The Seldom Seen Christmas Special

Hungry and nursing his last bottle of cheap brandy, a rag tag figure lurked beneath the boards eyeing the arrival of Mr. Anarchy. His excellent sense of smell confirmed that this new arrival on his beach was, in fact, a body surfer - not as good as a meaty long boarder, and not the challenge of a spunky short boarder, but it would do.

Things had been tough for the residents under the boardwalk, as Atlantic City's new gay republican mayor was a strange guy behind the scenes. Every Friday night the mayor would do unspeakable things to the residents under the boards. Atlantic City had become even more unbearable.

The boardwalk dweller carefully set down his bottle of brandy, being careful not to spill a single drop, and he prepared himself. Things had been sparse ever since the Ventnor Pier became the focal point of Absecon Island surfing(that's the Ventnor Pier - Cambridge Avenue, Ventnor). The sand bars there were choice, and it attracted everyone from Toby from Galloway to pro surfing, testicle-smashers from Longport. It was the place to be.

So he had to make this one count. This could be his last surfer/boogie boarder/bodysurfer ever taken in Atlantic City. He knew it was time to move on. He had done his research amongst the heroin addicts at the library on Tennessee Avenue. He knew where he belonged, and it wasn't Atlantic City.

In an instant Bogeton Wolftucks, from Wales, sprang from beneath the boardwalk and violently pounced on an unsuspecting Mr. Anarchy. In a flail of blood, guts and screams, Bogeton, a degenerate gambler and avid brandy drinker, decimated his victim. The attack was swift and frantic, and it was over in seconds. The last words heard, on the once quiet Massachusetts Avenue beach, were cries denouncing violence, taxes and welfare.

Within an hour, only Mr. Anarchy's carcass was left as Bogeton, a large Afghan Wolfhound from Wales, had stripped Mr. Anarchy clean. Bogeton, who had a serious gambling problem, was terribly hungry. It had been awhile since a feast, and brandy only goes so far.

Bogeton, being Welch, knew that the time had come. He donned his Rip Curl Flash Bomb 6/5/4, his Xcel booties, and his O'Neill gloves, and he jumped in the water, after quickly draining his brandy bottle. Good bye, Atlantic City, good bye. Bogeton was last seen heading north passing the Absecon Inlet.

Down by the Showbaot the cries of Underdog Woman punctuated the quiet Christmas Eve night.........

"Mr. Anarchy..........Mr. Anarchy........Mr. Anarchy............"

 

Where will Bogeton go????

 

I'd venture to say most people on this surf predicting website read every post in every thread. You're not really that special. More of a real life ground hog day and we're the Bill Murray that has to live through it. Remember that arena football player named HeHateMe? Is that you? Did you quit football and take up surfing for a little bit so you could get in more e-arguments? That's the funny thing about this place, we all take our hits and carry on. You get your feathers ruffled and can't shake it off again. After a series of self implosions you spontaneously combust and get banned. That's the beauty of SJB. The pimple you love to pop.

 

Wow, you are dumb aren't you. I'm not angry or upset at the current feeble attempt to hassle me. You don't read situations too well, Clemson. You South Carolina, two-foot clown.

Dude, you don't react any differently than I concerning hits. Shall I delve into the acrhives and show you your hypocrisy. Nahh, I'm not doing that.

Dude, you just don't get me. I don't get bent more than anyone else on here. Less actually.

I get banned for doing the same things other people do. I just have a target on my back.

YOU READ EVERY POST IN EVERY THREAD??? I certainly don't. Not even close. Currently I look at 3-4 threads. That's it. So, you're talking aboot me and my obsession with e-arguments and you READ EVERY POST ON HERE?

Wow, that's rich isn't it.

And genius, I don't start these "e-arguments." Do your homework. I have little parasites who follow me around taking jabs because it is a vehicle towards gaining attention.

And if you want to have an "in-person" argument with me, then come on up.

And again, a thread with my name on it and someone who don't like em just has to click on it and read......

Oh yeah, he reads every post on every thread. Dude, I might read 10% of the posts on here....if that. Wow, you're worse than anybody on here - obsession wise.

And honey, you've never popped me. You've never done anything to me. What's wrong honey, feeling a little ignored on here? F you, you summer-surfing clown.

 

Without South Jetty Billy In some form or other, This site kinda sucks... If you use the search tool, you can get any information about how to put on your wetsuit and how to make your own wax to save that dollar... Love him or hate him, he's interesting. Oh, and I don't read every thread.

 

THAT'S IT. I AM A ARTIST AND I CAN'T WORK IN THESE CONDITIONS !!!! THANKS TO CLEMSON, THE SELDOM SEEN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL IS CANCELLED INDEFINITELY.

CLEMSON, you are a dope. No one takes this site less seriously than me. I think surf predicting sites are a joke. You just don't get my joke because you are too dim.

And babycakes, yeah I quit football to surf more so I could come on here.

Dude, I GUARANTEE I surf more than you.

I still can't believe you read every post on here. Dude, that is the most disturbing thing I have ever heard on here. Most of the thread topics don't even warrant a read of the title. So, you have trouble with them wet suits and stuff, huh? I guess you wonder if there will be waves on the Outer Banks next April, huh? LOL What a moron.

Dude, you need to get a life. You read every post in every thread? Wow, dude go get a few books or something, man. You are wasting your mind.....

OHHHH here comes the NAACP to prevent you from wasting your mind. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

 

Noooo.........

Come on...I said "Yay!"

 

HAHAHA, you used to be able to take so much more. You're little fuse is shortening with age. You have a target on your back because you put it on there with all your "woe is me" self flagellation. Whining about parasites... Take a shower and pop a pill. Antibiotic that is.

I agree you might read 10% of the posts on here but somehow you're able to spew word goo all over the place. What's up with that?

You're about to pop yourself. The little whitehead of a brain you have is festering and will be dumping putrid waste again just in time for you to get kicked again. Believe me, it ain't me Mr. Blake. I've only reported Shark-Hunter. I like you way more than I like him. So you've got that going for you.

You're not mad? Sorry I didn't respond fast enough. You know that's the beauty of the internet. Let's say I did come have an in-person argument with you and your personalities... can you imagine all the good comebacks you'd have after it was over? Here on the internet you can keep on hurling verbiage whether you get a response or not. Therefore, you do take it seriously because you can't let go of your little joke that I can't understand.

I don't really understand the rest of your stuff that you wrote but yeah I have time to click on links and read them from 8-4. You probably do surf more than me, I'll blame that on location and obligation. Somehow you have way more time to post than me too. I wonder what the post count of all the SJB derivatives is. I'm getting close to 1000 since 2007. But i'm the dorky one because I read posts.

 

Wow, that first paragraph in Part II was some logic. I have good comebacks on the computer, but I'm even better in person.....except when I'm moody. Hey man, come on up. You might actually catch a real wave.

"Hey, brah, I hear The Washout's like 3 foot today." (Pssst, other South Carolina people, I don't mean it. I'm just hassling Clemson aboot South Carolina. I actually love South Carolina. Don't tell Clemson though)

Honey, my fuse is long, it's at least seven inches. You aren't upsetting me, Clemson. Sorry, I know that this is just an attempt to get some attention, but yeah, I'm not angry. And I don't whine aboot anything on here. Pointing out facts to dimmer people isn't whinning. There's a big difference.

I missed how I'm displaying a "woe-is-me" attitude. I guess your perceptions are different than mine.

Dude, let me explain this to you. I'll do it slowly......

I AM NOT UPSET ABOOT ANYTHING THAT TRANSPIRED TODAY

There's two people on here that have ever gotten under my skin - MIS13, and XGEN70............that's it. Well, Doug may have lit the fuse a little bit before too. Congratulations to those three.

I'm actually smiling right now.........sort of.

So, posting a lot is worse than some dude reading every post on here (probably with his pants down). Ok, if that's your view, well I guess that settles it. Yes, viewing instead of participating is much better.

Dude, if you think I get mad all the time then you better work on your reading comprehension skills.

But....... I'll give you what you want.


WAHHHHHHH THAT'S IT !!!!! I'M NEVER COMING ON HERE AGAIN !!!!! UHHHH, I'M FRIPPIN RID. AS WENDY THE RETARD SAYS, " AHHHHH, I'M GOING NUTS..........."

Tell you what, Clemson, today is your day. I'm going to stay off of here for awhile to honor your issues and problems. Stick this feather in your hat, Clemson. This is your special Swellinfo Day. Maybe you and Mr. Swellinfo Guy could hug and celebrate.

Dude, if I took this stuff as serious as you claim. I wouldn't blatantly tell the moderators to F OFF. I wouldn't get an infraction and then come right back and "disobey the authorities" again. I would tow-the-line so I could stay on board. But ya see, Clemson, I don't give a truck. I am addicted to this place, but I don't give a truck, if that makes any sense.....

And that, along with my stunning wit and intellect, is what really upsets you. You've always done what you were told and towed-the-line. People like me make you realize that, hence your anger. And I'll remind you once again, that you started this e-argument. I didn't come at you.

But, as I said, it's your day, Clemson. I'll go away since it's aboot your wishes and opinions.

 

Well, you crossed the line there friend. Geographical insults are in poor taste and are a direct reflection of the person that stoops to that level. Talk about my wife, kids, dog, hairstyle... that's fine. When you start talking about the general area that I live in, that's when I get serious. Do you know who you're messing with? Do you even know that we got second place in the Civil War? I wouldn't F with that.


Shame on me for forgetting your blatant disregard for authority. You are the change you want to see in the world. INTERNET ANARCHY. I like what you did there you mother trucker, towing the line you.... I don't really toe the line because I spend most of my time on the good foot doing my thang. Today happens to be a slow Friday so my toe I shall show.


I am jealous of all your qualities but good looks is what burns me the most. On a scale of 1 to Brad Pitt, you're a Ryan Gosling (that's an 11 by the way). I mean how did you get to go through life breaking all the rules and stay so damn hot? I mean you're the only trucker towing the line without a license that i've ever heard of before... there's so much wrong with that.


Today is my day. Fly a banner for Clemson.

 

#wepoopinthelineup #thesouthwillriseagain #secondisthenewfirstplace #gotigers

 

#belmarNJ

#saltlife

 

#metardlife

 

Okay, btw, I had never heard of this Salt Life company until I moved to the ol; cackilacks... WTF is it? There are stickers on every 16 year old car. T-shirts in all the tourist shops. I have viewed their website, and I see that they are a self-proclaimed "lifestyle" company from Jacksonville. So its just a clothing company... I guess I just don't get the joke.

 

all I know is a guy at my job has a salt lyfe sticker and he is one of the biggest dudes I ever saw.he could flip a f350 with his bare hands.i always thought it was a fishing thing cus the guy don't surf

 

It gets worse.

http://heybosouthern.com/

I've seen a couple of these around here. I've got a running joke with my brother about people calling each other Bo. That's the one I'd never heard before I got to SC.

 

fwiw every person i've ever met that says "hey bo"

treated me like family and had me in tears with their humor

ymmv

 

Fwiw = for what it's worth. Got that. What's ymmv?

Nothing wrong with these Bo's I agree that the majority of them are good folks. Just haven't heard it before moving to SC.

 

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ymmv

 

Sometimes your posts make me feel smarter. Honestly. I'm done insulting on this thread. I just learned something.