Need help from the boys! Quick!!

Keep nailing her. Breathe. You're in control (even though you're not about to be.) Cover up no matter what. Realize that the female is programmed to nail your ass into a financial, er, emotional commitment.

Sounds like you live in the boondocks. And there's a target on your chest. That's another problem.

 

Not sure how to help you bro

 

Play her this:
[video=youtube_share;D0W1v0kOELA]http://youtu.be/D0W1v0kOELA[/video]

 

are you dumb tell her that.

 

Bang her Friend/roommate/Mom.

Or all of the above

 

Tell er use r gonna bees a professional gambler, golfer, race car driver or bestest yet surfer, and that she should support u in ur life's dream, financially that is. She will leave.

 

Just get the fuk out of there. Tell her you have the shingles or that you caught crabs from roy then show her the pic from the blef thread, just make something up and run man...wake the f up!!!!!

 

Disagree. Condoms are for sailors and people with STDs. NEVER use condoms. Birth control goes against god's will. Wayne, back a nukka up.

 

Disagree. Condoms are for sailors and people with STDs. NEVER use condoms. Birth control goes against god's will. Wayne, back a nukka up.

 

sounds like uve never been in this situation before...

 

don't knock her up.
if you do you're toast.

move on to the next one.
so long as there are no babies popping out you have at least some degree of control.

 

Try and have anal sex, if she does it and likes it, keep her....I know, that's bad!!

 

Start farting around her immediately! Start slow, like, oops, then let them rip freely. It's a 50/50 shot, either she will leave, or she will Dutch oven you! Good luck young grasshopper

 

Tell her you want to give her a Cleveland Steamer. She will run.

 

NO. Don't tell her anything.

Just do it. She will punch her own time card. Unless she doesn't.... then you got bigger problems

 

Even better^

 

precautionary tale:

a family member age 16.
a fat-ass / no money /no college decides she is going to marry him.
he just can't say NO to her (probably cause its all good).
so they marry at age 21.
she decided he would drop out of college.
so he did.
now he wants me to take him on a real surf trip.
she says "why a surf trip when we can get new rims for the tricked out honda?"
he still can't stand up to her.
they got the rims; no surf trip.
sigh.