Dumbest thing you've every heard in the water...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA, I have done that. Mainly to tourons when I was younger

 

Louis, the old cholo at the Juno pier, every now and then, on the first wave of a set on a crowded day, he yells, "Everybody Go!" and they do. It's a hoot. The rest of us, usually three or four who didn't take the bait, just sit there laughing waiting for the next three or four waves to roll in. "After you, sir", "No, after you".

 

hahah - How have i not thought of this!!!!

 

This isn't the dumbest. Nor can I remember exactly what was said. But it was like two weeks ago. Two dudes paddle out. Normal summer guys. One of them said something to the effect of "surfing season started in July". Those weren't his words but it's basically what he said. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and paddle away from them as they both stared at me awkwardly


Also there's this one kid who is actually a pretty good surfer. But he's so damn obnoxious. When he's by himself he's ok. But in the summer when all his friends are out he just gets annoying and rude. Calling people names and stuff, not to there faces, but to his friends. Thing is he has a loud voice. You always know when he's in the water even if you don't see him. If he wasn't a kid I'd beat him up for fun. But I'm pretty sure I'd go to jail for assaulting a minor. Any way. One day last year I'm surfing, it's kinda crowded. I paddled over near him and his friends to get a few. All I heard was the constant shouting of "brah" over and over. These guys are really good at talking like surfers. So I paddled back over towards my friend and said something like "I heard one to many "bros" in a two minute period". Annoying kid paddles over to me and goes "remember me bro?". I asked while laughing if he was trying to step to me or if he thinks I actually don't remember him (I saw him every day that summer). I honestly don't know if he was being serious or trying to be tough. I caught a wave and went on about my day before I knocked some 18 year old kids teeth in.

 

" What are you laughing at?"

 

Was standing at the top of the dune walkover checking the waves. A guy that I have seen before, a boogie boarder, a beginner boogie boarder and a really strange dude all around sidles up to me looking at the ocean and without turning his head says in a soft voice "penny for your thoughts?"

 

The dumbest sh1t I encounter are people walking on the beach/boardwalk in the winter. I just got out the water and I'm walking up the beach or boardwalk dripping wet, in a wetsuite, carrying my board. They say crap like, "Were you just in the water?" Or this gem: "Isn't it cold out there?"
Sometimes I pretend that I don't speak English. That's usually enough to scare them away. Sheeple

 

As I removed my winter wet suit, a passing walker asked me, "Do you pour anti-freeze in your wetsuit to keep you warm?".
Dumbfounded, I was unable to reply......

 

Next time just say "no speakie English" it works every time

 

Was it a news reporter today for NE??????

 

Random Idiot: "Do you pour antifreeze in your wetsuit to keep warm?"

Me: "Don't be stupid. I drink it."

 

Yes, but, corrected, "me no SPIC inglich". That is the origin of the derogative term "spic", believe it or not (1950s).
Your Spanish tutor,
Barry "picua" Cuda

 

picúa (n.)
prostitute, loose woman, trollop, bawdy wench, harlot, whore, cocotte, bawd, cyprian, fancy woman, working girl, sporting lady, lady of pleasure, woman of the street, hooker, slut, slapper, tart, tramp, hustler

seems about right, bawdy wench is most appropriate, imho
http://translation.sensagent.com/picua/es-en/

 

Hey....I know how to pick 'em!!!!

 

And it's so predictable too. Always the same questions. And always the dumb look on their face.

 

I've heard the dumbest ****, but it's like that everywhere and anyone you go, when you hear people talking.

The dumbest thing I heard this morning was a couple young guys talking about the room they rented at the Osprey for the weekend. I can't believe people rent rooms there. That and O'Neill's or Jackson house or whatever it's called these days. Manasquan beach house or something. I've been in those rooms before and they were gross in both places. Real skeevy and trash. I never stayed in one, just was in there doing work.

 

Sounds as if you are a male hooker, a gigolo....

 

I always tell 'em, "I'm warmer than you are right now."