Wipeout Protocol

1) Drop your pants and take ****.
2) WIPE clean.
3) Then get OUT of bathroom.

There you have it--wipeout protocol.

 

And now you know!

 

I like to make a big face so everyone on the beach knows I'm pissed i fell. Then I like to stay under for an extra second to calm myself and be a little more dramatic. Lastly I like to laugh a lot after.

 

I like to panic, then thrash around a lot. It uses up your oxygen and makes it more exciting.

 

Covering your head is super important. A few years back i kicked out of a wave on my LB. No one was around me as i was the first guy out. Everyone else was still in the lot or walking down the beach. Anyway some how the board for away from me and whacked me in the head. Huge gash that required 10 stitches. Board was smashed and had hair and blood and skin stuck in the ding. Lots of blood and very very woozy. Didn't get knocked out but about an inch lower on my head and i think i would of been out.

Ever since then i made it a point to cover my noggin. Then i got lazy. A few weeks ago i pulled into a barrel that closed on me. Board hit me right behind the ear. Concussion and huge lump for a few days. Luckily it was a small 5'8...a beefier board and things could of been much worse. Needed that little reminder to cover up.

 

when you sux like me you learn early to cover up! 2 years ago in C.R. I was near 2 other Americans, they got caught inside and one of them took the others fin right in the head. when he came up he was panicking. there as a 3 finger flap at least 3 inches long sticking straight up. at first I thought he was impaled by the fin! taking away by ambulance in a 3rd world country musta sucked! luckily I saw him at the surf camp 2 days later wearing a ball cap and he was fine! id be lying if the didn't think I was over my head there, no pun intended!

 

Depends on the wipeout. Failed lip gouge or tube i'll cover. Been hit in the face and head b4 and is no bueno.
If I teach a newb it's priority #1.

 

Really dependes upon if i tied mye leashe propere like.

 

that's the way to roll

 

I just relax and ragdoll like a drunk in a car wreck. Come out unscathed every time.

 

You get a lot of practice, huh???

 

Nah, I don't drink lol

 

Not around the neck. But around the face. One of those bigger thanksgiving day swells a few years back. We had a run of like 3 thanksgivings with nice waves in a row. Anyway pulled into a barrel i had no chance of making ever. Waaaaaay to deep. Crazy vision though. Best iv every had. Anyway while underwater the leash wrapped around my face and pulled real tight. Nose was bleeding. Came up hysterically laughing. Mostly because i was in shock at how bad that could of been, yet i was 100% fine minus a nose leak

 

Haven't heard of that one, but i've scorpioned once on a late take-off.
Air dropped into what I thought I was a perfect set-up for a deep tube. Landed 3/4s down the face of the wave, my outside rail caught a chop, and i was thrown into the flats. My upper body was already arching back and i partially broke the surface of the water stopping me dead in my tracks. Then the lip came down on me and I pretty much kicked the back of my head with my heals.
I floated on the inside for about 10 minutes wondering if I really fvcked myself up. Slowly I regained myself and was fine. Paddled back out and had a good sesh.
When i got out I realized I buckled my board pretty good.
Jersey Juice Bruddah!!!

 

I think after decades in the water, you develop a sort of 6th sense about where your board is. You're not even thinking about it... you just sort of have this intuition, knowing how you're falling, what the wave's doing, and where your board is and how it's going to respond to how the wave is breaking.

So I think you unconsciously body english underwater to avoid getting hit by your board. I'll be that if you could have a a camera under water that sees everything, there's probably a lot of really close calls and just misses... that these subtle little intuitive moves you do underwater kept you from getting doinked.

 

Some truth to this. There's an actual term for it in the medical profession: 'athletic response.'

Meaning, for years it's been noted by docs that athletes & people who are athletic often avoid much more serious injury, or any injury at all, with last-second micro-movements that qualify as survival instinct. Actually, said 'instincts' are your mind/body reflexively making adjustments based on years of training.

Such as falling on a hard surface. You see lots of people getting hurt when they put their hands out. Broken wrists, face plants, broken arms, busted teef. Whereas most people who have competed in contact sports will roll or tuck or make a minute movement that allows the body to take the brunt of the impact where it most can handle it.

This medicale momente boughte to youse by Bayer asspirin....

 

+1 LB. I was going to bring up that very point.