My Special Lady wants to put something in my butt-Life Advise

re posting to get the thread back onto Seldom's rectum.

and because i laughed so hard i cried. Seldoms going to be doing some crying soon i suspect.

just try to relax Seldom. Try to relax.

 

+1 My bad.

 

Ahh yes, I myself went through this with the old lady not all that long ago. I responded with a cross between what NY/NJ said and the Kid's post above.
At first I reacted as you thought I would. I started beating her about the face with my cock. It was an attempt to assert my dominance. But that Mrs. Chavez, she's persistent, I'll give her that. Then we bartered a compromise. Whatever she sticks in my keister, I will jam up hers, only 10 times harder. As Gaff mentioned above, I am no virgin due to a Dr.'s finger being jammed up there a few years back. Anyways, we flipped a coin to see you got to go first. I won. I pounded her balloon knot with her big blue device. I did not use the vibrating option. I did use lube. She loved it so much we dropped big blue and did the real deal. I turned the tables.
She now realizes it's better to explore her butt than risk death exploring mine.
Moral of my story? Give her a good pipe laying and she'll forget all about the butt stuff.

 

Hey Everybody! A Butt Hole Surfing Topic!!!!

 

So, a friend of my woman was telling us the other day that her "friend with benefits fella" wants to knock on her back door and what should she do. She also then told us how when she goes down on him how he likes a finger in his back door at the same time. So, with this information, you wouldn't be the only fella out there testing the waters. Good luck my friend!

 

Kiddie Roque has excellent advise, may I refer you to the melodious lyrics of the Notorious B.I.G. as confirmation:

Recognize G, straight up, I can't knock ya
After Big Poppa, füćk ALL of Junior M.A.F.I.A.
The whole clique, d!ck sucked, a$$ licked
Leave your number by the phone, bring yo' a$& on home
I roam in Lexuses and Benzes, the fly way
With the flyest b!1ch gettin head on the highway
(Ridin)

As to the diazepam, perhaps if one were taking an airline trip in the near future and felt nervous about flying and if perhaps one explained this nervousness to one's primary health care provider that one's customary means of dealing with such nervous was to drink copious amounts of whiskey and which in the past had led to one, upon landing being escorted off the plane by the Air Marshall who wanted to be a punk after one had simply made an innocuous request to the Flight Attendant; then perhaps one's primary care physician could suggest an alternative to bourbon.

Like Scotch!

 

On a long enough time line the survivability for everything goes to 0.

They just pulled the plug on a friend of mine last week. She'd been in a coma for about 2 weeks after a car wreck.
2 years younger than me with 2 kids. Still can't bring myself to delete her accounts from my systems.

Squeeze every last drop out of this b!1ch and drink from the cup until it's dry

 

Well said sir!

 

Post of the year

You sir were are and always will the
Earl of Funk and Duke of Cool

 

u have to make a counter offer to which she has to do something she would never do.so be like hey ill do this after u do that.something very painful lol.u don't want to say something and she says yes so think wisely lol.

good luck and godspeed

 

in my opinion there were several good solutions
1.Chavez- give her a good horse fvkkin- she'll forget all about it
2.nynj- crack her once or twice
3.KidrocK - go slow/ start small gradually increase volume

Warning on #3 (foot in the door law) If she is a real freak and it gets good to her all bets are off





it starts harmless- either in the Dr's office or with a baby carrot



PROCEED with caution seldom

 

Just say no

 

Ehhhh i don't know man. Apparently it could be great. But i for one, don't want anything near my butt. If your feeling adventurous, try it. Could be a great experience for you. If your very anti butt, just flat out say no way.

On two sorta off topic points. Some may say in weird but i have no interest to ever enter my lady's butt. I don't want to stick my D where the brown comes from. Long time ago s friend showed my some like blooper porn thing. Guy was doing this girl in the butt and i guess he could feel poop up there? In a seductive voice he's going "what's that? Got a little poop up there? You poop today?" As she's screaming "stop babe!". Scared me for life. No butts for me

And secondly. I once got tested for STDs. Got this qtip thing shoved up my pee hole. That freaking HURT! Then afterwards when i went to pee it still hurt. Had to sick a sock in my mouth to bite on just so i could relive my bladder. So in comparison....somthing small in the butt can't be worse than that.

 

I ain't no doctor or sex therapist or psychologist for that matter butt that's for out, not in.
She must really hate you dude.

 

Certainly a wide range of topics on this forum. Covering some new territory here. Going where no man has gone before...

 

Dude if you've never had butt tongue before, I really believe you should try it. Really. It's an experience that must be, well, experienced lol.

Just make sure you wash that thing first. Out of respect. The only times I never washed was for some stripper after my softball league games.