Career / Life Advise Tread

Sorry to hear this dude... I'm sure it will work out for you. I know it doesn't feel like it today but a fresh start to the new year may be exactly what you need.
Take the time to enjoy your trip to PR and plan a new path

 

I meant it Bigs. We can jab each other all day on here but a man's lively hood is no joke. I sincerely hope you come out of this better than before my friend.

 

Plus 10

 

Sincerely, thank you

 

Well, fast forward a few weeks and my how things have changed.
Had a confrontation of sorts with one owner with all the revelations of sale and knowing this was coming. The following day, the shop was closed.
“No money to pay utilities. No service or repair work will be done until mid February. We will help you load up some of your tools so you can do side work.” I suggest a three way conversation to iron out things and work out some kind of plan. Was told January 2nd. Text owner on Jan 2 and got this:
“We need to notify police before you can come on premises - you threatened the owner of the company with a text message. Our attorny is working with DA.”
The threat? In the original message I sent one owner who I worked with daily had this in it..“You knew this was coming and kept it hidden on purpose from me for months. And after I’ve had your back from “GO” - repeatedly. Karma’s a bitch. Good luck.”
Anyway, bullpucky soap opera stuff add nauseum including a very eye opening one way conversation with the wife and other drama later - I’m faced with some hard truths: I’ve allowed myself to be influenced and controlled by my surroundings and circumstances and used that as an excuse to become selfish, bitter, narrow focused and arrogant about some things I have been taking for granted.
Ive let outside crap turn me into a reactive, angry jerk. I even have had an FU attitude about my high blood pressure (brought on by self induced stress... my own dam fault) so instead of accepting it and handling it, I was gonna flip a finger at it... and now it gets to stroke level when things get emotional or bad. Awesome job.
Long winded story but with some good to it: I’ve never been as wide open eyed about what my future plans were and are going to be and it was a good hard lesson that I was as suceptible to becoming who I was as anyone else. I wasn’t any “better” or stronger. Humbling. Gonna be some serious cleanup of things but thankfully the surfing stoke is back. And I will find a way to make it enjoyable again instead of so much work.
Sorry if the message board became my shrink but I can’t complain to my wife so all YOU wackadoos get to hear me whine lol.

 

They are, but this one was rough. I’m a pretty strong willed and honest guy and decent - I lost a bit of faith in myself this time.
But, Sokay cause like I’ve said, it’s a new me in a lot of ways. Better. And I’ve got another job that may be more than just a bandaid, and I’ll find ways to meet the bills. I always do. But now I’m going to be calling the shots on my life, not my bills, and certainly not my excuses. Feels good in a way. And I’m sure it will feel better as time goes on - it usually does. That worm always turns right?
Just hope I don’t need an F’ing lawyer to get all my personal belongings hahaha

 

I already told you this, but things will work out in the end buddy. Your too good of a person for them not to. Im here for you if you need anything homie, my offers still on the table and it'll stay there until things work it's way out. You know how to contact me.

With that being said, i got to make my way up to you. I think a few waves between friends is in order. I'll ask mother ocean to give us an opportunity.

Keep your head up friend.

 

Ditch the bitch.
Stay employed.
Stop drinking.
Meditate (use an app like Headspace or Calm)
Surf more.
It's expensive & stressful AF these months for you, Biggsy. In time, and Time is the only thing that will close the wounds, along with you working hard to make the changes regarding yourself that you noted, you will be in a very different place.

Don't expect change if you stay doing the same ol' shiiiiite.

Fingers crossed for you, mon frere. Been there.

 

Gotta say, this is why I love surfing so much and why I’m stoked to be a Swellie.
Truly some dam fine people.

 

Thank you Brother. 100% spot on and I’m already pushing. Seeing doc tonight to help get insides squared away and then it’s working on my head time. This stuff helps immensely, and I’m sure it’s done that for all of you at some point. Gonna do my part to give back fellas, trust in that.
Mahalo

 

Wish I would have some advice for you. I don't. But for what it is worth, out of chaos often comes opportunity. Keep an eye open for it. Many miss it.
One thought--you said you have a daughter- never surrender on her. Never. Ever.

 

Just do stuff until something in your wheelhouse comes along. Wash dishes. Paint houses. Whatever it takes to pay the bills. It sucks, but most of us have been there before.

work hard and keep your nose to the grindstone, and something will fall in your lap. Count on it.

good luck.

 

I’d live in a cardboard box for her Barry. She’s my heart and soul. Perfect “advice” Bro

 

Not much to add that others haven't already said. Absolutely sucks that you're in this situation but do what you gotta do and things will turn around sooner or later. Without knowing or wanting to know the details of your "one-sided eye-opening conversation," it's good that you realize that complaining to your wife will only either cause an additional problem or make the overall situation worse... a lot of married men nowadays don't understand this reality and expect their wife to play surrogate mommy when times get tough. Hell, I still do it a bit more than I should from time to time, but it's damn near 100% guaranteed to only make things worse (and that ain't a comment on any specific women, just my understanding of the way the world works). Definitely direct it here instead, the worst we can do is ignore you (or, in one case, call you a moron).

Good luck with everything. And I'll definitely be hitting you up in a couple months to meet up for a surf (official start date in Boston is 3/4).

 

It would seem to me that I have established the word "moron" as *THE* password for entry in to the SI Clan of Morons.
My work is done here.

 

o barry

 

And here is one now!!! <grin>

 

So step 1 when losing employment is to ditch the mother of your kid? Shocker you didn't stay married.