Discussing Roy's surfboard designs.

The boards that this Kiwi makes are wall hangers, plain & simple. In the water, they're soggy, slow & can't get out of their own way: see a number of tester reviews.

As for Stuart: the man is a Kiwi who is full of himself, as some of them are, islanders who cling to the inferiority complex of a rejected people who are the modern legacy of the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire, doomed in their island paradise to raising sheep yet generating little hope, producing high-quality mutton but constructing sloppy wooden surfboards from Stuart.

As for Stuart, the man will talk & talk & talk, talk you to the point where you run for your sanity; he's a tavern oracle, the type that the Irish would say has The Gift, and which modern law enforcement would say has the grift.

Who is Stuart, one may ask? Well, even a broken clock is (deceptively) right twice a day.

 

I enjoyed this accurate depiction of the throbbing ego known as Roy Stuart.

 

As did I, thanks Yankee for providing me with a well needed laugh this morning, you are a wordsmith....the cast-off stepchildren of the failed British Empire...friggin' hilarious!

 

Can you rename your surfboard "The Retirement Plan"?

 

Sorry for the bad pictures. The boards are about 14 feet up in the air and I almost killed myself hanging them the first time so I just snapped these pics on my phone as I walked out the door this morning.

So what do you think they are worth. Heck, I might me a millionaire and not even realize it.


The first two pics are the same board at a little different angle to show you they actually have rocker and are functional boards, not just planks of wood.

I'm going to start shopping for my Lambo now!

 

Yankee, man, I don't get it. How do you generate such strong feelings for the people on this forum? First it was leethestud and now it's roy stuart. I understand that you don't like his boards (or him) but does that really mean you have to badmouth the people of New Zealand?

 

Those boards are nice but I wouldn't give a penny over $350,000 for the fish. I might go $475,000 on the longboard if you can guarantee it has at least 18 inches of nose rocker.

 

News Flash: Roy Stewart gives up on board shaping and designs the worlds newest, latest, greatest bicycle!

Roy has discovered the way bikes were meant to be ridden. Only kooks, followers and the uninformed would waste their energy pedaling around the current bike designs. These brainwashed people around the world will soon awaken and realize they've been riding the most inefficient, useless design ever thought up. Only the informed class will fall in love with and embrace biking in its purest form.

MSRP: $450,000.00

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Oh wait, it was a new no slip bicycle seat he invented.

 

Fake Roy... I think you are hurting the image of the real Roy. I still can't imagine that you are real. so post that picture in the pose I request, please. Otherwise I can't really think about giving an honest response to your posts...
the only thing I can say for sure is that your boards look like they would be better as kids snow sleds... and would probably perform better as such.

 

Schweeeeet! Tell you what, I'll go $800k for both and throw in the shipping but before we close the deal let me see what Roy has to say!

 

HAHA. Unless this guy is going around on various forums for the past 5 years posing as Roy this is definitely the real Roy. Go to http://www.grainsurf.com/forum/ and check out the history of is posts.

 

for half a million dollars I could buy myself a refurbished original woody, a quiver of surfboards, and modest beach house near the coast in Rhode Island with some beer money left over for a housewarming party. I did navigate to Roys website (kind of got a kick out of the fact that its a .biz site...) and I have but one question for the man himself - Roy, when you parted the Red Sea, were you able to surf the top-to-bottom wall you created through the divine intervention of the Lord Almighty on your $550,000 single fin, or did you feel like you needed a quad set up with a little more rail?

 

Hey RID I've spent some time on the grain forum too! Have you built your own hollow wooden surfboard? I bought some paulownia wood this fall and plans for the shingle fin from Rick, but i haven't mustered up the motivation to get started yet...

 

actually if the board was the other way around it would probably work much better.... as it is, I don't see it working at all...

 

Roy - I'm really curious what's the most expensive board you've actually sold to date? Like most, I personally don't "get it", but find it interesting.

 

Lighten up, Francis.

 

come on folks, yankee is Roy Stuart. He is also the Nicaraguan bandito(s), I mean, how convenient, he owns land there, probably from the proceeds of the 1 or 2 boards he has sold. He is also SouthjettyBill, nyshredmachine, and the double D girl, and... leethestud, I just don't realize it yet.

 

PinkStink I have built quite a few boards. There is not a good local supplier of Paulownia near me but I found a great place in NH that sells cedar decking for real cheap. It has some knots but that just adds to the look of the boards. Below is a photo of the last board I made. Its a real fun project and even better when you get to ride weeks of hard work. I will tell you though your first board will not be that great. It takes a couple to get the techniques down. If you have a background in woodworking it will come to you much quicker. Also I now you bought plans but download AKU shaper. Its a fantastic board design program that will actually create template for hollow wooden boards that you can print out at Staples for a couple bucks. Have fun on your build and stay on tree to sea it is a wealth of information and extremely useful when building.