The Lighter Side

A guy has been suffering from a terrible headache for years. He tried everything from acupuncture to heavy drugs and is really desperate when he finally flies to Shanghai to speak to his last source of hope: A surgeon specialized in hopeless headache cases.
The doctor examines him, asks a few questions and then tells him: "I see nothing wrong, surely you are one of the worst cases that has ever come before my eyes, but I do have a possible cure for your condition. It might seem drastic, but in hopeless cases like yours, a total removal of both testicles seems to be the only option."
The man thinks for a bit, but then quickly agrees to have the surgery, since he just can not bear the pain in his head anymore.
The surgery works like a miracle. The man feels very relieved and is happy that someone was finally able to help him. Overflowing with joy and to celebrate a new starting point in his life without the terrible headache, he decides to go to a local tailor and get new clothes from head to toe.
The tailor seems very professional, because he instantly guesses the mans shirtsize as a 42" chest without even measuring him. "Wow" the man thinks, this guy is really good!" When it comes to choosing the pants, the tailor again sais: "I see that you are wearing a 32 inseam". Again he is absolutely correct. The pants fit perfectly Then the man decides to put the tailor to one final test and sais: "I bet you can not guess my underwear size!"
The tailor gives him a quick glance and sais: "That is easy, you are a size 34!"
"Ha!" the man sais, "I guess you are not perfect after all! I have been wearing a size 32 for all my adult life!"
Tailor sais: "No, trust me, a size 32 would give you a terrible headache!"

 

Confused


I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'

U.S. Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Cable / TV 'Service'

Civil 'Service'

City, County & State Public 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into focus.

Now I understand what all those agencies are doing.

I hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.

 

A SHORT… BUT BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY


A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and
gently woke the woman
saying,……….’Ma’am,
I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?
I’m awfully cold’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied…. ‘Just for tonight……let’s pretend that we’re married’
‘Wow!……………That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed……………
‘Good,’ she replied…………….’Get your own f*******king blanket.’
After a moment of silence he farted.
The End.

 

Bait Truck
[video=youtube;EB5cifD1jUg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB5cifD1jUg[/video]

 

Sex Frequency for Older Men

The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.

Statistics just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, revealing that:

North American, Australian, New Zealanders and British men between 60 and 80 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to a lot of us at the pub, as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.

 

[video=youtube;UM0IitWcA98]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM0IitWcA98[/video]