Why am I such a *****???

you may be just the person i need to talk to...i have a few questions..

Stock brokers, financial advisers and mutual funds have failed their clients over the last 24 months, and most should be fired.

I’ve been saying this since last year. And the commenters who responded to Howard Gold’s article at http://www.marketwatch.com seem to feel the same way.

1. How much money do you make when your investors are in cash? In bonds? In stocks or ETFs? In mutual funds? The answers usually are that brokers make nothing when you’re in cash. Their firms often come down hard on them if they’re not generating commissions, even in bear markets.

2. When was the last time you had your clients in 80% cash? Why? Results? How long? If never, walk.

3. Are you a buy and hold adviser, a day trading adviser, a swing trading adviser? Why? If buy and hold, walk. The adviser is lazy and probably poorly informed.

4. Of your clients, what percent hold the same stocks, bonds, bond funds, ETFs and mutual funds? If the answer is fuzzy and the broker wannabe won’t show you a summary of clients’ holdings, walk.

5. Do you recommend no load funds? If not, walk.

6. Who does your trading? You? Your clients online? You should do your own trading on line and make all final investing decisions. That way, you’ll learn the game.

7. How much money do you have in stocks, etfs, bonds, bond funds, money market funds and T-Bills? If they won’t tell you and show you, walk.

8. Since 75% of stocks move with the market and in major market moves 90% move with the market, why play the asset allocation game? Isn’t that concept obsolete? Never own more than 6-10 securities.

9. If you’re such a good investor and trader, why are you wasting your time with me? (Snotty question that puts the blowhards in their places.)

10. How much time do you ask your clients to put into reviewing their investments and learning about investing and trading? (If none, walk.)

 

Is your screen name/handle thing a play on words? It's kinda like mayonaise. Did you do that on purpose or is that an unfortunate coincidence for a guy that Shred can only barely bench?

 

Have fun! Wish I could get out.

 

To be completely honest I just started surfing. Been out in the water a total of a week and a half and I just say "Ok, it's choppy and head high. Sounds like a fun day to learn" if you're a strong swimmer and know the spot you're paddling then you can force yourself to learn quicker than an ankle high glassy day. Small isn't good for hands on unless that's your learning style (slow and steady) I prefer the "There it is, I've seen someone else do it. Let's see if I can" since it forces me to learn in harsher conditions as well as quickly to be able to save my own ***

 

[video=youtube;vuuTS_WNw5w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuuTS_WNw5w[/video]

 

I don't agree with that. You will learn faster on waves you can catch. When it is head high with 25mph cross winds, on top of strong undertow/current, you will not be really catching any waves as a beginner. Unless you have natural talent, I think glassy waist-high swell tend to help you learn faster. I was out in the best and worst conditions as I was learning last year. I didn't really feel like I was getting it until I had a couple consistent days with glassy barreling waves. Once I was up and riding along the face a few times, it started to feel natural. Days like today, on the SE coast, are really crap for newbies. Mostly closeouts and mush, so you are not really learning how to ride a proper wave. Remember, just because you are standing up on a board, does not mean you are surfing.

 

Sometimes when I post it's way to elegant for you readers and I'm accused of copy and pasting. So here's my advice. Don't listen to anyone in here telling you not to paddle out. Some of my best days have been paddling through 30-40 mph winds that make choppy waves but once you get out you are looking at DOH. That stands for double overhead. If you don't try you will never succeed. Just be careful.

 

Check out the wave next to my name... Little bit of practice and you'll be there. Practice you're duck diving patterns. Be the board..

 

What's the Over/Under on NJshredmachine's age? If it's over 15, I'm taking the under.

 

I said it works for my learning style. I've already demonstrated before that after I have a while of horrible conditions, catching waves and actually surfing is A LOT easier when it's clean and decent height. Also I will agree that it is bad for people learning in the SE right now because we've been going on yet another head high + swell over the past few weeks so unless you want to practice duck diving, it's not that fun from a brand new surfer point of view.

 

I started learning to surf a little less than a year ago as I didn't have the privilege of growing up near the ocean. A few weeks after I started I paddled out on a day that was above my ability level (head high maybe overhead with fast closeouts). I had just about made it outside when a wave broke on top of me and held me down for what felt like 30 seconds (it was probably less than 10 seconds but I didn't have very good lung capacity at the time.) The ocean has a funny way of putting you in your place. I was pretty shook up but I learned a ton of lessons that day: knowing what conditions I could and couldn't handle, respecting the ocean, and knowing I could handle taking a wave on the head.

Try to find something positive every time you go out, even if its as simple as feeling more comfortable on your board. I was out a few days ago and wasn't catching anything because of a couple converging swells and a strong current but there were dolphins jumping about 10 yards away from me which made the session amazing.

 

You'll remember that hold down, too...had exactly the same thing happen to me in my first year of surfing. Had my head and shoulder pinned to the bottom for what seemed like an eternity. Definitely humbling, but prepares you for future sessions, i think it gives you more courage and reinforces the importance of placement in the lineup...

To The OP:

and ShREDMacHiNe could give you ideas on duck diving patterns...lol

Surfing is not an easy thing you just pick up, maybe if you throw up 400, down 4Loco and bang all Hindu Honeys, but for the vast majority of people it requires hours upon hours of water time. Every time you go out the conditions can and probably will be different, so it takes a lot patience.

Work on duck diving, not NJSM's patterns...getting out there is numero uno, then comes figuring out where you need to be to catch a wave, then how to know when to start paddling for the wave, foot placement on board....way too many variables....shoot for catching a wave and riding down the line, first and the rest will follow. The feeling you get when you get it good....it's irreplaceable.

 

you have to be an 8 year old.

Be the board...ROFL...

 

Yeah, that is my prediction. Young and stupid. The posts aren't intelligent enough to just be a troll account, unless that is the whole point.

 

Here's my take...just charge it! Take every wave you can, even if you don't think you're going to make it. Just be respectful of other surfers (don't drop in or kick out your board). The more waves you take, the quicker you're going to improve. Don't worry that you might look like a kook. That's a given. Wear it like pride. Those laughs and snickers you hear from other surfers are in your head.

If waist high waves look too big for you, you just need to get over it. It's just water. The big lesson for many people in surfing is courage - getting over the hesitation. Pretty soon you'll be looking for bigger surf.

I see these guys all the time - they paddle around the line up and act like their trying to catch waves, but don't. Most of us who've been surfing a long time appreciate newbies who charge it. Once you fall a few times, it won't seem so bad. Just remember to bend your knees - more than you think you need to - and don't look down at your feet. Look at how the wave is building. that will take your mind off of popping up. Always think one move ahead.

Keep surfing!