The Worst People to Surf Around

I'm a major **** now anytime I paddle out in VA beach. All of the punks, young and old alike, will take one look at my grizzly mean mug and just stay away. They can't hang with my relentless paddle to beat the sideshore current. Nothing I hate more than a day of good spread out swell with no sideshore current, lots of kooks in the line up then that would've otherwise gotten blasted down the beach within five minutes of approaching me. I actually add to the sideshore current by pushing so much water behind me while I work against it. It's a certified 5 mph faster right behind me, although if you stay in my wake I've heard it's like nascar drafting. Of course you have to have the balls to keep the peddle to the metal.



I remember one day I paddled out in the OBX and my ankle was busted from jumping out of a truck that was moving the night before. I actually would've landed running but I hit a pothole and twisted my ankle on the dismount. Anyway though this punk kid starts saying "locals only", we are on pea island there are no real locals and most of them are my descendants from VA so I didn't know what this guy was talking about. I was basically maimed out there with one good leg so I was having problems. Eventually I sat inside and late dropped lazily into a barrel and got spit out and came back to the lineup and this kid was telling his buddy how I Just got spit out in front of him while he was paddling out. No more locals only talk, this guy actually came over and gave me a pat on the ass and said nice job. I told him, "whoa bud, i don't know how y'all do thing down here in the sweet south but I'm not john wayne." He just laughed and shook his head disappointingly and we shared waves the rest of the day.

 

so what you're saying is you're perfect and never blow any waves and believe you have a right to take anyones wave if they mess up once or twice?

 

That's the way of it brinestein. You surf near a charger and you need to be charging or move along. Nothing worse than the guy who paddles deeper than you and then blows the set waves. Listen, I would've dropped in anyway because they paddled around me to get on the peak, but when they blow legitimate set waves with lackadaisical paddling and then act like they are disappointed they missed the set when really their balls were taped to the deck and they were never even going to try to make the drop... don't be that guy. If you're that guy you're gonna have a bad day.

 

yousaid it couldnt agree more it sucks that it has come to this but in vb sounds like we have the same game plan 1000 yrd stare and wear the guy next to you out so lame but at this point almost unavoidable lol and to the second part of the story i cant even tell you how many times the same **** has happened to me funny how people change there tune once you pull in deeper than them again donkeys some exceptions for sure but mostly donkeys the deserving ones usually let their surfing do the talking and maybe its coisidence but ive never had a problem with any of them

 

rotfl tooo true again donkeys i tell ya donkeys

 

too the pump fakers that is gotta love the priorty paddlers that pretend they wanted the wave ahhhhh the true donkey in alll its glory

 

been in the ocean up my street 50 years.no one surfs here except literally a couple guys occasionally, i surf totally alone 90% of the year,then invaders come memorial day-labor day,except a few early birds,but with sandy+ everyone blowing up bay head/now sspk replaced the pier that's not happening.the crowds are only summer during the day and weekends,and before 10 and after 4 when it's usually better most are nowhere to be found,so i got it pretty good,but there are those moments.when some invader paddles anywhere near me it's not good,because some internal,involuntary thing says 'where are you all fall winter spring and why don't you go back there?
1.invaders
2.invaders
3.invaders
when i go anywhere else i stay out of everyone's way and show total respect in case they are local,because it's not my break,and they don't need my company.either paddle out and surf with me here all fall winter spring every year or stay where you are those 10 months or stay away from me and show some respect.

 

Anyone who doesn't love it enough to tough it out for winter surfing, especially girls.

 

Ahh, that was a good one. Kudos. Salud. Cheers. The line aboot carpooling by a milf in an 80 seat minivan was a good one.

And....the Vah Beachers in OBX is classic. I've always found that one amusing. I've never had any problems with Va Beachers when I lived in the banks. I actually like Va Beachers. And the VA Beachers might have an attitude down in the banks because they are "City Folks" whose area brings all the drugs to the Outer Bank's.....so that gives them some cred in their minds. And Outer Banks folks just love their psychoactive substances excpet for the hardcore Bible thumpers. Oh, watch out if you go to those outer banks of North Carolina. I hear the have gangs around there now. Very scary. Plus, they have just discovered heroin down there in the last decade. Many of these gang members hail from extremely dangerous places like Elizabeth City, which is just off-the-charts in the ganking scale. Be careful.

 

Hahaha I like this guy...gotta say if a dude near me blows a few set waves and I'm in position for the next I'm at least gonna start to paddle in case he doesn't make it...I pull back if he does but nothing worse than watching a sweet wave that you coulda had go unridden.

 

people try saying Brazilians and aussies are the worst.they are patienant about their sport.brazilians come from beat up favelas built on mountains,they aren't as lucky as u and I to live in a normal house.so when they surf they blow the roof off.i like surfing with groms.they are cool,carefree,and don't get in the way.who I hate are those agro aholes that are in their 30s and try taking every wave and talk smack to anyone who isn't a local.

lets define what a local is.most of us are not locals.if your fortunate to live near the water,kudos to you.but as I see when I pull up to my break,are 50cars in the parking lot.i don't care where they came from,but your not a local.waves will always come.so don't get all pissy that someone took your wave after you just had a ride.

what I saw over the past week of the Tahiti swell,fukin bonkers.jetskis everywhere,boats crashing into each other,none of them locals.you think raimana was going to tell everyone to fuk off,no they have no problem sharing their great waves.i see people post pictures with a fence or whatever and everyone flips out,oh u just blew up my spot.even tho the person been there 10years before you,they still complain.im originally a skater who transformed into a surfer over the past 20 years.when I skated,there was no locals only.if the rail u wanted to grind was full of inline skaters,u go find another rail.thats what I do with surfing.if theres more than 5guys at my spot,i go to a different spot.no need for hostility.

surfings been so commercialized over the past 10 years,i seen plenty of fads.remember clay marzo?then it was doheny,davis,andino..now its albee and matt.now its john john.iv been watchin john john since he was on mtvs cribs.he rips,but no need to parade and jump on the jj bandwagon.i don't surf for flix or videos,with hopes of landing sponsors and big checks.i work a regular 7-330 with overtime.i don't get to surf everyday,but every big swell im out there.

so point is,dont be an a hole.u give respect to get respect.if you want to parade your local spot is for legends only,no outoftowners,then fuk you!!you will never make it as a pro,because you are too greedy.you wont go on surf trips around the world,u wont surf the north shore every winter because my spot is for locals only.people fail to realize you can find anything online,any spots,any charts,swell maps,etc..nothing is secret anymore.the spots I surf have no surfers around for the next 30 miles.soon while every agro kook is complaining about yuppies surfing their break,the acoe will secretly destroy your break while your home sleeping.instead of fighting the real enemies,you hate on your own kind.i used to look forward to meeting others that share my same interests with surfing,now anytime a buddy tells me oh I just met this surfer,so what.i don't care.probly some degenerate kook with a defense budget for 6/5/4s and al merricks.

 

what street you surf? Im from jersey to

 

the street i'm from is a terrible beachbreak closeout that i surf alone until all of a sudden when it gets warmer invaders start to appear.if you don't know chadwick you're not missing anything,and like i said,i don't need anybody any buddy system.

 

The only thing that bothers me is arrogance. The guy who paddles out and gives you a look of contempt and then acts like the whole ocean belongs to only a pro like him. (ya hearing me NJshred/Bustinairs/Watchmyguns?)
Was lucky enough to be in the water with Kelly Slater a few years back...one of the best surfers on the planet and polite and cool to everyone that was there. No one wanted to get in his way,but he deferred a lot of waves to others.

 

ummmm ok ..

 

I find that it helps to treat other surfers as wildlife

 

1. Navy guys

2.Navy guys chick

3. Navy guys brother

 

The worst people are former locals that moved to California for a year or two then came back east and think they are pros, when they still suck as bad as before they moved. They can usually be found bragging out loud in the line up about how sick Mexico is (when they took one trip to Baja), how they scored perfect Blacks (when they probably didn't even get a set wave), and trying to own their old spot by somehow thinking they are a traveled/experienced surfer. Oh yeah, non-stop comments about how the burritos are better too...

 

The other thread got me thinking on this one - PR spongers are absolutely terrible to share a line-up with. Impossible to get a wave to yourself.