention in our Punk Rock tread here. Then a branch of alternative in the late 90s started to get called indy emotional and that music was more palatable but still sucked. A few years later and you have straight up emotional music from bands like Dashboard Confessional whose "songs" are a lyrical spattering of self-loathing about the one half hot girl that ever gave them the time of day for 10 minutes then hit the bricks after seeing they were beta emos. Most recently, it seems that emo is much less about the music and more about kids buying out Hot Topic for their wardrobe and displaying conformist acts on a platform of non-conformity, which is conformity at its finest.

That's enough from me about them damn emos. But skinny jeans amaze me, they've got to have at least 8% rayon in their fabric. Every kid wearing them looks like a member of the castrati. Damn eunuchs. Play some organized sports or at least join a band playing real music!

btw...trevolution is one of my favorite cats on here all-time and he's doing big things now heading out west to surf and fight wildfire. But when I get a mental image of him it's definitely an emo on the higher end of their toughness spectrum. Hopefully I'm all wrong about that since he's otherwise the most righteous dude in a spit hood that I don't know.

 

The hipster won't last long. Their pants so tight that not one of them has a sperm count high enough to reproduce. Well, I guess a more important fact is that hipsters are all gay, so we don't need to worry about little hipster spawns in the future.

 

I'm in, we'll do it when we camp in the Barrens in the Fall.