Swell Info FAQ or What the hell are they talking about?

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by rcarter, Aug 11, 2014.

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  1. Aug 11, 2014 #1
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    FAQ for those who are confused. Please add to it:

    1. Why do you guys always say you are bangin hindus?: Search NJShredmachine and you will find out but the short answer is he posted that he bangs hidnus.
     
    rcarter, Aug 11, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 11, 2014
  3. Aug 11, 2014 #2
    nynj

    nynj Well-Known Member

    5,128
    Jul 27, 2012
    Why would anyone question bangin hindu's?
     
    nynj, Aug 11, 2014
    nynj, Aug 11, 2014

  5. Aug 11, 2014 #3
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    Q: Why aren't there more women on this forum?
    A: No, this is not a (openly) gay forum, but the not infrequent locker room humor can understandably be off-putting to more than a few ladies. As an example, a few of us got together recently for a rendition of this old song:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPVgKoruWdA
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2014
    DosXX, Aug 11, 2014
    DosXX, Aug 11, 2014
  6. Aug 12, 2014 #4
    worsey

    worsey Well-Known Member

    4,503
    Oct 13, 2013
    see shart thread.
     
    worsey, Aug 12, 2014
    worsey, Aug 12, 2014
  7. Aug 13, 2014 #5
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    Q: Why do you guys say you are going to shot a pier? Do you hunt them with guns?
    A: Again the infamous Shredmachine coined the phrase by telling us he shot the honeytown pier.
     
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
  8. Aug 13, 2014 #6
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    Q: What is this all this talk about Banners?
    A: Several months ago we were enlightened by Sunil Kumar Roy as to how effective the use of flying banners could be for: a/improving our wave-riding techniques b/bringing attention to good areas to perform surfing c/demonstrating trending concepts and important happenings in the surf world.
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  9. Aug 13, 2014 #7
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    Q: What is a close-out?
    A: An excuse. A close-out is an invented concept to describe a fictitious wave that breaks all at once with no sections and zero makeability. In reality, these waves do not exist and to describe waves as such is simply an effort on behalf of the rider to explain why he/she wasn't riding fast enough.
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  10. Aug 13, 2014 #8
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    Q: Why Belmar?
    A: Biggest most consistent spot on the east coast. The Belmar Canyon is responsible for directing swell energy straight to the Mar resulting in a minimum of head high swell on a daily basis. When the big stuff comes an an artificial reef that was recently added by the ACOE can handle any size swell of any period. And it doesn't end there, the water never dips below 50, the winds are always minimal or offshore, the the locals are very gregarious.
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  11. Aug 13, 2014 #9
    Zeroevol

    Zeroevol Well-Known Member

    7,419
    Jun 22, 2009
    Q: Why does Delaware have the best waves?
    A: Del-a-where?
     
    Zeroevol, Aug 13, 2014
    Zeroevol, Aug 13, 2014
  12. Aug 13, 2014 #10
    yankee

    yankee Well-Known Member

    9,092
    Sep 26, 2008
    Q. Why must a wave always be exactly 23' before you are permitted to ride it?
    A. Anything less than 23', or more than 23', and you can't bang hindus.
     
    yankee, Aug 13, 2014
    yankee, Aug 13, 2014
  13. Aug 13, 2014 #11
    DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    17,845
    Mar 6, 2012
    Q. Who is this weird creep that keeps offering to teach me to surf and is always looking for free surfboards?

    A. The American Taliban aka Wayne The Insane aka Beezlebub aka Driver of the White Van of Shame aka Every Child's worst Nightmare
     
    DawnPatrol321, Aug 13, 2014
    DawnPatrol321, Aug 13, 2014
  14. Aug 13, 2014 #12
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    Q: Is there a difference between a wetsuit and a wetsuite?

    A: No, the terms can be used interchangeably.
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  15. Aug 13, 2014 #13
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    YES!!!!!!!!!! Awesome you guys!!! Way to keep it going. This is what I was hoping would happen.

    Q: Is there really a Gnome from NZ that thinks his surfboards are worth $1,000,000+?

    A: Yes there is. He is Roy Stuart, our resident nut job. Roy hates America, denies the holocaust happened and bangs sheep daily. If you ever got caputred by Roy and Wayne toegther I would just kill your self cause those dudes are gonna get freaky on your a$$hole!
     
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
  16. Aug 13, 2014 #14
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    rcarter way to get the ball rolling on this. Not only is it pure gold, but we could direct new posters to this thread to get caught up:cool:
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  17. Aug 13, 2014 #15
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    Q: Why do you guys talk about a latex dummy rapist?

    A: A young wood worker who lives in a Barn in Maine and goes by the name Chucka Boo Boo was seduced by Roy and the dark side. He became angry and full of rage towards the Yankee. So Chucka Boo Boo posted a video of himself getting all nasty with a latex punching dummy while his dog butt sexed it up.
     
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
  18. Aug 13, 2014 #16
    seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    13,085
    Aug 21, 2012
    Q: What ever happened to that guy Steve, the wooden board builder from SC?

    A: See faq #11 presented by DPSUP.
     
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
    seldom seen, Aug 13, 2014
  19. Aug 13, 2014 #17
    Tlokein

    Tlokein Well-Known Member

    2,000
    Oct 12, 2012
    Q. Who is the GhostofSouthJettyPaddingtonBearBill?
    A. Can't be explained in an FAQ. Buy a bottle of Kasser's vodka and whatever pharmaceuticals you prefer, search the forum, and spend the night catching up...kook.
     
    Tlokein, Aug 13, 2014
    Tlokein, Aug 13, 2014
  20. Aug 13, 2014 #18
    fl.surfdog

    fl.surfdog Well-Known Member

    5,513
    Dec 6, 2010
    Q: Are there offshore winds in Florida or California.

    A: No, according to Shart Huffer, there are never any offshore winds in both states and it's always mushy.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
    fl.surfdog, Aug 13, 2014
    fl.surfdog, Aug 13, 2014
  21. Aug 13, 2014 #19
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    I am so glad you solved that case. I have been wondering for ever where he went. Makes since Wayne snatched him.
     
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
  22. Aug 13, 2014 #20
    rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    4,222
    Jul 26, 2009
    Q: Was there really a planned invasion of MSW? If So What happend to it?

    A: Yes there was a glorious invasion planned for the shores of MSW. We had our forces mobilizing. We had planned and plotted for days, and then.... We were betrayed by a bastard named Son of Surf Follower. The traitor tipped off the Brits to our plan. Their mommy called our mommy and we got grounded for a few weeks. The irony of this tale is that Son of Surf Follower claims to be a follower of Hey Zeus but betrayed us like Judas.
     
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
    rcarter, Aug 13, 2014
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