Parenting / Coaching

Good thread dude, I'll come back later and post something when I have more time.

 

Great call, Dawg, great call....I should have posted here & not over therein what you rightfully describe as the sacred treade!

 

agree with yankee. i was guilty of taking her under 10 basketball coaching job way too seriously when the team lost the last game in the season. it would have made us the champs. i told my daughter that she could have done better. it took me an hour or so and i went back to her, apologized, and told her how proud i was.

now with surfing i just let her do whatever. she can pick what board, where she wants to sit, what wave to paddle for. i'm totally hands off.

now she wants her first short board. she says long boards are for hippies and the foam and fun boards are not cool.

good thread dog.

 

I have three boys aged from mid 20s to early teens. I always let them pursue their own interests. As is usually the case, when they are younger they show an interest in what Dad is interested in. I never pushed them. I taught them the basics: how to find trim and paddling, reading wind, tide, swell direction, how to tie a fly, how to hook em and reel em in (fish and chicks), how to SAFELY handle a firearm (always assume a gun is loaded), how to wrench a motorcycle. You get the picture. Then it is up to them to learn it, improve in it. If THEY choose to.
What's great is all 3 still enjoy surfing, fishing, hunting on their own or with me. Well, when they are in their teens not so much with me but they come back around again in their 20s.
They all have other interests that they cultivated on their own. Those are the things they do that I am actually most proud of. The musical and artistic stuff (must have inherited that from the mother) or sports like soccer (which I actually learned through them and now I coach)
They are going to do what they do, with or without you, you can make that road smooth for them or rocky, it's up to you.

 

Exactly CCDOG. I went down a hard road in my life more than a few times. Mostly before they were all born. There's a difference between living life to its fullest and driving over the cliff (or in my case, driving a motorcycle through a house) and that's what I try to tell them. They're not saints and I don't want them to be. I tell them that a true test of a man is how you handle the low points, the f@ck ups, anomalies, break ups , job firings, rejections, confrontations, arrests, etc. Because if you have a heartbeat in your chest you will deal with, at some point in your life, all of thee above.
Will you be strong when being strong is your only choice? So far so good for my boys but the youngest boy scares me a bit. Waaay too much like me.

 

Man... I've tried three times to post to this thread and each time I sound either preachy or egotistical.

It's tough coaching your kids. You are likely to be harder on them than any other player, and then they go home with you.

I think that could be why my sons can be hypercritical of my Surfe Stylee, or lacke there ofe...

Karma...

 

Yeah man, it is tough to coach especially when they are teens. I taught them how to paddle and stand and read the conditions but they're skill level really takes off when they are in their teens, hanging with their buddies.
I think the company you keep when you are a teenager shapes who you will become just as much as your parents.

 

If I were to give any advice, it would be to grab your kids at an early age and spend as much time as possible with them. Use that time to mold them and earn their love and respect, because you will have a short window of opportunity. Once they become teenagers, 90% of them will rebel somewhat and you'll be wondering at what point you fvcked up with them.

Great thread, CCDog.

 

I'm with yankee. Let the chilluns' grow.

But, she must be proficient in the basic but necessary human skills of swimming and self defense(and situational self offense).

 

Never ask Wayne to be her mentor......no matter what he promises.

 

#1 coach

 

not all coaches/ parents are created equal

 

Based on several concurrent threads we have going here, and despite some of the stuff you jokers put out, we have a bunch of good dads here.
My Dad shared with me his love for the water: swimming, boating, sailing, skin diving, and fishing, as well as his love for music. For my children, it was some of the same plus team sports, running, shooting, and physical fitness. I tried to establish values and a moral and ethical foundation. That can be an ongoing battle. The "enemies" can be peers, even some other parents, the media, and so many other things kids are exposed to on a daily basis.
I wanted my kids to have a sense of family with all the relatives: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws and outlaws. We would all travel to central NY at least once each year and more recently to TX and AL for that reason. They now have a lot of fond memories.
We all try to do the best we can for our kids and, if like me, second guess ourselves from time to time.

 

Lotta great dads silently doing yeoman work, decade after decade. And dealing with fruitcake wives in the process of raising good kids into good adults. I see many of the solid, positive, stoic dads when I'm coaching & they show up to support their kids - - the person who wacks the kid out is invariably the dominant wife. Oh the stories...

Don't get me started.

 

Great stories and yes it is a fine line. My Dad was my little league coach and I sucked at baseball but he was very patient. He was such a hard ass in private, when I did a incomplete job in the yard,or at the gricery store. It was always a white glove inspection. But now that I think back, he never embarrassed me in front of other kids, until I got into a fight or did something really stupid, never sports related. He always tried to build my confidence, although that got me in trouble too. It's a fine line.

I've taught my daughter and lots of her friends the basics or surfing, and nothing is better than to see the look in a kids eyes the first few times they pop up and float along on top of the world. She and I are still close, but Yankee said it perfectly - when they stop having fun, let it go. She still has fun out there on those rare perfect clean days, she has other things she loves more. Face it, surfing, even in warm water and clean waves still requires lots of effort and skill and fitness and timing to make it enjoyable. Most people would rather sit on a towel in the sun and read a good book.

Thanks for the perspective ya'll

 

As rough and tough as you umbres are on this here forume . Reading this almost give me the impression of gentlemen and scholars , and great fathers with a side of teddy bear . And i don't mean no disrespect on that . Normally you guys go get the belt first , ask questions later . This just pulled a complete 180 on me . Hats off Gentlemen . mucho respect .
Im not a father but i had a good one . He's method was kinda like if he seen me putting a fork in the out let , he wouldn't yell at me . He would wait . Wait till after i had stuff the fork in the out let and got a little zap . then He would look at me . With a calm voice " i bet your not going to do that again , are you ? " Well if i liked the zap , he'd take notice and let me jump right in . fellas nice read . best theade this year ,