Atlantic City area surfers - Beware Bogeton Wolftucks.

Listen, anyone fimiliar with Atlantic City knows that all sorts of species can be found living under the boardwalk. We all feel bad for them.

One day last week, I was walking down the boardwalk and spotted a big pack of seaguls a few blocks north of States Ave. They were the big guls that have a lot of feathers on them that resembles fur. I'm totally stoked on those dudes. They look furry and shoot. So, I dodged a few memebers of the 8 Block, and went onto the beach.

I try and communicate with seaguls. I try and creep up on them and initiate conversation. I've been doing this for a long time, and quite frankly, I haven't had much success. But I will never stop trying.

I approached the pack, which were longing at the waters edge and was making good progrees when I heard, "Excuse me Chap."

I turned around and a rather large sized dog was looking straight at me. He must have come from under the boardwalk and was now a few feet away from me.

"Allow me to present myself, I am Bogeton Wolftucks. I am from Wales and I eat surfers." Can you imagine what it's like to hear a dog speaking to you........

So I countered back in my best Spicoli voice, " Hahaaaahaa aaaaa I'm no surfer, I'm a boogie boarder, dude. I guess your shat out of luck. Hawhawhawhaw.."

Bogeton Wolftucks wasn't having any of that. Angrily he stated, " THOSE PETRID TECHNICALLITIES MATTER NOTHING TO ME !!!!" He looked over me and said, " I, Bogeton Wolftucks, from Wales, will eat any rider of any surf......unless they beat me in a game of poker."

What could I do? There was no running away from him. So, we went back under the boards, he poured a glass of cheap brandy which he chugged back, and proceeded to deal a hand of poker. Dude, I hadn't played poker in quite some time and was extremely nervous. My luck hasn't been of the good kind lately either..... Bogeton Wolftucks checked his cards and smiled. I hesitantly picked my cards up and took a painstakingly long look at them. I couldn't believe my eyes - three Queens. Not too shabby, I thought. However,Bogeton Wolftucks had a peculiar smile on his furry face, and I admit my confidence began to wane.

Bogeton threw down three Jacks !!! I jumped up, hitting my head on the boards and slammed my three Queens on the ramshackled table. " HA BOGETON WOLFTUCKS, there will be no eating of human flesh for you today, sir !!!"

Oh yeah, you dudes surfing those places in AC, be wary of Bogeton Wolftucks.....for he eats surfers.....unless your lady luck is shinning that day.

 

Thank you oipaul.

 

First of all, being insulted by Hawaiins and non-Outer Banks, North Carolina residents is a compliment. Erock, you keep playing the know-it-all hippy at the University of Dawson's Creek and keep your creative jealousy intact. I'm not writing a book here and you are not The New York Review of Books either. Do you want to be a critic? Is that your dream? So here's one friggin penny back because your opinion isn't worth 2 cents. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahhhhh look he's going to cry....LOOK !!!! He's friggin crying..........OMG OMG OMG OMG LMAO.....LMFAO.......OMG.............LOL..................

Yes , Erock, you have said that I am Gruvi and Sandytoes2 lovechild before. Everyone is as impressed the second time hearing it, as the first. I suggest starting a thread to make sure that EVERYONE knows your theory.

The rest of y'all: I am completely sober. I haven't dropped acid in..........like.........15 years. Not heeding my warning is a foolish idea. Bogeton Wolftucks is very real. Ask the 8 Block(a gang of hooligans in the Back Maryland section of Atlantic City.) They have seen him. Seriously, go around the 800 block of Maryland Avenue and ask around for Whiz or Cash. They have seen Bogeton Wolftucks.

Now I have to find out about this Gruvi, dude.

 

Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic....oh sorry wrong place......Hi, Appalachian SurfSlider. It is an honor to meet you. We'll be best friends.

Hey if you guys were on that Italian cruise line that went down.......would you have gotten out unscathed? I would have.....Oh man did you see some of the videos where everyone was screaming and crying and shoot. You don't do that. Stay calm at all times.....like when some of you guys are paddling out and that four footer comes rearing at you.......you have to control that panic. Sometimes I have to take anti-anxiety pills when it's over chest high.

 

Listen Erock.....oh by the way, you mention cooked-cocaine, and your SwellInfo moniker has "rock" in it. Is that a coincidence? I am very fragile these days due to Kim Kardashian's marriage break-up. I mean if that can happen, what else can go wrong in this world? You know? So, OMG, why are you out to hurt my feelings. I cried when I read your message this morning. I had to call my mom, I was so upset. I've been on here less than a week and you follow me around insulting me. Jesus would not do that, Erock.

Anyway, this is the thrid website message board I have taken interest in. From 2002-2004 I played "David Eggars" on a certain surf website that displays surf spots that You may want to surf. I concentrated on Silver Strand in Oxnard CA and all of us had a wicked good time. An unknown partner in crime joined in, assuming Oxnard legend Todd Young's identity, and we went off. No one lost interest. We had people from Alabama wanting to move to Oxnard. Which is interetsing because we talked about crack, Val abuse and assorted debauchery. After a year, the webmaster erased all of our messages and changed the protocol of posting messages. Don't worry SwellInfo dudes, I am a much tamer animal these days.

Then I was on a certain website for a show on A&E Television........different name than here but still had the SJB initials. NO one lost interest there. I even mated with a Canadian girl from it. People loved me.....people hated me....but they hung on my words. I could be a real jerk back then. I had problems. LOL......LOL......LOL. I hate "LOL"

Erock just be human....honest......people appreciate that stuff. And always mispell a few words here and there, it endears you with the common man. Just like dumb hicks loved George W. Bush because they could relate to him. Also Erock, people love to hear the bad things that happen to you. The more embarassing the better. People love that stuff.

The main reason I'm felating myself here is not to act cool, but ARE any of you dudes out there..........Todd Young.....David Eggars........Silver Strand......Chaz.........That mysterious dude who knew all about the killer surf spots in Camden,NJ ?? ANYONE ?? ANYONE ??? Because those dudes were cool as heck............Ok, I'm going to go let the Atlantic bore me for a minute. I love all of you guys.