Lifeguards

I did apologize. I am sorry. it's true, I am now reformed and love lifeguards, except that they exist, so don't take it so personal, I think you asked for it. you invade for 8 hours a day for 70 days then go back to where you came from, so since I surf my beach 12 months a year it's difficult to accept the unnatural takeover. I talk to the guards, get along good with the captains/lieutenants(that makes me laugh), but I just think the entire thing is some surreal, ego-driven joke. you seem reasonable, but if you think I am a kook, then you are ignorant. nj is a joke all summer, the 'surfers' who disappear for 10 months, the morons at the WAWA, the beach badge ****, and nothing personal, but, yes, the lifeguards. I tried to bite my tongue, i'm sorry, but, I guess my question should have been -

what do you think the response would be if I posted a thread on a lifeguard website -

I'm a local surfer, any questions? ask away.

lifeguards have ridiculously huge ego problems, in general.

but I am truly worse, so, sorry I replied, but also I am sorry you asked.

you asked!

 

Can you refuse to rescue somebody and still keep your job? As in you told somebody not to do something, they do it anyway and are now in danger and you are like f him they should of listened to me.

 

A year or two ago they fired a lifeguard down here because he rescued somebody that was beyond the section of beach he was protecting. Guess he we supposed say "Tough sh!t, drown MFer"

 

Didn't that dude get a sweet job offer somewhere else because they heard of his story?

 

damn your stupid, i can tell you have never been in the military.

 

if you actually read what you wrote, you'd see yourself now being hypocritical, because every word you say about me is totally wrong. you don't know me at all. I said I was wrong, and you were not hated. I just now got back in from surfing on a flat ocean with a 10 foot board and a leash. the captain of the guards my friend since I was a little boy thanked me up and down for trying to get the punk surfers to wear a leash before they kill a clueless swimmer.

years ago he asked me to be the freakin' ambassador for guard/surfer relations, alright already?

however,the stereotype exists for a reason, like the teachers I work with who only care about themselves, there are bad teachers and bad lifeguards.
i'm not one of those teachers, and obviously a lot of guards are ok, even you. you wrote a lot of great, hilarious stuff on here!

we get a whistle but then the guards surf in the same spot or even further in the no surf zone.
they get all roid rage and unprofessional at the drop of a hat.
like any bad, hypocrite teacher I work with.

I hate that there are lifeguards sometimes restricting me. it's like you're telling me a dog wouldn't rather never be on a leash. i'd rather not have to be limited by lifeguarded swim areas so I could just surf, ok? stop trying to prove me right with your aggro hate.

I agree with you, it seems a good job, it's not your fault, and I know and get along with most guards. but if you can't understand that the break being cutoff is frustrating and annoying, the stand is up my street right on the best bar when there is waves can be annoying, then you are the one who is a creep bozo.

like I said, i'm sorry you misunderstood that I lost control. my fault. good thread. funny as **** and interesting and informative, too. 40 more days 'til I get my beach back.

 

lol...ambassador for guard/surfer relations. Is this a real position?

So, back in HS we would road trip to Florida and back and surf wherever. We rolled into Wrightsville Beach (first time being there) and it was chest high glassy...summertime fun. No one out. We ran straight out and caught a few waves right away. Next thing we know some young lifeguard is going ape sheet on the beach. We learned about the restrictions and he let us go.

I guess it depends on the beach but for the most part they are there to save lives...I have seen it happen. However, what a freaking nightmare to have restrictions on the when and where you can surf. F that!

 

il share my funny little lifeguard story I know I told it here before lol.

so its 4th of july many years ago,no waves,ocean was a lake.when its like that we try to swim out as far as possible.so we're out there and on the inside or whatever u call it,i seriously don't know what u call it since there wasn't any waves,but theres a guy start splashing and going crazy in like a little over waist deep water,it wasn't deep at all,so we start swimming in toward him,hes like nah im cool im the boss!!!!so the lifeguards came got him,hes fighting the whole time,people are thinking somebodys dieing,they dragged him onto the sand and he took off running.funniest shyt iv ever seen at the beach.it was just the boss making sure his little pansies would make a rescue in time.i believe they passed the test

 

thanks. sorry if i'm rough/difficult, but someone who has no one on his street 10 months and not one local guarding anywhere in sight had to say something. guards are ok these days, as lb stated, except the one token alkie football roid rager impotent date raper that can barely swim but is a 'lifeguard.' although, even he is funny, in his stoic, braindead way, all stiff and flexing as into a mirror on his lifeguard paddleboard. he's too stupid to even speak more than a unintelligible grunt of inane drone life.

sorry for the millionth time, no excuse but it's late, and I like whiskey and beer and my 24 year old son has to move to south jersey and I can't find a town that's not all sketched out. drugs, thugs and crime permeate this world of sin, and I just don't want him robbed, beaten or worse. but I digress. thanks for this well-timed to the flat spell awesome thread.

anyway it's much ado about nothing. I went out tonight at 6:05 and had the entire place to myself. they do all go back to where they came from.

I need to give this one final thankyouapology to th op and finally shut up.

 

I hate being whistled in by lifeguards, but I am glad there are a few to keep the tourons under control around here.

Sometimes I wish there were other people in the water/a gaurd in full survival suit ready to pluck me out of big winter surf, but thats the price you pay being interested in the ocean.

bubs, being a lifegaurd, ever have any situations where you were the one needing assistance or got the chite scared outta you?

 

and beachbreak, why even say anything if youre just gonna be a pussface about it? no one gives a damn whats going on in your empty glass. And you're worried about your son living in the softest area in jersey? Don't worry I'm sure there will be plenty of that Chadwick money to buy him all the security he needs to walk around stone harbor

 

They banned smoking at my HS because of my senior class. I think we're still regarded as the most unruly bunch of heathens that ever graced the halls. Our friends who were a year younger said we ruined it for them. They changed the attendance policies, put in metal detectors on all the doors, regular locker searches, etc., etc.

They day they banned smoking they had an all hands assembly. Told us they had some terrible news, we were no 2 in the state in drug abuse. A cheer went up then the chants of "We're gonna be number one!" started. The faculty did not approve. They then told us because of that smoking was banned. Told us to go back to class. The entire school walked out and lit up.

Ah high school. What a waste of time. And I still graduated with a 3.8 outta 4.

 

Both at the same time.

 

Damn near spewed my coffee over that one Senor Seen.

Would make a good prank video. Fake the whole thing then have the LG stand up and proudly display it for the crowd.

It worked for Heston in Soylent Green.