autistic dude for hire

So that's how Moses did it. Mega tard strength!

 

would be a good screen name

 

Here's a simple solution to this incident:

The boys who encouraged Parker to jump in should try it themselves. It's not like they dared him to run in from shore and run back out. They walked out towards the end of the jetty where he jumped in fully clothed in 30F water and had to make it back to shore while they were filming and laughing.

If I were these kids' parents facing a lawsuit, I would put an ad in the paper asking for anyone to assist in lifeguarding over their kids, who will repeat this same dare while the water is still freezing. Maybe Parker and his mother would drop the charges if they stepped up and repeated what they made him do?

Following this stunt, all person involved would become honorary members of the Manasquan Hui. A local surf shop would step up and donate a brand new 9'0" rhinochaser to Parker, signed by all parties involved. Coors Light girls would also be invited to attend.

The End, Case Closed.

 

there's no way these guys did anything LEGALLY wrong and its impossible to prove they knew he was [SPECIAL] just a dare gone wrong! I believe in KARMA and maybe one of these p.o.s. will drowned this year, one can only hope!

 

I say we all pool together our resources and send this kid a couple cartons of cigarettes. Or even better start a kick starter to raise money so he can buy all the cigarettes he wants. That would be cool.

 

Why post probably has nothing to do with the rest of this in this here forum. But Jesus Christ! I don't know what it is about summer and cigarettes but it appears that damn near everywhere I look somebody is either throwing one out the window or throwing one on the beach. There was a few times I thought it was going to lose my cool but I talked myself down off the ledge. What are you guys do to control your aggression towards people flicking cigarettes out the window or even just on the beach

 

I feel you on this. Flicking them out the window is one thing, one disgusting thing, but putting them out on the beach is something completely different. Only the most s*** brained assholes would do this. Only people who's knuckles are calloused from dragging them when they walk would do this. Only people with chapped, cracked lips from only breathing out of their mouth do this. Yea, I'm looking at you @666Face.

One of my surf mentors taught me to pick up every single piece of trash I come across on the beach. I made it a habit. Same when I'm on the boat. I'm out there doing circles picking up s***. Fortunately my beach is relatively clean, but I still sometimes will burn 20 minutes of my session picking up people's filth.

When I worked at a beachfront hotel I would pick up trash by the contractor bag. This wasn't in my job description, but when the tide was coming up and had beach towels and s*** in the surf I had no choice. And you would think the poors would pollute the most, but guess what, it was the rich ones, the expensive college spring breakers (Duke University specifically sends the absolute worst polluting f***ing assholes I have ever encountered) that were the worst offenders.

THE BEACH IS NOT A F***ING ASHTRAY.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Edit: To answer the question about aggression toward polluters. I embrace it. This is my home. The only thing that keeps me from getting confrontational is my lovely wife's voice saying "dude, don't be stupid as them".

 

you can't smoke anything on the beach here on folly anymore. No cigars, not even a vape pen which i find pretty amusing. I haven't been looking out for it, because it doesn't cross my mind when i'm out there. The plastic ban however hasn't come back. That came undone when restaurants were bitching about money being lost during pandemic. How many restaurants went under? not much. The real crooks are our local restaurants, those greedy turtle hating bastardos

 

Same with WB. No smoking cigs/cigars but I'm not sure about vapes. If not, I'm sure the ban is right around the corner. People still do it, they just have to look both ways first. Just like crossing the street.

Rich folks hate seeing the townie rif-raf (me) in front of the houses they use 2 weekends a year, so they try to make it as uncomfortable as possible. They already banned beer and dogs. Unfortunately for them my huge ugly van is still there blocking their view of the sound several days a week.

I'll say they have had some success with the $5 an hour parking, as I now look at the surf and think to myself "is that worth the $15?" and I don't go.

On the restaurant note, we lost a bunch of good places in 2020. Some places that I thought were rock solid went down pretty fast. Best breakfast burrito in town, "Cafe Del Sol" lost to the 'demic.

 

Ugly white van !!!! What A Great view.
Keep up the good work!

 

It's actually red, gray, and about 1/2 the body is covered in rust. Super ugly.

 

Man, speaking of learning disorders, I have a neighbor that is such a f***ing idiot.

He's in his back yard most evenings and every weekend blasting pop-country music from a giant speaker with a subwoofer (which means I can hear it from anywhere on my property, and even down the street), shooting off fire works for 2 weeks before and after every national holiday, and yelling at the top of his lungs, over the music, at his kids, wife and dog. To be clear, I'm cool with the dog. I'm a non-confrontational dude so I have dealt with it by planting large plants on my property line and spending more time on the boat. We even considered buying another house to find some peace.

So this Sunday he's out there bright and early, blasting some seriously horrible music about doing some dumb s**t on a lake or something, kids are screaming, and he and the wife are having to yell at the top of their lungs, over the music, at the kids and dog. It's 10am.

I need to trim some trees, which for the last 8 years I have burned the branches in a fire pit. I have these fires like 4 times a year. So I start burning. it's rained for 2 weeks so it's smoky as hell. The light and heat of the fire attract the redneck kids to the fence and they start trying to talk to me. I ignore them.

So the wife comes over to a crack in the fence, "sir, sir, SIR!!" she yelled over the music. "your ashes are getting in the pool (a blow up baby pool), how much longer are you going to burn?" I point at the 5ft pile and say "the rest of this pile". Her panties are already in a bunch because I ignored her kids when they were yelling at me thru the fence 5 minutes ago and now she's real pissed off. GOD FORBID I ignore her annoying kids, and to inconvenience her is not acceptable!!

So she tells yells to hubby "He ain't gonna quit burnin so we gotta cover up the pool", to which he goes full f***ing Karen replies "I'm gonna call the fire department". Please note, I live outside the city limits where I can burn pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want on my property. Not sure he called them or not because they never came. I hope he did though, as I was 100% in my legal right to burn my yard waste. I had planned on cutting the grass and I normally leave the clippings down as mulch, but today I decided to rake it all up and drop it on the fire, smoking out the whole f***ing block with wet grass smoke.

Moral of this story is that even though you live in 'merica and have the freedom to be a complete obnoxious a**hole 365 days a year, don't expect any favors from the people you impose your annoying lifestyle on.

Anyone else on here have dumb as s*** rednecks renting a house behind your property?

 

Dude, you should have him over for a beer, maybe invite him to go surf or fishing and turn him on to some good music or music you prefer, because the music will never stop...Try to see life from his perspective. I bet yall have alot in common... Lol all my neighbors are rednecks... They are very good people to have around in a pinch.
Or you could fight fire with fire. Get your own system and blast some music back that direction, make him see life from your perspective. Best lof uck.

 

LOL, I recommend Slayer, Reign In Blood, full volume back at him. Maybe the Circle Jerks, Group Sex, I've used that one before on an upstairs roommate. Played it over and over.

Sure, you can offer him a Coors Light, jam a little Zach Brown, but they might get too friendly and then you have em on your side of the fence making themselves at home and borrowing shit.
Or they could be legit decent people.
I've always been lucky with neighbors.
But these damn summer tourists. Lady in a huge white Escalade parks in front of me yesterday and doesn't stop until she hits my bumper, then parks it just like that, our cars like Siamese twins, all in front of me. When I tell her she acts put out. No damage of course.

I really don't mind the uber rich, have known and socialized plenty on Nantucket. A lot of them are actually down to earth. It's the semi rich or slightly rich, biggest f@#ing snobs. Also, according to friends in the service industry, the worst tippers.

 

If you really want to piss them off play old school 80s gangsta rap.

 

There was gangsta rap in the 80s?

 

Lol - I actually don't remember. Wasn't NWA in late 80s?

 

Well I'll be damned. NWA was the late 80s. In my mind, the 80's hip hop was all about music and having fun and banging girls. I didn't think legit gansta rap came out until the 90s, but NWAs "Straight Outta Compton" was released in 1988. So, well played sir, well played.

 

Great ideas, all. Appreciate it.

The teenager in me def wants to buy a BIGGER speaker than his and blast some Infant Annihilator (the darkest, heavyest black metal that I know of), but I'm past that point in my life. I also considered just running my generator, but I don't want to hear that either. That would just escalate and in my old age I'm into taking the high road, which means doing nothing.

My post was really the beginning and end of it. I just needed to vent. I'm going to continue to plant hedges and hope that they move.

@nalu222 - you're right, we do probably have a lot in common. But as @Manik mentioned, I don't really want to risk them getting too comfortable. My wife always comments on how country I was raised and still am, but I don't have the obnoxious redneck gene. Can't stand people like that to be honest. I respect my neighbors, wave when I see them, and help them out when I can, but aside from that I want to do my thing and let them do theirs.

Last night the wife and I had a beer on the back porch. The dude and wife were still screaming at each other, but he didn't have the speaker out so I *hope* that *maybe* we are moving in a positive direction. Fingers crossed.

 

High roads always the best way to go. Build that hedge wall.
I have a great buddy in NC, close to Ashville but a really small, dry town. Super rural. He has the exact same attitude as you. But it's funny that he never thought or tried moving away, he is North Carolina through and through. (He used to play bass in a band called US Christmas, they actually got kind of big for a while).