Well, alright...alright....

I love you, too.

MIS-13 is on here? Maybe he's running from the volcano or something 'cause that dude loves bothering me with his anarchy and shit. He's been supposed to come "fuck me up" or something during Winter Break for years now.

Ah, but you know I won't last. Mr. Swellinfo Guy is no fan of mine, and you know someone's going to tell on me eventually.

"Ohhh, I'm telling...."

Actually, I ain't interested in pugging around here no more. Pugging means fightin'.

 

QUOTE="ChavezyChavez, post: 494331, member: 27996"]Dear Rob Kelly,
I asked you to come surf with me at my home break of xxxxx, I know you are the top dog of OCNJ and all, but I offered you a free slice of pizza from Azzuras on Landis ave so I thought you would come down. Instead, you went surfing on a river in PA with Ben Gravy. I'm all alone down here and sad. It's not like I'm hanging out in Hammonton waiting to catch a glimpse of you or anything....[/QUOTE]

What is scary here is that when I just saw you Chavez the first thing I thought was Landis Avenue.

Uncanny.

Oh, I've never told you guys before but I'm a bit psyche. I just know things.

Dude, I got to make Billabong happy man, and those Gravy novelty wave vids are only going to hold interest for so long.

Man, I don't want to end up working the cash register at 7th Street in ten years, you know.

I lost my connect Khristian M around town because he's wanted for Strict Liability Death from a CDS charge, so I go to Hammonton and meet up with my boys and we take the bus to Philly. Any random day I'm waiting at the bus stop on South Egg Harbor near Bellevue. I usually catch the 10:47am or 11:47am.

This way I miss the Kensington morning dope rush and get there around lunch time and the ending of the morning cop shift. Man, fuck Strikeforce.

Damn NJ Transit train AC - 30th ST is suspended from 7:30 - 3: 30 each weekday.

Me and Gravy have been shooting a lot, especially last summer at The Jetty.

You should come up. Remember man I'm suspended from the roads until 2021. Damn man I was locked-up 7-years ago at this time. Mays Landing kicks ass.

I love you.

 

Sure, if you're into surf and sexual fiction.

Cool guy. Good politics. Scared of 3-foot beach breaks. Quaint New England beach breaks at that.

Why oh why do middle aged dudes try and act like, me, Rob Kelly on surf predictin' website message boards?

Hey, I'm like a reverse vampire. I don't go out at nights anymore. I do my dirt during the day. Shouldn't you guys be out drinking or something?

 

Nah, no good BBQ recipes. I don't eat hog or cow. Just pizza.

I hear Blue Light has some good BBQ recipes.

How's Chummer & Scott McCrannels doing?

Jesus, older people, do you 'member how many pros Florida had back in the late 80's early 90's. Holy Mack...

What was Juan Epstien's full name?

Skye Surf Products.

 

Oh, people, please don't refer to me as "RK."

Please say my name, baby. Say my name.

Rob Kelly.

It's not just that I'm the best surfer on the east coast, but Billabong depends on my publicity.

I am the head Barrier Island Hero of New Jersey. And I'm from Pennsylvania. Ha !! If I sucked people wouldn't be nice and cool to me. They would be all, they'd be like, "Go back to Pennsylvania, cook"

But, man, now everybody kisses my ass. I love it.

Did you guys see my barrel two winters ago?

 

Well from what I see 60% of the people left. Banned or whatever...

Something had to have happened because the shit we've been talking aboot would have us executed five years ago. Drowned like witches in Mr. Swellinfo Guy's pool. As his dog watched, eager to see someone else besides him suffer.

See we can even say "shit" now. Couldn't say, "shit" five years ago.

Something scared them. Oh no we might lose our surf predictin website message board empire.

Guys. They need you. You run this site. Don't let them forget that. Oh, sure, the summer comes along and dudes from Ohio start checking out the surf reports for their upcoming vacations...

Actually, I never started the fights. Other, or otter, people did. For some it was a way to get Internet attention. Then after we started pugging...they'd tell on me to the moderators.

Really, guys, y'all have to stop telling on people. I mean, if you can't handle yourself on the Internet, how will you handle yourself in Lawrence, Massachusetts?

And no one is that busy to post-up a few words on the Internet. When someone says, "Oh sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile, I've been too busy."

That means they don't have no interest.

Ah, man, most of y'alls jobs...people don't do anything but fuck around on the computer or gossip with coworkers. That's the office world of course...

People don't really do much at their jobs. Most of the employment in the office world is just fodder.

For real for real.

Besides, real surfers don't work. They smuggle tweed.

Luckily for me, Rob Kelly, I have unnatural surfing talent.

 

Damn right it was.

Hammer didn't get it did he?

Be cool if someone posted it up on here as homage.