Life Advise Thread...A Questionne of Ethics

Wow seriously. Wow.
pure comedy right there. no need to lampoon it.

 

Yup, it works.
Mariage is first about sharing.
You get a day off. Share it, in every sense of the word. Accommodate, not abandon.
Today, Mrs Cuda sent me a text asking me out on a date for this weekend--we have been married 43 years in August. Still dating!!
Share, seldom....share!!

 

I realize it's an unpopular opinion to those with kids, nothing personal or directed at you.

 

Right on, keep it up, sounds like you have a great marriage.

 

Yes, and thanks. She is the best "thing" I have ever done, followed by our daughter, who is soon to deliver us our first grand child....due August 4th, I think......
Surfing is nice, real nice, but pales in comparison.

 

Good to hear, and let the count down begin, less than a month to go!

 

I only read till like page 6. I'm with DP though. Don't have kids, been with my lady for quite a long time. She knows surfing is numero uno next to her. We'd both actually prefer to not have kids, at least at this point in our young lives. More time for us. My uncle and aunt can't have kids. He surfs also. They have the best relationship Iv ever seen. But I'm getting off track here.

If we did have kids, things obviously would change. It's stressful on both parties I'm sure. My lady knows that the one thing that would help me in that situation is surfing. She also knows that I know there are other responsibilities. She knows I'd be up early, surf, and be home before she's even awake. Then the rest of the day I'm doing whatever it is that needs to be done.

Like I said, I personally don't want kids. But if kids happen, and she gets in my way of surfing, I'm out. Sorry, it'll hurt, it won't be easy, but that's like asking me not to breathe. And she understands that. So if kids did happen, I'm fairly confident she would work with me for me to get my water time when there's waves. I get what peajays saying about its not his wife, it's him (spending time with kids). That's understandable. But if the woman isn't working with you so you can get an hour or two of that thing we all live off of. That's a problem.

 

I also find it funny that someone said DP sounds emasculated and that his balls are in his wife's purse. Yet every one else is saying that there ladies are getting in the way of their surfing.

 

^^^ Boom. Thank you

 

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Women can deal with anything except a sneaky or lying husband. She will begin to mistrust you in other ways. Tell her you were given day off by boss and you plan to go surfing..

If she is mad, she is mad. It won't last forever. But she isn't your mom, so you do not want to ask for "permission". I am assuming that typically you are an attentive husband and you pitch in with baby care and housework , so she gets a break.

Find other ways to please her so she gets a baby break.

 

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You got that right, Betty... My wife is the last person I'd want to deceive, and she's the last person I'd want to deceive me. 'Cause she's the person I trust most in my life, and if she ever did, I'd have a really hard time dealing with that... just like you said about how a wife would feel. I'd even go so far as to say it would cause permanent damage... at least to some degree.

 

Every minute I'm not in the water, is 110% about my lady. Everything. Dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking out garbage, every single thing that needs to get done, I do. Not because she is lazy and won't. But because I make damn sure she never has a reason to rag on me for surfing. Surfing is fun, but for me it's more. I'm not religious at all. But I am quite spiritual. And surfing ties directly into my spirituality. Now this isn't a conversation about beliefs so I'm not going to get deep into that. But surfing is the equivalent to prayer for me. My lady knows my beliefs and understands the connection between surfing and my beliefs. I go overboard for sure with ask the things I do. She wouldn't rag on me for surfing because she does understand. But me doing absolutely everything, after working a labor intensive job outside in the elements. Wether it's raining, snowing, deathly hot. It's all just insurance. If kids were had sacrifices would deffinitly need to be made. Brews with the boys? No. Going to the show for some music? No. Taking time out of my day to play bass (bassmon) or jam with friends? No. Fishing? No. I'd sacrifice everything I do for fun. But surfing is more than that and won't be compromised. 2-3 hours when there's waves isn't much to ask for. And that's all I'd ask for. Every other waking minute is all her and baby. If any woman can't deal with that, well that's a crappy woman. Either that or your not putting in work when your not in the water

 

Been married for 20yrs on Monday. I very rarely lie to my wife. We have a child (15 now) and experienced same dilemas. Tell her the truth then go surf and have fun. Someday she will ask you to watch the child while she goes out and does what she likes to do. Having hobbies etc is the key to happy marriage.

 

Really Good advise by Betty and LBCrew above!

 

Agreed, all of it.

 

Seldom is having another baby!?!?!?!

 

F'ing A SS, F'ing A