You Know It's Really Bad Nightmare Flat ...

when you take a hammer to the rail, just because you need another ding to fix...

 

when you post a thread like this for entertainment... =P

 

When you finally make a handle on Swellinfo after a year of lurking the forums.


And I thought that it was funny that you mentioned worrying about cold weather wax, because just today on my drive home from upstate NY, I was wondering if I should make sure my wetsuit is smell free for the next swell that comes in. And I wear boardshorts through the end of september.

While I am learning surfing, I am an alright bodyboarder as I did it since I was a kid. Usually I go to the water atleast a few times a week because on the bodyboard I can still have fun in 2.5 foot slop. I haven't been out in the water in 2 weeks now

 

When you head to lake Erie to visit family and think the knee high slop on the lake looks fun.

 

Along the same lines as staring at your dusty quiver...

...when you start having existential thoughts, like... "Am I a surfer? I don't surf, so how can I be a surfer. What is a surfer? I like surfing, but I don't surf..."

 

It's bad because I'm staring to run out of Jack Daniels, ammunition, and paper targets.

 

WB Surf Report:

Killing some good size class Spanish Macks in about 40' of water at dawn and dusk. Most are 3+ pounders. Clark Spoons in 0 and 00 green, pink and silver flash behind 1 oz trolling weights or number 1 planers. Bluewater Candy Spanish Mack squids doing great on the surface. Make sure you keep a dink ballyhoo behind a Bluewater Candy skirt on your shotgun long--the Kings are starting to move close to shore.

Flounder fishing is the best at the nearshore ledges, AR's and live bottom. I prefer Spro or Bluewater Candy bucktails in 1-3 oz depending on current tipped with Gulp 4" and 3" shrimp and 4+" jerk shads. Night time gigging in the flats and marsh creeks is producing a good number of flatties too.

Big Bulls and Black Tips right off the beach: Find a shrimp boat and drift while soaking mullet heads on Owner 10/0-12/0 circle hooks. Make sure you use at least 200lb piano wire leader and have a good team release plan when you catch the shark. A 300lb Bull will pull your arm out of the socket, make sure you leader it in like you would a Marlin.

This low wave action and forecast NE wind for a couple days will get the water really clear nearshore and hopefully inshore. Spearfishing by this weekend could be all-time with 15+ feet viz right on shore to 30+ feet in the blue water.

 

When you stop lying about surfing and start lying about fishing

 

rofl
.......

(edit: apparently the forum will not let you write in all caps)

 

What he said.. been lurking for years and just decided to join the conversation to "feel connected to surf" ...so sad...

 

When you go and clean off all the wax from every board you own and clean them off till they are brand new again, and then rewax them perfectly for the next swell that has yet to hit the forecast yet.

When you inspect your leash for each board you own.

When you inspect every inch of every board for dings and start questioning if you need to buy more ding repair kits, even if you don't find anything that needs repaired.

When you wonder what a kick pad would do for your board that doesn't have or need one.

When you check the fins of each board and make sure they are safely secured.

When you inspect your roof racks to make sure they can withstand 80mph on the HWY cause you are going to make it to the coast in record time this swell (that has yet to be forecasted)

When you map quest every possible alternate route to find out if there is a shorter drive to your spot that you never thought about before after 17yrs of driving the same way.

I don't do these of course, just something I thought of....

 

You repeatedly browse your quiver for an appropriate board and keep pulling your 14' ... kayak?

 

Not to be a **** but...when youre too busy *****ing about how flat it is to realize that it was 3-4ft in VB when you started this thread and that it still is today...

 

When you start wondering where you could store a sup..

 

HA, i live in a townhouse and store my 12'er at the midway point of the stair case where the ceiling goes all the way up, it's fun getting it in and out of there

 

Not sure where the topic-starter lives but I had fun playing in the windy slop at Jennette Pier yesterday... before almost getting struck by lightning

 

Pick up another sport....

http://youtu.be/W0S59iyWyBE

Then you won't have a wait out the flat spell. When the surf is here, I surf. When its not, I do other things that are fun. Plus, I get to scope out the surf like a bird before choosing a spot. Comes in handy during Hurricane season, F*ck yeah!

 

When I am at work

 

Haha. I've been thinking about more floatation for some time now... I have Kayaks in South Jersey, where I keep my shortboards for the summer, but am considering an SUP for the Hudson post-hurricane season, since I live in NY.