Southern Swellinfo To Seceded Swellinfo

wrightsville beach is more new jersey than it is north cack

i'm f*cked

 

Come on up you southern nitwits, we will let you take Cape May. Make you feel accomplished and special. You can surf once a year when is gets good there. Maybe by then you will have enough firepower to take on Wildwood, Stone Harbor & Avalon…go ahead take em, there yours.

By then you will feel very powerful, like the Nazis did before D-Day. Go ahead, let the fighting begin.

We will give you a head start...

 

Maybe we should rethink this whole thing. If Cape May/Wildwood is the ultimate prize, why are all their women down here mooching cocaine off us Florida boyz? Maybe we should all band together and take over Santa Cruz. Just stop off in Colorado for plenty of legal blue purple orange haze gummies yum yums gooey sticky icky to dose the western lineups, then its empty rights at Steamer Lane.

 

Bruh, you just got here a few months back. For a while here we had a Civvie war on the daily. By now we all know that sandblasters just likes crying wolf and we will probably never see his carolina cutty on the battlefield. Shred's Hindu is gonna go south and take over with her carolina curry.

 

Naw, we got that figured out. All our vehicles run on 200 proof shine, and when we get to them troll booths we'll just say "Hey look here Jack, what's with that blond surfy lookin' feller hidin' up on yer roof?". Then when they go to have a look-see we'll just drive on through...

And we don't need to read no signs. We done retraned our coon hounds into poon hounds. Uncle Jed's got a pair of Snooki's panties (he claims he had relations, but we all know he got em off gregslist). With a scent that strong one sniff and them poon hounds will be able to track ya'll down lickety split.

 

Where do I sign up!?

 

Yankee cain't no one cage me man least of all the butt plunging preacher man for FL. Can I fire the first shot of "Civil War II, Da South gonna Fuk You Up"? Please Gen Blasters!?!?

 

Sh!t.. Actually sounds like y'all do have it all figured out.

 

HA, look out Bellmawr

 

Im in but lets take an island chain so that way its always offshore somewhere.

 

well, except for the surf...

 

As the drums began to play, an echo ran through the salty air. "DOWN WITH BELMAR, DOWN WITH SURFLINE." The jersey boys, led by general shredmaster stood there ground along side there allies, Surfline. MY SAVIOR throws caution to the wind with a quick prayer. There ready to fight.

 

I have been in contact with president Shred. He has ordered me, the General William Tecumseh Sherman of New Jersey, to deliver a preemptive strike to breaks from OCMD to OBX, SENC to Marias and DOMES. My greasy, gelled up, ripped minions and I will be relentless in our attacks, leaving nothing but scorched surf zones in our wake. The South and their women, will howl. (The men in fear, the women in delight.)

 

[video=youtube;Oo9buo9Mtos]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo9buo9Mtos[/video]

 

This is true, but I'm here now for the revolution, every man on the battle field counts!

 

"Let me tell you what is coming. After the sacrifice of countless millions of treasure and hundreds of thousands of lives, you may win Southern independence if God be not against you, but I doubt it. I tell you that, while I believe with you in the doctrine of states rights, the North is determined to preserve this Union. They are not a fiery, impulsive people as you are, for they live in colder climates. But when they begin to move in a given direction, they move with the steady momentum and perseverance of a mighty avalanche; and what I fear is, they will overwhelm the South." Sam Houston

 

Brother - the union is sacred. Take it from me. I live in colder climates. That, and I'm thinking about hitting the Lockn' music festival and I'd like to go under peaceful circumstances.

 

Take a look at man there. Does he look like a yankee to you? No. He's southern, like all good men.